Re: Guide for dealing with in laws
Oh yea definitely! It's always good to give the in laws some nice gifts just because it shows them that you're thinking about them.
Re: Guide for dealing with in laws
My brother never answers my emails :(, but my bhabhi does :)
Re: Guide for dealing with in laws
I agree with inpak, you should definitely send them gifts. They will really appreciate it!
Re: Guide for dealing with in laws
mahru and inpak 
I am sure Allah is watching and I am sure he will reward you for your patience.
Re: Guide for dealing with in laws
I have done everything to make my mil happy but she is one woman whom no one can really make happy. I have sent her gifts expensive ones but she could care less. Some ppl you can never change so that is why don't expect anything from them. Good Luck!!
Mahru, since you seem to be in kind of the same situation as me, I was just wondering how you handle staying with your in laws when you go back to Pak. I just feel uncomfortable pretending to be all ok with everything when it's clearly not.
Re: Guide for dealing with in laws
Inpak: Oh, i probably suffer from high blood pressure when i am in Pak. I just try my best to control my tongue. Keep cool and if i hear or see something that offends me i just walk out of that room. I know how bad my temper can get so i try to avoid them as much as possible. I have horror stories from when i am in Pak but Allah has always helped me deal with them. My poor hubby suffers the most at the end. But, that is what you get for not taking a stand for your wife.
I think it is the husband's job to balance out these relationships. But, as far as my inlaws are concerned nothing in this world can please them. They showed me their true colors before i even met them. Plust, the best part about my trips to pak is that they are very short. Hubby and i only go for 3 weeks per year. They have asked me to stay back without him but that is one thing i have been very stubborn about. I have made myself very clear to everyone about that but in a very polite and gentle way but i am sure they don't buy it.
Re: Guide for dealing with in laws
Devoted: you can never go wrong with sending inlaws gifts. They will be delighted!
Re: Guide for dealing with in laws
as in they dont even want to see you? scary :-s
Re: Guide for dealing with in laws
^ No they want her alone, without the hubby there.. :shudderinfright: 
Re: Guide for dealing with in laws
Chameli420=Ira???? I think i just uncovered the true identity:D
Re: Guide for dealing with in laws
Mehru> your Mil seems like she stepped out of the movie monster in law :Big grin:
Re: Guide for dealing with in laws
N where the hell did u come up wiht that? 
Re: Guide for dealing with in laws
how do u know :o
Sara so they want her to come ot pakistan without their son? :-s why would they want that if they hated her? :-s
Re: Guide for dealing with in laws
Barfee & Sara: When hubby and i visit pak...my inlaws want me to stay there longer so they can slave me around without my hubby being there. They hate me but never give their son that idea that they hate me. They act all too nice in front of him. It is when he is not around their true colors somehow surface.
Re: Guide for dealing with in laws
Zaiboo: the mil from monster in law was much more tolerable than the one i have!
Re: Guide for dealing with in laws
chameli420... Congrats again..
I would just say everyone's situation is different. First, just get to know everyone in the family... see what your saas likes and dislikes... if she dislikes something try to avoid it infront of her. Do simple things that will make them happy, and appreciate you.
never trust anyone to share your personal problems with them... other than hubby dear ofcourse :).
and whoever said dont interfere in their personal problems is absolutely right... dont ever take sides if your in-laws are having a fight...
and sometimes you will have to ignore their comments that offend you....
These are just some tips i try to follow although i have been blessed with wonderful in-laws !! it makes life so much easier when you have a saas who actually treats you like her own daughter :)
Re: Guide for dealing with in laws
ohh and Mahru's saas is really really mean :( she even looks like a witch.. honestly
mahru we love you though...
why are some mil's like that though??? i mean if the bahu was a biatch..then its ok... but if the bahu is nice and all... then why??
Re: Guide for dealing with in laws
Huh??? Lol, wrong answer.
Re: Guide for dealing with in laws
You know before I got married I never used to believe all of those stereotypical images of the “mean in laws”. So i came into this family with a very positive mindset. But in this particular family that I married into it is true that the MIL is the big boss and she is a bit on the snobbish side.
So my MIL being the head of the family, my husband tends to overlook her snobbish ways and makes me feel like it’s my duty as the bahoo to try and make her happy in everyway. Going back to the old country is always a nightmare for me cuz my whole family is in the States and I have no one to visit just to get some relief from any of this.
Oh well, I guess i’ll just have to toughen up a bit and not let any of the irritating things she does get to me. I always tell myself that I have flaws too so I should try my best to get along with my MIL:frusty: