Something that has not yet been discussed but probably should be, is looks. How important are looks for you when choosing your life partner? Another thing, why is it that often we see that people who are good looking have no problems when it comes to proposals…despite their personality. however people who may have good personalities but are not so good looking don’t get many, if any, proposals. Often girls who are not getting any proposals are not getting them because of their looks, its not like these girls have bad personalities. Why is this is the case? Will we ever move on? Whats your opnion, do we still live in a society that worships good looks? or have people moved on? Any experiences , stories.
I actually don’t think its about the goodlooks only, its the complete package. Nowadays what people want is that the girl be pretty but along with that super confident and literally street smart. However when these same girl get married, their husband and inlaws have issues with their smartness :halo:.
I have seen quite a few pretty girls not getting good rishtas only because they are innoncent, sharmeli types and people nowadays take it as a negative.
Looks does not seem to be very important in love marriages. I have seen a lot of very good looking guys falling for average girls just because they have formed good understanding with them. I usually see husbands more good looking as compared to their wives in love marriages which leave me thinking: "inhain aakhir kia nazar aya hai is bandi main?" :p
In arranged marriages, it is usually the other way round. We usually see the wives more gorgeous as compared to their husbands. This may be because the moms and sisters are in charge in arranged marriages and they try to look for "chand si bahu" for them and "hoor pari" for their sons/ brothers.
I think personality is more important. I know a couple of girls who are dead gorgrous. But when they speak, all their paindoo-ness is evident. As ZK said, it should be a complete package. Looks can be ignored but personality shouldn't be.
You can judge the looks of a person by looking at them, personality you can't. You can fake personality, not looks. Once you actually start living with that person, only then you learn/discover their real personality. So yeah, if you risk ending up with a *****, at least make sure she is good looking.
Agree, with above replies. See espically when it comes to arranged marriages the girl has to meet all these standards, this is unfair. The looks part especailly, being white , slim , blah blah...looks dont last we all get wrinkles. I think society on the whole it quite shallow. As for love marriages yes I agree that does happen when one is really good looking and the other might not be. Then again people tend to fall in love with "good looking" people. Again I think society has a big role to play, most people are looking for someone whose extremely attractive like so and so on tv or someone whose a certain height , colour etc. Personality is whats usually neglected when that's what's important, that's what usually lasts.
You can judge the looks of a person by looking at them, personality you can't. You can fake personality, not looks. Once you actually start living with that person, only then you learn/discover their real personality. So yeah, if you risk ending up with a *****, at least make sure she is good looking.
No one these days end up marrying a person just by looking at them or at their pics for a few times. People do tend to spend sometime with their prospective spouses before getting married even in arranged settings. I don't think you can fake the way you speak to elders, the way you talk to children, the way eat/ drink etc. You get to know much about a person's personality before marriage. For true nature and behaviour of the person, you have to spend the life with him/ her. But personality is visible even after just one meeting with a person.
No one these days end up marrying a person just by looking at them or at their pics for a few times. People do tend to spend sometime with their prospective spouses before getting married even in arranged settings. I don't think you can fake the way you speak to elders, the way you talk to children, the way eat/ drink etc. You get to know much about a person's personality before marriage. For true nature and behaviour of the person, you have to spend the life with him/ her. But personality is visible even after just one meeting with a person.
People do marry people just after looking at them and meeting them once. In desi rishta scene, I haven't seen anyone spending time with their prospective trying to judge their personality, heck even trying to see if they even have anything in common. And it is quite normal and quite common for people to fake the way they act and behave in front of others, if you haven't come across such people, well you need to get out more. Like I said before, you have to actually live with a person to properly discover their real personality.
^nothing! But someones good looks don't make up for their bad personality . So even if their are good looking but turn out to be a horrible person, the good looks don't make up for it.
People do marry people just after looking at them and meeting them once. In desi rishta scene, I haven't seen anyone spending time with their prospective trying to judge their personality, heck even trying to see if they even have anything in common. And it is quite normal and quite common for people to fake the way they act and behave in front of others, if you haven't come across such people, well you need to get out more. Like I said before, you have to actually live with a person to properly discover their real personality.
You are right. But this usually happens in arranged process. There is no wrong in marrying a good looking person. However, if you know a girl from say your workplace and you are impressed with her, the way she talks, her respectable manners etc, but she is not very good looking, I think you should go ahead with proposing that girl rather than ignoring her just because she lacks good looks.
Yes, in the arranged process, guys tend to go for good looking girls and are encouraged to do so by their moms and sisters.
^nothing! But someones good looks don't make up for their bad personality . So even if their are good looking but turn out to be a horrible person, the good looks don't make up for it.
I think we are confusing between a person's nature and personality. Nature/ behaviour means the way a person conducts himself overall, his morals, his bad habits (lying, talking bad about people etc) which we can only get to know after marriage.
Personality means the way he interacts with other and the way he presents himself to the public which we can easily get to know even in one meeting. I remember a girl at a dinner who was very pretty but I just coudn't see the way she was having her dinner. This is one aspect of personality and you don't need to live with a person with such explicit evidences of personality.
I think we are confusing between a person's nature and personality. Nature/ behaviour means the way a person conducts himself overall, his morals, his bad habits (lying, talking bad about people etc) which we can only get to know after marriage.
Personality means the way he interacts with other and the way he presents himself to the public which we can easily get to know even in one meeting. I remember a girl at a dinner who was very pretty but I just coudn't see the way she was having her dinner. This is one aspect of personality and you don't need to live with a person with such explicit evidences of personality.
hmm maybe we are. But both a good personality and a good nature and more important then good looks. However, I agree to an extent the only that maybe we the only thing we are certain about before marriage is a person's good looks, the nature and personality are something we only really get to know after marriage-in an arranged marriage setting. When it comes to "falling in love with someone" , i think we have the time to work out the nature/personality of the person.
what i was trying to say is , that someone's looks don't make up for their bad personality.
being attractive and being attracted to someone are two different things
you can be attracted to someone who doesn't fit the standard definition of "attractive" while you can find someone attractive without being attracted to them.
I think in all marriages there has to be a mutual attraction. As for people who only go for good looking girls or guys and pass up the potential rishtas with personality who may not be as attractive, those potentials can do better.
Looks does not seem to be very important in love marriages. I have seen a lot of very good looking guys falling for average girls just because they have formed good understanding with them. I usually see husbands more good looking as compared to their wives in love marriages which leave me thinking: "inhain aakhir kia nazar aya hai is bandi main?" :p
In arranged marriages, it is usually the other way round. We usually see the wives more gorgeous as compared to their husbands. This may be because the moms and sisters are in charge in arranged marriages and they try to look for "chand si bahu" for them and "hoor pari" for their sons/ brothers.
I think personality is more important. I know a couple of girls who are dead gorgrous. But when they speak, all their paindoo-ness is evident. As ZK said, it should be a complete package. Looks can be ignored but personality shouldn't be.
