I’m not sure what the technical term for this is but do you believe that this particular behavior is right or correct?
Let’s say you have an argument or falling out with one person. As a result, everyone associated with that person starts to turn against you even though they had nothing to do with the problem between you and that person…but for them its like…“you mess with me you mess with all of us.”
On the other hand, the thinking may be “if this person is capable of doing this to someone, they can do it to me too” so they are just protecting themselves.
Do you believe that this behavior is fair? Is it more important to be fair and nonjudgmental or to be loyal to someone?
If you are the person that was “wronged”, would you want your friends/family to turn against that person?
I can see the argument from both sides…but i wanna hear what u think.
I wouldn't turn against someone just because my friend turned against someone, I don't believe in taking sides and I believe loyalty shouldn't be blind, it is important to stay fair and judge each person from your own perspective. BUT if I think my friend had valid reasons for breaking ties and was truly wronged only then my OPINION of that person might change. I wouldn't exactly be openly hostile towards the other person but I will lend my support to my friend. From my perspective I find this irrelevant because if I had a falling out with someone I wouldn't involve my friends and family and force them to turn against that other person.
there is a difference between sheep mentality, sycophancy and group solidarity. sheep are blindly led, they don't think. sycophants are merely pleasing others in order to be accepted as part of a group. and group solidarity means that you are supportive of each other but do not necessarily share the same opinion.
if you are an opinionated person then you will have to oppose others when you don't agree with them. if that's not the case then you will eventually end up in a bullying, mobbing circus. i've seen people who literally begged you to support them against others because their little egos were hurt, regardless of whether they were right or wrong. that's nasty..
this is called desi politics my dear .. its real ugly but they all do it(educated or not) .. smtms they do this to get back at u for something n try to make amends with the other party .. no morals sense of rightiousness or fairness .. disgusting
People make the active choice of who they want to hang out with. Its not fair to them for you two to have a fight that affects the group dynamic so adversely. I have been forced to choose between friends and was not easy when I told both of them that I am not choosing and staying friends with both. One threw a hissy fit I have never seen the likes of. But she is a prima donna.
^ well i think it depends on the type of fight no? like someone else said, if its a major thing, then yeah...but in all honesty, most issues/problems are not life shattering, at least the punishment doesn't fit the "crime"....but yeah I get the point that it's not fair for them to have to choose...
If i think my family member or friend was at the wrong end, i will definitely try and explain them where they are wrong and how better they could have handled the situation. Sometimes, i have stood against many close people because they were wrong.
If they were wronged, i would definitely side by them but would prefer not intervening in the business till called for.
I have a dedicated group of friends that are more than just freinds we are brothers of fate...
But we are often divided by great distances and each of us operates like a loner... none of us is much of a socialite instead we are all the outsiders among our communities.
However we are all ideologically commited and strike one of us then we will all strike you is definately applicable to this group...
Day to day however we have friends and accosiates to whom we feel loyal I will never step into anothers arguement unless I thought it was unfair or more importantly if I feared for my friend.
I once had a close friend who thought it would be smart to annoy a street tough, he insulted the fellow and in turn recieved an uppercut that sent him sprawling... I only laughed at that and stepped in to calm things....
Now if my friend had not been the one to throw the insult and was just hit at random then no way would I stand by especially if there was no chance he could win...
When two friends argue I hate taking sides and especially if it does not concern me then I stay well out...
I would be shamed if my friends jumped to my side at every time.... I have few friends and while it's a touching display I prefer to fight my battles alone.
That sucks…but you’re right, any “friends” who turn against you without any real cause are not good friends to begin with..but it is painful to go through it.
It is fair in some cases, but mostly wrong. It just shows that you are not the famous one in that group. Learn to fight back or talk back. Stand out either those sheep will join you or be very careful the next time around.
