Re: Gori finally meeting the new Pakistani inlaws to be... gift?
not sure what lenox is.. hmmm
yeah my mums really into all this kinda stuff. I personally dont have much knowledge just that if u want to make a desi mommy happy... get her something like that and she'll love u :) either that or some nice Islamic thing...
Re: Gori finally meeting the new Pakistani inlaws to be... gift?
wait so you're a gori and you know whats a gori? That word is actually quite racist towards you guys
Re: Gori finally meeting the new Pakistani inlaws to be… gift?
i agree, that would completely impress them. i think that’s the best way to battle all those bad stereotypes and generalizations about white Canadians that the older generation of pakistanis might have. when a person takes the time to learn a different culture especially islamic culture and even adopt it as their own will definitely leave a good impression.
Re: Gori finally meeting the new Pakistani inlaws to be... gift?
wait so you're a gori and you know whats a gori? That word is actually quite racist towards you guys
not only does she know she is a 'gori', she found GS too to seek valuable advice. so normal!
Re: Gori finally meeting the new Pakistani inlaws to be... gift?
^ Yea daal meh kuch kala hai. Or as they say in Canada the hockey puck is black.
Re: Gori finally meeting the new Pakistani inlaws to be... gift?
How do Pakistani men even get this kind of game?
Re: Gori finally meeting the new Pakistani inlaws to be... gift?
^ Dont tell me you watch ice hockey
Re: Gori finally meeting the new Pakistani inlaws to be... gift?
wait so you're a gori and you know whats a gori? That word is actually quite racist towards you guys
How is it racist? Doesn't it just mean fair skinned person- and thus means white person? Would it be any different than me referring to someone by their skin color (ie, I tell people my fiance is brown, if they ask). I think that skin color is a neutral thing (ie not positive or negative) so saying the color is no different than saying he is tall for instance.
Back to the gift, are you guys saying that I should give a large gift such as something crystal etc, to his mother at this first meeting? Remember, they haven't accepted me yet and Allah only knows if they ever will. Last time I saw her (a couple weeks ago), she went to shake my hand but I forced a hug on her instead... haha. She had told my fiance that she was worried that I wasn't going to be loving. Since I knew I could show zero PDAs to her that would indicate I was loving to him, I had to go all loving on her... lol.
I haven't converted yet, though I'm working on it. If I bring an Islamic gift, would tha be weird to them?
Re: Gori finally meeting the new Pakistani inlaws to be... gift?
GL,
I don't think you should take a gift. They might think you're bending over to please them which could make them haughty. Just meet them and see how it goes. Eventually you will get a chance to bring them gifts, but for this meeting just get to know them well. Overfriendliness is not always taken well in our culture.
Take this in-law relation slowly and cautiously. And stay positive.
How was her reaction when you hugged her instead of the handshake she offerred? Was she visibly and truly happy about it? Did she kind of reciprocate later?
Definitely do not get her something Islamic, you are not a Muslim yet and it will seem overboard.
Re: Gori finally meeting the new Pakistani inlaws to be... gift?
I think you should just take some flowers. Act nice. Wear the S(h)alwar Kameez. Nice touch. Throw in some Pakistani words. Say salam. Help out with the food prep or putting food on the table and act nice and normal. Smile. Say jee a lot. Good to go.
Re: Gori finally meeting the new Pakistani inlaws to be... gift?
Be natural, don't do something you wouldn't do naturally. Don't be overly nice/friendly. Just totally be yourself - how you are on a normal day or how you'd behave with them if you were to live with them. Otherwise they'll think you are faking it.
Be Slightly, very slightly nicer, just coz it will be one of the first few times you've met.
Re: Gori finally meeting the new Pakistani inlaws to be... gift?
I agree, flowers could be the most. Nothing more than that.
Re: Gori finally meeting the new Pakistani inlaws to be... gift?
If my son was bringing home a gori, I would totally expect the gori person to be extra friendly. I wouldn't think she is faking it (since she is not paki) and I would think she is being extra nice to get in to my good books. For me that would be a positive thing. Also if I would see that she is making an effort to assimilate in to my culture (wearing shalwar kameez, using salam and paki words) it would make me more happy. It would mean to me that she is making an effort to get to know me and my ethnic roots and she seems good for my son. Then again I don't know, this depends on how open minded the Paki mum is and also how educated she is.
Re: Gori finally meeting the new Pakistani inlaws to be... gift?
DW,
I know what you're saying but the key word is sustainability. I've seen girls act soo sweet in the first couple of meetings and then they're cold or moody. So I suggest to keep it normal and keep the expectations realistic. I'm not saying be a grouch, but I'm definitely saying don't be soo overly nice and soo overly friendly that you can't maintain it later on.
Don't know if i'm making sense..
Regarding being friendly - it's reciprocal - if they're extra welcoming then GL should be extra friendly - but if it's one-sided it might look stupid.
About the cultural outfit: to me it really wouldn't matter. if i had a gori daughter in law and living in Canada, i'd expect her to be modest but not to wear shalwar kamiz all the time. i'd prefer she wears what she's comfortable in and not shalwar kameez just to make me happy. so GL, i'd say you should wear shalwar kameez only if you also plan to wear that later on when you meet your in-laws, even if it is just at special occasions. Don't wear anything too bling, but wear something semi-formal.
Do not wear capri pants with your kamiz (it's the fashion these days but Pakistani parents usually don't appreciate it).
they key is Be Yourself. Do not go too much out of your way as it will be difficult to sustain later on.
Re: Gori finally meeting the new Pakistani inlaws to be... gift?
Yeh that is true too. So GoriLady, first check on how the in-laws to be iA are with you. If they seem friendly and receptive, adjust yourself accordingly. Also keep in mind what AuntyNo1 is saying. If you are generally a friendly person and will be able to maintain yourself then go for it. If not then be normal and just a tad bit more friendly so not to build expectations. :)
Re: Gori finally meeting the new Pakistani inlaws to be... gift?
Exactly DW, you know, I'm saying it would look odd if GL is being extra friendly, taking an expensive gift and all, and then her mum-in-law acts cold... Coz GL has mentioned before that they were not receptive about this whole relationship initially. Plus, last time GL hugged her mom-in-law deliberately while mom-in-law had offerred a handshake. So really, if this time too she takes a gift and acts Very friendly, they might think she is going overboard when they're not even reciprocating.
That's why I said GL really needs to see what vibes they're sending and act accordingly. At the max, take flowers. Should behave on the nicer side but not overly nice. At all times though, be respectful and cordial.
Re: Gori finally meeting the new Pakistani inlaws to be… gift?
Perfect :k:
Nothing to add to that. 
Re: Gori finally meeting the new Pakistani inlaws to be... gift?
i dont think you need to bring a big gift - not at all.
And you said you're a good baker, so obviously you wont be using those duncan hines mixes. I suggest you bake the cake yourself and tell them so. It's not cheap at all. I find it more sincere and personal, better than going to highland farms at the last minute and getting a cake. You could even write "Ramadan Mubarak" on the cake as well.
Wearing shalwar kameez is great! always a good touch.
Just some advice - try to minimize or hold off any PDA at their house. Sit with his mother more and converse with her. Even when you greet her, give her a hug. You already won over the man's heart, now try to do the same with his mother - you're in, inshallah!
Re: Gori finally meeting the new Pakistani inlaws to be... gift?
Don't get an Islamic gift, its too soon!
Re: Gori finally meeting the new Pakistani inlaws to be... gift?
She's going for an iftaar...nothing wrong with writing Ramadan Mubarak.