goris with desi guys

[Rukhsarbibi]

Re: goris with desi guys

@Matsui

I ws successfully able to explain to him that people who come from desiland and their offspring create boundaries because they are scared of the unknown and the resulting prejudices remain as they have put themselves in a “box-muslim only, gujrati only, brahmin only etc” and limited their individual growth and outlook on life.

Good going Matsui :k:

[Mamaof3]

Re: goris with desi guys

It really doesnt have much to do with being a "gori" or not....I found my knight in shining armor and he happened to be from Pak. He is the most honorable, intelligent person I've ever met. I knew him for a number of years as a colleague and friend. When it developed into a relationship, it was like a cinderella dream come true for me. When you say "cultural baggage" I guess you mean different holidays, beleifs etc. You just work through it like any other difference that would arise in a marriage. You're in a partnership and its your job to work-em-out and thats what we do.

I've seen the type of "paki" that you are hinting at....but hey, there are bad gorahs, bad italians, bad irish etc etc etc.....you cant classify an entire race, religion etc as good or bad -people are, more than anything else, individuals.

[bhoot_ka_baap]

Re: goris with desi guys

Its amazing to see how two people from different backgrounds/religions would overcomeall the hurdles for the true love:k:…I can never imagine myself doing it though, just does not have the courage and the energy.

[Muslim_Queen]

Re: goris with desi guys

@suroor_ca02

why would a gorgeous or not so gorgeous gori fall for a desi guy?

Why wouldnt she?

[system]

Re: goris with desi guys

^ haha! good question.
The things that I read here..just blows my mind :-)

[Muslim_Queen]

Re: goris with desi guys

@Fayz

^ haha! good question.
The things that I read here..just blows my mind

Agreed. I typed out a whole essay as a reply to this thread, but I changed my mind about posting it.

[suroor_ca02]

Re: goris with desi guys

@LuxuryItem

Before defending poor “desi guys”, all of you “defenders” should have asked surDoor why did she settle for hers.

Suroor, so tell us, why did you settle for yours? Was your marriage arranged? Pray tell.

mine was arranged actually and alhumdulillah he turned out to be my perfect guy. and he is pretty handsome as well. the reason i chose the word “settle” is because most non desis spend a large amount of time looking for their “one”, getting to know from one guy to another even when they reach well in 30s or 40s. a typical desi girl like me never have to go through that awful process of heart breaks and headaches, i just told my parents what i wanted and they found a guy exactly like that. i was introduced to him, never had to go through the chair rasm that people keep talking about here. we talked, have lot of things in common and got married. hope that settles ur curiosity about my marriage?
my thread isnt directed any one particular. i know there are lot of interracial marriages here in gupshup, n thought i’d get an insight from them directly. i didnt mean to offend anyone.

[suroor_ca02]

Re: goris with desi guys

@Muslim_Queen

Why wouldnt she?

because they have other options as well. general population have lot of stereotypes and prejudices against desis, so why them and not others?

[Muslim_Queen]

Re: goris with desi guys

@suroor_ca02

because they have other options as well. general population have lot of stereotypes and prejudices against desis, so why them and not others?

suroor, because the two people are of different races, does not mean they cant marry each other. We’re all basically humans, we all have our positive and negative sides. But a gori is not better than a desi guy and vice versa. It depends on the two people , not their looks or race.

Theres no such rule or idea where a person of a certain type HAS to marry another of a similar type.

We all have options. And stereotypes ko goli maro. People who put one race above the other need to be kicked where it hurts.

[Majestic]

Re: goris with desi guys

anything can happen

[suroor_ca02]

Re: goris with desi guys

@Muslim_Queen

suroor, because the two people are of different races, does not mean they cant marry each other. We’re all basically humans, we all have our positive and negative sides. But a gori is not better than a desi guy and vice versa. It depends on the two people , not their looks or race.

Theres no such rule or idea where a person of a certain type HAS to marry another of a similar type.

We all have options. And stereotypes ko goli maro. People who put one race above the other need to be kicked where it hurts.

iam not saying they are better or worse than desis, i am actually more interested in “how” they handle the differences. why do they choose to handle them, when they dont have to?

[system]

Re: goris with desi guys

@suroor_ca02

lets face it, not all desi guys are as handsome as some greek dude or arab guy or even latinos are pretty hot.

@suroor_ca02

iam not saying they are better or worse than desis

Which statement should we go by?
I am not trying to prove anything here nor am I trying to put you down. But the thing is..we have come a long way to overcome discrimination based on race and skin colour. Even if it wasn’t your intent to come out that way..it gave an impression that we accept our inferiority in some way or form.
As for how people from different races are compatible, I’m sure such couples are mature enough to look beyond the minor things in life and appreciate the major ones.

[LuxuryItem]

Re: goris with desi guys

^^

Thanks Fayz. You saved me from writing a response.

achi class lee tum nai. :D

[system]

Re: goris with desi guys

@Muslim_Queen

suroor, because the two people are of different races, does not mean they cant marry each other. We’re all basically humans, we all have our positive and negative sides. But a gori is not better than a desi guy and vice versa. It depends on the two people , not their looks or race.

Theres no such rule or idea where a person of a certain type HAS to marry another of a similar type.

We all have options. And stereotypes ko goli maro. People who put one race above the other need to be kicked where it hurts.

MQ, is right..but to add..“it depends on the two people, Not their looks or race or RELIGION”

[Muslim_Queen]

Re: goris with desi guys

@Matsui

MQ, is right..but to add..“it depends on the two people, Not their looks or race or RELIGION”

You just had to say it.

[aishaA]

Re: goris with desi guys

@Matsui

MQ, is right..but to add..“it depends on the two people, Not their looks or race or RELIGION”

or gender…

[LuxuryItem]

Re: goris with desi guys

^^

After reading all these responses, I am getting misty eyed.

We are such a tolerant bunch

[system]

Re: goris with desi guys

^ absolutely

[minah_pa]

Re: goris with desi guys

[QUOTE]
suroor wrote - iam not saying they are better or worse than desis, i am actually more interested in "how" they handle the differences. why do they choose to handle them, when they dont have to?
[/QUOTE]

First, thank you Fayz, that was well written

Maybe you should ask yourself why you wouldn't chose to handle them and your reasoning behind that.

It's called communicating. When two people are focused on a goal (ie, living together, raising kids, juggling in-laws, juggling religions) they communicate about everything. I don't understand why people think this is so hard or impossible, but it's not. Basically, our cultures are different, but our values and our character are the same. If you think Desi's are sheltered, you should try living in an Olde-world Irish Catholic family. Our world's are not as seperate as you would like to believe.

Anyway, the way we live with different cultures and different religions under one roof works for us.

[Moodie_Foodie]

Re: goris with desi guys

why wouldnt a gori go for a desi guy, i know many people who r married to significant others of all sorts of racial spectrum and i may sound biased here but i have conclluded from general discussion that these women take desi guy to be more grounded and serious "together forever'/ (they know how to nibha" a relationship). Obviously there is more to why people fall in love and everyoen has their different reasons, some people r open enuf to accept a person from a totally different background without the presumption thats it simply wont work or its haram/ or what will the people back in pind will say. In the end, its not wth family we ave to spend our enitr life with, because god knows when there are lil troubles of life, its the arms of the better half u find solace in, not in the chacha in islamabad.