Should I send bday gift to my hubby?? Since we r living separate from past one year, no speaking terms, he didn’t even wish me on my birthday neither wished me on our baby doll birth. And still I want to send me bday gift to keep this relation up.
Am I wrong? He never bothered abt my feelings, don’t even know abt our relation to continue or not. since he told me recently if I dnt agree on his terms then would leave me.
if I were you I wouldn’t even think of sending him any gift.
if his own child hasn’t been able to melt his heart do you honestly believe that a birthday gift would do the trick ?
what should you do ? stop thinking about him and start concentrating on yourself and your child and spend all your time and energy to make life better for you both.
and I am sorry if you find me harsh but I can soo relate to your situation and want nothing but good for you and your kid.
I appreciate dear what u said. and it is true.
I still love him and dont know how to ignore him in my life. I hope, he would find some humanity in him.
then why don’t you just go back to him , if you love him and cannot help your feelings for him then what is the use of being in your current situation . Honestly , you are in middle of no where right now , married only as per law but living life as a single parent and not even divorced. Do you know where you stand ?
if you can’t let go of him then what is the use of dragging the issue so far , just take a decision and go back to him but be then be ready to face the unexpected.
Diamond had a good point here. If you still love him and want to keep the relation going, then why aren't you by his side?
None of us here know your situation, but by the sounds of it, there is likely a very big reason why you've been seperate for a year now. And the fact that he didn't acknowledge his own child's birthday, does he even want to have anything to do with either of you?
I can't leave him becoz I can't live with anyone else.Its him or no one. Impossible for me to think about separation. Drives me mental.
At this stage there is still hope, he would come n accept us. Just giving him time, might be my whole life to give him. I might sound stupid, that's all I can do.
Praying to ALLAH, HE resolve my problems, soon. whenever it is good for all three of us.
He is coward, can't take stand for his relation. don't know where this relation would end.
Can't think about separation?! Haven't you already been living apart for a year now???? Please stop torturing yourself with dreams and dramatics. Start thinking in reality.
I wish you the best of luck, but in my opinion , it doesn't sound like your situation will resolve itself the way you want it to. Have you ever thought about what kind of example you're setting for your daughter?
dear by reading your posts it's seems like you both are already separated . You just have the legal status of MARRIED and you can be called his Mrs by law and this as a result is giving you hope that things might get better.
do what your heart tells you to do otherwise you'll be stuck in "ifs" and "buts" for the rest of your life.
If he has already given up on you and his child, is there anything you can do? Is HE even worthy of YOU? What kind of man abandons his family, for whatever reason? A worthy man would try to work out the solution to keep his family together. He’s not even speaking to you, so how the heck can you even try to come to a resolution?
Something is not making sense here. You say he wants nothing to do with you, yet you are deeply madly still pining away for him
He wants me to come back. but he dnt want to apologize for his mistakes n misbehaviours he done wd my father.
My parents want me to restore my family but with respect. and Im waiting from his end. Reason is his mother n sisters , who kept teaching him not to bent, if u do then there will be no respect for him and he agrees them. He don't wana divorce me but his family wants him to. For his family, me n my family has disrespected them so they are on revenge. Don't know what he will do.
Like others have said, if he is capable person then he should have resolved this situation in this one year he had. He could have made any decision, even against you but still this cannot be left like this.
Since it seems a clash of families than husband & wife, I would suggest that your family should approach a common friend/elder/relative/well-wisher who would talk to the family of your husband and resolve the issue. The fact that its been a year and you haven't been divorced, suggests that you in-laws are waiting for some move to reconcile its just that they are willing to take the first step.
Hey Guy its just a birthday gift .
It won't harness her
There is a huge communication gap.
Here is an opportunity to improve it let's do it. don't waste any time .
If sending a Bday gift is going to make YOU feel better, then do it. But if you think that sending a gift is going to improve your relationship or make him change in any way….then yes, you are wrong. You two have already been separated for 1 year & nothing has changed. If he hasn’t bothered about your feelings or the baby all this time……he is not going to change by getting a Bday gift OR change in the next year.
For the sake of your child, make a decision on this. If you want to stay in this marriage then give up all your self-respect and agree to whatever terms he wants you to agree on & move back in with him. Or get divorced & move on with your life w/ your child. This whole “Oh we’re married but living separately for years & he never contacts me or even the child” is a terrible situation to be in not only for you but also for your child.
his family is family like they apologize .
your family is thinking his family apologizes ... it's time to act now try to save your relationship. He will feel good about you if you send him a gift .it will show him that you want to reconcile. we should be talking about what gift you should buy for him. and what should be the one in the letter that you send him alone with this gift
I don't know what to do. Im helpless. dnt wana give up.
Always thinking abt my child life n still found no solution.
I wouldn't have said anything in this thread but this post made me
You're not helpless. You're being selfish. NO ONE is helpless...positively NO ONE.
You can do just about anything you want. Can you eat? Go to the bathroom yourself? Do you have two hands, feet, a working mind and all that? Then you're not helpless.
You are CHOOSING to be helpless at this point and that is a horrible thing for your daughter.
You need to go back home, fix things with your husband and IGNORE his family AND your family.
Realize that it takes two to tango and a woman that chooses to fuel fire with air is just as much at fault as he is.
If you have made the choice to be with him then you are the one who has to fix this.
When I see people fighting over in laws and family politics because FAMILY members are offended due to some obscure comment made here or there...it makes me wonder about the intelligence of mankind.
I always believe and enforce love peace and harmony among family especially among Husband and wife ---This is a Lost case UR husband is a coward who can't even stand up for his own daughter against odds? --A YEAR ? I MEAN A YEAR ? and no softness or even a drop of love for his daughter, not even a ounce of courage to stand up like a Man --his family ?? U and Ur daughter is NOW his family --? He is been away for a year or more in legal terms U r still married but He so far have violated all Laws of ALLAH that ALLAH have ordained to a MAN to protect and provide for his wife/children's ---I normally don't agree in break-up of marriages --but this one is nothing then a Solid cold vertical pointy edges mountain to climb for U and is not worth it -I think he should be asking from ALLAH for forgiveness and repent for his abusive cold hearten and unjust action ---------------------------------------and U pls stop filmy shilmy style of I will wait for him for whole life ?? and stop being selfish Ur daughter is more important than UR own LIFE --and his worthless Life anyway ---------------find a way get UR RIGHTS from him --he is no god ---
Have FAITH in ALLAH promise ALLAH IS WITH U AND UR DAUGHTER ALL IZ AND WILL BE GOOD GOOD ----------------------------------Walk and take a NEW Path with ALLAH Rest is smooth sailing --BUT U have to take First STEP --and ALLAH will Take 10 Steps towards U ------------believe in ALLAH promise ----------------