Guilt trip

[Reha]

Re: Guilt trip

@Mirch

If there is no physical evidence of what happened in the past and no body can prove anything , there is no need to bring the cat out of the bag.

:k:

The thing is…I know many people dont agree with what Mirch has said. But its practical advise.

I dont think its deception or lying at all. If its a past that has NO bearing on your future…then there is no reason for anyone to know. I dont agree with this mentality to putting all the cards on the table…no matter what they look like. Be honest about the man you are today…and thats it.

Razz, show him the woman you are now. Thats his business. The past…is not. If someone asks me about my divorce and how it happened…I tell them. Its on paper…I cannot avoid it. However, that piece of paper has nothing to do with the kind of partner I will be to a man. Nothing. As far as Im concerned, its MY past. Im the ONLY ONE allowed to be affected by it. No one else has the right to pretend to be wounded knowing I was married to another man.

@princessjojo

If I loved him or even cared for him, I would make sure he gets what he wants in his life. And if I can’t do that, then the least I can do is make sure he does not end with something unwanted in his life, whether he knows it or not. I would absolutely tell him. In fact, I wouldn’t even start a relationship based on any hiding anything or lying.

What’s worthy to him or not is for him to decide. It’s his right.

In addition to that, our past is a part of us, even if we have changed. I would want to be accepted for who I am and who I’ve been.

But the bottom line of reasoning for me is that I do not have the heart to take away his right to have or at least pursue the kind of life partner he wants in his life. It’s just too selfish.

It makes sense Princess when you say it like that. It does.

However, I would try and think of what will happen and who will benefit from knowing about this past of Razz’s. I dont see how it will contribute to a healthy marriage or relationship.

Its HER past…it has nothing to do with HIM unless she had a baby or is still reeling from the consequences of her past. Unless he will be directly affected by her past…I dont think he should necessarily be told explicit details and history. Its none of his business.