Re: Gold on Wedding
The funny part here is that if you think it is so ridiculous why would you take time out to respond? Makes no sense
Easy now. It's an friendly discussion- all opinions are welcome ;)
Re: Gold on Wedding
Re: your last point, because the bride looks nice wearing a gold set on her big day hence why she receives it as opposed to just money.
I didn't have expectations from my in laws BUT they did for me exactly what they did for their own daughters and if they are going to call me their daughter so they should!
You can't really tell if it's real gold or not nowadays tho, can you? She can still wear a beautiful gold plated set or an heirloom set passed down by mom, mil or grandmothers, and look bridal, if you will.
Its nice that your inlaws did for you what they did for their girls. I hope you also treat them like your parents as you expect them to treat you like their daughter :)
Re: Gold on Wedding
With the rising cost of gold, I too, have been wondering if the next generation will do weddings without it. Can you imagine how shocked some of our parents would be to know that we won't be gifting gold to their grandchildren.
It is easier said than done to stand up to parents who firmly adhere to the traditional rules though they are not encouraged by Islam. I know this as I've an upcoming family wedding. It can be really hard to convince parents that you don't want gold or that you want things done with saadagi. One can try their darndest but it can be an uphill battle. In the end, a compromise has to be reached. That said, I think that whether a bride wore gold or didn't on her wedding day...let's respect and not judge...because we don't know the circumstances behind those decisions.
What I mean is that let's say one did their own wedding with saadagi....maybe little to no gold jewelrey, etc.......and they attend the wedding of a relative or a friend who is decked out in gold jewelry and had a comparatively more lavish wedding.......it's natural for that person to either verbally express a "tsk tsk" or they may stay quiet and think the "tsk tsk tsk" in their mind/heart......but they may not know the circumstances behind the wedding. Perhaps bride wanted something simpler but had to compromise with the wishes of her family and in-laws. For some individuals, it's an easier battle to fight than is is for others. The best thing is just to give sincere dua for the newly-weds.
A person gets whatever Allah has destined for them. If it is in a bride's kismat to be given gold...then MashaAllah....she should then thank Allah for the blessing and be mindful that she has to pay zakat on it every year; so it will be of benefit to to the less fortunate...and to make dua that it be easy to pay the yearly zakkat as that in and of itself can be be difficult for some people.
Re: Gold on Wedding
The funny part here is that if you think it is so ridiculous why would you take time out to respond? Makes no sense
Because I find the passion with which you seem to be discussing gold......entertaining. So I am entertaining myself.
Now, tell me why gold is so important to you?
Do you not have enough of your own? Can't your parents afford to give you gold? And why aren't you capable of buying your own? Why would you demand it from others if you're not greedy? Sorry, but its as if you've never seen it before or something...weird. For people who have, its not a priority.
Its silly.
Gold. If its given as a gift...is a gift...not a birthright. If you have it, great. If not, no biggie. Life goes on.
Re: Gold on Wedding
Oh and its justified of her to make comments about my family? She’s a tosser.
Re: Gold on Wedding
It's just as I had said in my last post as I could sense the tension. We all have our preferences and we have to merge them with the beliefs of our families and that of the person we're marrying. So, rather than make unsavory assumptions/remarks about each others characters and belief systems and families and personal lives, why not just stick to the questions asked. Op, you like gold....fine. So, do many people; you're not alone. Are you already married? If so, the wedding is over and done with, so baat khatam. If you're happy with what your parents and in-laws gave you, then MashaAllah that's great; may you always remain content, Amin. Just know that if your gold is above the nisab a ount, you or your husband must pay yearly zakat on it. As for whether or not other people do gold chooriyan on the wedding days or not.....un ki apni marzi. Whether they do or don't will have no bearing on our lives; hamari zaat pe koi asar nahi hoga. What matters is that the people are compatible and happy with the rishta, bas. Don't insult people for their divorces...because I know cases where people gave give "taana" for various things and they end up eating their words because Allah puts them through the same situation. So, be careful.
Re: Gold on Wedding
I'll be honest some of the new age stuff is not attractive but then neither is that yellow gold. Whatever floats the bride's boat and matches the outfit is important.
Thank goodness the gold jewellery designs that are passed down generation to generation in my family are very light and tasteful. I don't think the tradition would have survived if everything had been tacky.
Re: Gold on Wedding
On a side note, regardless of whether you want to wear gold or not or feel it should be part of the trousseau or not, from an investment perspective it makes much more sense than anything else.
i understand if you want to spend the money on holidays or houses etc, but if you want to invest the money in something and save for a rainy day, definitely go with gold (tablets or jewellery).
if the recession has taught is anything it is that gold, unlike properties or monetary assets, is immune to economic fluctuations. Historically economies have always reverted to the gold standard in times of economic hardship. Property prices will sink, bank savings will disappear into thin air.
But it gold rides out the storm every time.
Re: Gold on Wedding
On a side note, regardless of whether you want to wear gold or not or feel it should be part of the trousseau or not, from an investment perspective it makes much more sense than anything else.
i understand if you want to spend the money on holidays or houses etc, but if you want to invest the money in something and save for a rainy day, definitely go with gold (tablets or jewellery).
if the recession has taught is anything it is that gold, unlike properties or monetary assets, is immune to economic fluctuations. Historically economies have always reverted to the gold standard in times of economic hardship. Property prices will sink, bank savings will disappear into thin air.
But it gold rides out the storm every time.
exactly, its all about personal preference, if u can afford it and like it, its a great investment
some people prefer to spend money on other things instead of having gold sitting around but me personally likes gold and think its good to have sitting around in times of need or for your children...i dont think anything is as classy and royal as yellow gold kadas, bangles, haars...but again, some people do not beleive in "wasting" money on jewlery.....there is a reason gold has a value
Re: Gold on Wedding
I think it's very backwards to be stuck on gold. Pleaseeeeeee, let's move on already.
same way anyone else can make comments abt something you like and think is of great value, so lets learn to be tolerant with each other and understand differences
Re: Gold on Wedding
On a side note, regardless of whether you want to wear gold or not or feel it should be part of the trousseau or not, from an investment perspective it makes much more sense than anything else.
i understand if you want to spend the money on holidays or houses etc, but if you want to invest the money in something and save for a rainy day, definitely go with gold (tablets or jewellery).
if the recession has taught is anything it is that gold, unlike properties or monetary assets, is immune to economic fluctuations. Historically economies have always reverted to the gold standard in times of economic hardship. Property prices will sink, bank savings will disappear into thin air.
But it gold rides out the storm every time.
Depends on your location....my real estate investments have only appreciated...IMO it's a much better investment that is slow and steady and is already generating income whereas my gold is not.
edit
I just wanted to add there is a huge difference between pure gold bars/coins/biscuits and jewelry, from an investment point of view. Anyone who has ever traded in, exchanged or sold knows how much you lose once they minus out labor, finishings, gem stones, slight mixing to make 22K etc. So purely from the investment point of you, unless you're buying only the pure stuff in bars or coins and won't be making jewlery, I still believe a proper, well thought out real estate portfolio is a more sound investment
same way anyone else can make comments abt something you like and think is of great value, so lets learn to be tolerant with each other and understand differences
This entire thread is based on intolerance. The point this thread is making is: "oh em gee...why doesn't everyone else want to wear a mere ten tolay sona like me? What's wrong with people these days? Why don't girls demand gold like it's the last thing left? Come on, I deserve to be adorned with gold because...because...because..." No reason seems legitimate enough to fit in that sentence...so let's just leave it blank.
Live and let live doesn't work for everyone. Unfortunately these are the girls who end up having sons and then go around demanding jahaiz and muft ki dawatein at girls' homes.
And I guess in certain circles, its okay to demand, want and pine for these things. But not in mine. Its seen as...hmm...well...a warning sign. :)
Re: Gold on Wedding
to be honest if I win the lottery tomorrow..i will buy loads of kundan gold jewellery! so classy.
but what i dont like gold enough to be 'forced' to pay thousands of 3 just for people's sake.
Re: Gold on Wedding
Depends on your location....my real estate investments have only appreciated...IMO it's a much better investment that is slow and steady and is already generating income whereas my gold is not.
edit
I just wanted to add there is a huge difference between pure gold bars/coins/biscuits and jewelry, from an investment point of view. Anyone who has ever traded in, exchanged or sold knows how much you lose once they minus out labor, finishings, gem stones, slight mixing to make 22K etc. So purely from the investment point of you, unless you're buying only the pure stuff in bars or coins and won't be making jewlery, I still believe a proper, well thought out real estate portfolio is a more sound investment
like I said, each to their own. I specifically mentioned tablets to circumvent what you quite rightly pointed out as the problems of attaining value with jewellery based gold.
but on a serious note, I would still argue that gold is a much much safer option than property. As the grand daughter of people who fled across the Indian border with nothing but the clothes on their back, and gold as the only portable assets in their pockets back in 1947. As someone who has witnessed hard working people who sunk large savings into what were promised to be extremely lucrative property developments in UAE, only to have their investments turn into ashes post recession. As someone who doesn't live close to an area proven to have historically immune property sites. I would personally stick to gold. I never wear the stuff, but my mum (whose entire family inheritance was lost through corruption when her father died, and only gold remained when all their land was gone) would never have been able to leave Pakistan or send myself and my sisters to the very best schools in the country without a few gold tablets her mother gave her, which accrued value far more swiftly than anything else she owned.
Property can be a wonderful investment but you just have to be very careful and pray that nothing economically or politically disastrous happens in your lifetime to ruin it!
I suppose that's why, as I have stated earlier, economies revert to gold standard and not land.
[quote="khattichic, post:53, topic:320871"]
Depends on your location....my real estate investments have only appreciated...IMO it's a much better investment that is slow and steady and is already generating income whereas my gold is not.
edit
I just wanted to add there is a huge difference between pure gold bars/coins/biscuits and jewelry, from an investment point of view. Anyone who has ever traded in, exchanged or sold knows how much you lose once they minus out labor, finishings, gem stones, slight mixing to make 22K etc. So purely from the investment point of you, unless you're buying only the pure stuff in bars or coins and won't be making jewlery, I still believe a proper, well thought out real estate portfolio is a more sound investment
like I said, each to their own. I specifically mentioned tablets to circumvent what you quite rightly pointed out as the problems of attaining value with jewellery based gold.
but on a serious note, I would still argue that gold is a much much safer option than property. As the grand daughter of people who fled across the Indian border with nothing but the clothes on their back, and gold as the only portable assets in their pockets back in 1947. As someone who has witnessed hard working people who sunk large savings into what were promised to be extremely lucrative property developments in UAE, only to have their investments turn into ashes post recession. As someone who doesn't live close to an area proven to have historically immune property sites. I would personally stick to gold. I never wear the stuff, but my mum (whose entire family inheritance was lost through corruption when her father died, and only gold remained when all their land was gone) would never have been able to leave Pakistan or send myself and my sisters to the very best schools in the country without a few gold tablets her mother gave her, which accrued value far more swiftly than anything else she owned.
Property can be a wonderful investment but you just have to be very careful and pray that nothing economically or politically disastrous happens in your lifetime to ruin it!
I suppose that's why, as I have stated earlier, economies revert to gold standard and not land.
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My family also lost all their property and land during and after Partition, so what is your point? That was a historically tragic event, but really is way out of context to what is being discussed here. You can't compare the division of a subcontinent to investing in rental properties.
I am a real estate professional, have been for the past 10 years. I make my living helping people buy, sells and invest in real estate. Where I live, the smartest thing you can do is to invest in solid rental properties, and I'm proud to say I've done the same
I don't have to worry about how I'm going to pay for my kids college education or how I would support them if god forbid something happened to my husband...selling off my gold would only sustain me for maybe 6 months or a year at most ..my real estate holdings will for a lifetime.
Re: Gold on Wedding
What you and khatti are talking about makes sense though ^
What doesn't make sense is the need for gold...as a supposed status symbol or how its a girl's right to obtain gold from her parents and inlaws.
Re: Gold on Wedding
woho! people can be so stubborn here.
Why don't you guys agree to disagree? i mean the bottom line is we all tend to favor what we think would work better for us. Whether its gold for some or property for the other. So let's just learn to respect that.
There is no need to look down on people who may have a thing for gold, its a personal choice. Who are you to judge them? As long as its coming out of their pocket, why the concern?
Lastly, i think yes the trend is changing now...from the weddings i have been too (limited) and the pix i see here and there, i see the gold sets seemingly look less chunky HOWEVER that also has to do with the change in trends. More and more people are wanting to go for the decent, minimalistic look! Many a times these sets actually cost about same because their lack of weight is actually compensated in their making. THAT IS...unique design= double making! And last but not the least, obviously with the gold having gone so high in couple of years, the average person obviously faces constrains in buying it in amount they would have bought in the earlier years.
In my opinion, something that you use like your jewellery is quite hard to give away. Maybe a property would be easier to use during hard times? Just my guess.
Re: Gold on Wedding
So I’m one of those who likes my gold. I think it’s pretty 
I don’t particularly see it as an investment as such but I can see the thought of process there. Anyway, when I got married I wore gold chooriyan on one wrist and gold karey/kadey (sp?) on the other and I was gifted a lot of gold (I’m not going to mention the amount :halo: ) from both sides and I cherish it. There were heirloom items as well as new things. Till this day I would rather buy one gold ring than 3-4 artificial rings because gold is just better in quality IMO.
I agree with Zareen above, gold doesn’t really mean chunky yellow crap. You can get some really beautiful delicate items made if you’re willing to pay enough. I’ve found some of my most cherished stuff in Dubai, it’s just 
Re: Gold on Wedding
My family also lost all their property and land during and after Partition, so what is your point? That was a historically tragic event, but really is way out of context to what is being discussed here. You can't compare the division of a subcontinent to investing in rental properties.
I am a real estate professional, have been for the past 10 years. I make my living helping people buy, sells and invest in real estate. Where I live, the smartest thing you can do is to invest in solid rental properties, and I'm proud to say I've done the same
I don't have to worry about how I'm going to pay for my kids college education or how I would support them if god forbid something happened to my husband...selling off my gold would only sustain me for maybe 6 months or a year at most ..my real estate holdings will for a lifetime.
ok I will keep my point very simple so as to not cause any further confusion.
gold is a safer investment than property. The whole of history is testament to this. I'm glad you have done well for yourself but it would be misleading to suggest that property investment even comes anywhere near as close to safety of investing in gold. Which never loses its value. Never.
Anyway, each to their own.
Re: Gold on Wedding
yes. to each their own.
