Today, I came up with the guest list for the wedding. Yes, I know Im running late for June but Im working fast.
The thing is, it came out to about 400 people - including his side. I cant afford to feed 400 people. Im also buying a car, a house, furniture, etc. around the same time!
How did you all manage your guest lists and what did you do to ensure the invited people would show up especially since you’ve already paid for them?
have you considered the kids that will be coming?!?
i went over my guest list just this weekend and have above 60 children attending most of which are below the age of 5!
when talking to the caterer i've asked them to cook for only half this amount....but to keep them in the seating arrangement... i dont see the point in spending cash on food that wont be eaten or having huge amount of food left over afterwards!
Re: Guest Lists - Help
My dad's friend called those he was unsure would attend to confirm. He did this a few days before his daughter's wedding and then confirmed the number of guests to the caterer. This way...say you've invited someone who has 3 kids and 2 of them happen to live on Residence and won't be home that weekend...that way you know you can cut 2 people. You don't need to ask close family and friends.
Re: Guest Lists - Help
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The thing is, it came out to about 400 people - including his side. I cant afford to feed 400 people. Im also buying a car, a house, furniture, etc. around the same time!
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If you cant afford it, you cant afford it, there is no shame in that and nothing wrong with having a smaller wedding. Try to see if there are people you can cross out from both sides, many times a significant portion of our wedding guests are people we invite simply because we feel obliged to for some reason or another
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How did you all manage your guest lists and what did you do to ensure the invited people would show up especially since you've already paid for them?
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If people dont RSVP back to you, try to get a family member/close friend who can call them up to check. At least that will give you an idea of who is committing to come and who isnt. After that, there isnt really much you can do to ensure they will actually show up!
Close relatives and friends have to be invited necessarily with children. However, for distant relatives u can just invite Mr. and Mrs. only. This may reduce ur guests list.
Re: Guest Lists - Help
I hate people who do not RSVP!!!
Sweetie, you need to 'cut the fat'... i.e leave some people off the list. Sounds harsh, but i think a car, house, your future life etc are more important than a one day event.... your wedding day is important, but not to the point where you live financially unstable after!!
I know some people who put 'no children' or 'Mr and Mrs' only on the card.... becasue lets be honest, some desi people use a wedding invitation to take the whole khaandaan for a feed!
Good luck! :)
Re: Guest Lists - Help
Recently I've seen someone do invites where they actually write number of seats on the invitation. Like:
Mr and Mrs and Family .............................r invited
Number of Seats.....3........
to attend the wedding of....
So that way the family invited will know that only 3 of them can attend.
I would certainly try to limit it to Mr and Mrs only, and when u give them the invite, follow it up with a phone call to say that u would have loved to invite the entire family but there is a lack of seating so we are only limiting it to 2 representatives per household etc, and confirm they r coming, this way they will knwo for sure not to bring others.
Re: Guest Lists - Help
Rupay, that is an excellent idea!
But how do you think our desies would react to that? Do you think they would start gossipping and say we're rude?
Some of the people on my guest list are ones who openly complained to my mom that they werent invited to the other two weddings! Ive barely seen these people...havent laid eyes on them in years but they always make her feel so bad!
Those people will never stop complaining not even after they attend your wedding....
Re: Guest Lists - Help
DO u really want such whiners at ur wedding?
Re: Guest Lists - Help
I think in the US, its not a big deal if you write on the cards the number of guests invited like Mr and Mrs etc. People should understand. Now, in Pakistan, people show up regardless whether you invite them or not. Btw, where are you having your reception and catering done from Psquared? (if you dont mind me asking, its ok if you dont want to share).
Re: Guest Lists - Help
i would invite a close friends and family attend my wedding not whole relatives and friends whom we meet a few times. maybe buffets would be a good idea so i don;t mind how many people come or refuse to come.
Re: Guest Lists - Help
on RSVP cards, i've seen the following:
Please respond by the whatever date of whatever month, whatever year
M__________ will be / will not be attending
We have reserved ____ seats for you at our reception
so then in the reserved line, you would hand-write the number of people invited from that family.
and since you dont need to give final numbers in usually until a 1-2 weeks before the wedding, you can call them up and ask them if they plan on attending if they haven't rsvp'd and you can use that call to reinstate your invitation, i.e. we'd love for you and uncle jay to be there... can you please tell me if the two of you will be coming?
inevitably though there will be people who will say they are coming but won't show up... there's not much you can do about that, unfortunately. we had one family in particular who kept insisting they'd come and of course, didn't show up, which really pissed me off because given the smaller size of our wedding, we'd have loved to have other people instead of them, if only they'd been honest with us and just said sorry we can't make it. stupid people. grrr....
I think in the US, its not a big deal if you write on the cards the number of guests invited like Mr and Mrs etc. People should understand. Now, in Pakistan, people show up regardless whether you invite them or not. Btw, where are you having your reception and catering done from Psquared? (if you dont mind me asking, its ok if you dont want to share).
Hey Ira, how are you feeling these days? Hope you're doing well.
My reception is being held at the family hall - not because we own it or anything - but because everyone gets married there from my family. The owner knows us now so hooks us up with all sorts of free stuff. Ever hear of Empress Banquets in Addison? Thats it. All of my catering is being done through Delhi Darbaar from Devon. They have the best food and do all of our events so we get good prices from them. I dont know anyone with better food honestly speaking.
My obstacles now are going to be stage decor, centerpeices and making sure these people show up!
I like the idea of limiting the # of people that show up. It leaves me with less to worry about.
Re: Guest Lists - Help
Bon, the hall looks really nice! Are you going to dress it up with lighting?
My fiance and I did separate cards. Most of my guests are coming from out of town so I knew just how many people to expect. They, on the other hand, wanted to limit the amount. So they wrote in the number of guests invited on the reception card.
I'll let you know if people actually heed the request..
Rupay, that is an excellent idea!
But how do you think our desies would react to that? Do you think they would start gossipping and say we're rude?
Some of the people on my guest list are ones who openly complained to my mom that they werent invited to the other two weddings! Ive barely seen these people...havent laid eyes on them in years but they always make her feel so bad!
Complainers, usually they r the type of ppl u can do without anyway. (We had a few complainers after a family wedding, actually some of them we didn't invite PURPOSEFULLY, rather than forgot!)
I think most ppl should understand that its difficult to get quality with high numbers of people, simply bcos of seating limitiations. Even if ppl complain afterwards, it really doesn't matter bcos u had ppl there who u wanted, not odds n sods who only come out of the woodwork when there's a wedding to be had.
You may even find that you have become a trendsetter for others who will follow your example on limiting numbers.
Bon, the hall looks really nice! Are you going to dress it up with lighting?
My fiance and I did separate cards. Most of my guests are coming from out of town so I knew just how many people to expect. They, on the other hand, wanted to limit the amount. So they wrote in the number of guests invited on the reception card.
I'll let you know if people actually heed the request..
Thank you!
Yup, Im looking for a good backdrop as well as some extras like lighting and whatnot.
Let me know how your turnout is please!
Re: Guest Lists - Help
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Some of the people on my guest list are ones who openly complained to my mom that they werent invited to the other two weddings! Ive barely seen these people...havent laid eyes on them in years but they always make her feel so bad!
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Some people just like to complain --for some reason!! There is simply no pleasing them, so you cant live your life (and your wedding), trying to please everyone. Dont worry, those who truly love you, care for you and are happy for you will not mind or complain. And in the end, those are the people that matter!
You may even find that you have become a trendsetter for others who will follow your example on limiting numbers.
I can see that happening!
Re: Guest Lists - Help
the turnover of guests are usually lower than we expect however you can always trim down your guest list. People who are of not that much importance can be invited without family like Mr & Mrs XY or u may only invite single male / female like Mr X or Mrs X or Miss X.
You can also work on your menu. It is not necessary that you keep 4 items of main course and 2-3 desserts. Just have 1 or 2 main course and 1 dessert . Dont keep cold drinks just keep plain water. In Karachi many people are opting for Kabab Paratha menu it cost much lesser than biryani or qorma etc. I have just enquired from some place thst cost per head would be Rs 90 for the menu of kabab paratha , tarkari of aloo or channa and suji ka halwa .
I wish u good luck !