Re: GS Guys Would you…
Hi, You said you were Non Muslim right? I would just like to share with you (and any other Non Muslims who may read this) my experience in terms of “dating” a Muslim girl and marrying her.
First, please note that Islam does allow you to meet your potential wife and get to know her, share ideas, this is encouraged, .nothing wrong with that if it’s done for the right reasons and in a halal setting. You as the man must respect her , and remember that you are not there to use her to satisfy your carnal desires. By Halal setting I mean that you would never meet her alone at your apartment, or go places with her alone like the movies etc..
I’m married, and my wife is Muslim, however she is NOT from the same background as me in terms of ethnicity. Yet, I couldn’t care less what country her parents are from.
How I “dated” her was that, me, her parents, siblings, and cousins would go to places together like 6 flags, go to dinner etc..I would have conversations with her, her parents would never stare us down or eavesdrop. However just their presence prevented me from even thinking of doing anything remotely stupid. I’d talk to her dad about the economy, make jokes with her brothers and sisters etc…Anyway this “dating” period lasted about 2 weeks.
She told me flat out that "look I like you but if my family doesn’t approve I can’t go any further because I would never do anything without their blessings". Lucky for me her family liked me a lot, so it was good to go.
It was a simple and beautiful experience for me, even if in the end her parents had rejected me I wouldn’t have walked away feeling depressed, or ashamed, and neither would she. We never let each other get too close before the nikah.
We had our nikah done at the mosque, and set the wedding party for a future date. However with a nikah done, she was legally my wife as per Islam and I was free to take her places alone, her parents didn’t care at all where we went after the nikah. **However just to give them respect I would always ask her mom and dad if it was ok (as she still lived with them) , their response was to stop asking lol.
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So in a nutshell that’s it, that’s pretty much your basic Islamic dating and “rishta” procedure.
I contrast this to darker periods in my life where I was involved with Non Muslim women and had many ugly experiences, all the dating, screwing, etc..didn’t bring us any closer nor did it prevent any fights or eventual break ups. Left nothing but an ugly sour taste in my mouth like expired cough medicine.