I am noticing an emerging trend on recent weddings where gold given to the bride seems to be phasing out/reducing. Now I understand that the increasing price of gold is making it difficult for families to give as much as they could some years back but I am also noticing this trend with families who are in very good financial positions. Why is this the case? Could it be because girls in western countries simply don’t wear it and hence it’s considered wasteful? To the married girls, what were you given in gold on your weddings? Especially in relation to churiyen, did you wear gold churiyen on your big day or not? To me the gold bangles are a must have on a bride but I am seeing more and more non-gold churiyen around.
Re: Gold on Wedding
Yes, I wore gold on one hand and glass/metal churiyan on the other.
I don't think I've yet seen a bride without some sort of real gold on her wrists.....
Re: Gold on Wedding
It is our perception that "xyz thing" is must have on a bride, or on a groom, or in a wedding. People should (1) look at their means what they can easily afford without burning their backs, (2) personal preference (if they don't want to wear gold, it is okay! They are not going against Quran. This pretty much holds true for everything we think is must have in our Desi weddings).
Re: Gold on Wedding
Same
I went to this wedding where the bride wore a tiny necklace n everyone was like why znt d necklace bridal?
Dats just a really the brides wish actually. She can wear whatever she wants, its HER big day after all
Re: Gold on Wedding
i guess and hope we will be the last generation to 'have' to wear some real gold pieces at our wedding. I dislike gold to the fullest but still had to do it for my parents , in laws and all the aunties sake.
I accepted to wear the tiniest gold set ever seen :P. All happy. I have gold on me but it isnt noticable
My daughter should have it easy...and me too...unless she wants diamonds mala !!!
Re: Gold on Wedding
I'd rather have that money and use it on an awesome honeymoon or a downpayment on a house. Gold is pricey and totally not worth it living in the west where weddings and Eid are fairly low key affairs if you attend as a guest. Plus whatever happened to wearing heirloom family sets passed down from nani's and dadi's? Those are made so much better and the designs are gorgeous and the kind of workmanship you just don't find anymore. I wore my moms Jarao lachha and gold chooriyan and I just bought a matching gold plated teeka. I've since worn the Jarao lachha and chooris again but not the teeka so I'm super glad I didn't spend more than a couple hundred bucks on it.
You're very right. Ppl just get artificial sets made, and those don't come cheap too. In Pakistan ppl don't wear gold on Shaadis because of the fear of getting robbed. (from what I've heard)
In western countries, I feel that brides these days are not too interested in real gold. They do like heavy stuff but getting a big heavy set in gold may cost 4000-5000$! Rather get it artificial at $500.
I was at this popular Indian jewellery store a few months back and they had the most amazing pair of gold and polki earrings with pearls, rubies and emerald hanging. It cost $7000 approx!! So expensive! But the sales guy told me that 6-7 pieces were already sold! So hey ppl do buy gold still. But honestly, those earrings can be copied in silver or gold played and artificial stones for $150-$200 and still look amazing. I loved them though! They were dazzling! :)
That being said, even my mom prefers if brides wear gold. InshaAllah when my sisters and I get married, we will be wearing mom's shaadi sets and her previously bought sets. I doubt I will want to spend money to make any thing new, except gold bangles in my size.
When I discussed gold with my Khala, she told me that girls these days rather spend that money on a car, house down payments, and a gd branded handbag. Makes sense, I guess! Girls in their 20s and the upcoming generation don't go hawww haaye and all judgemental if dulhans don't wear gold. Personally, I love seeing bridal sets, in shops or on brides!
Gold on Wedding
Historically/and or traditionally, gold was seen as an insurance/savings for daughters to have in hard times and also as a status symbol of sorts. I think that is one of the social norms that has changed with the generations settled and raised abroad. Girls, and parents I think and now more inclined to spend that money on education,especially if student loans are in play. I totally agree that I'd rather put that money towards a down payment on a house, especially with the astronomical cost of gold these days. My cousins who are in their 20's and all in marriageable age/range could care less about gold and jewelry lol....it just doesn't have the same importance anymore.
Re: Gold on Wedding
I'd rather have that money and use it on an awesome honeymoon or a downpayment on a house. Gold is pricey and totally not worth it living in the west where weddings and Eid are fairly low key affairs if you attend as a guest. Plus whatever happened to wearing heirloom family sets passed down from nani's and dadi's? Those are made so much better and the designs are gorgeous and the kind of workmanship you just don't find anymore. I wore my moms Jarao lachha and gold chooriyan and I just bought a matching gold plated teeka. I've since worn the Jarao lachha and chooris again but not the teeka so I'm super glad I didn't spend more than a couple hundred bucks on it.
i would disagree, whether living in the west or pak i feel like gold has its own charm on the wedding day and to each their own, but i think its a great investment as well if affordable offcourse by the brides family
Re: Gold on Wedding
^ The affordability is what is in question though, and thankfully as khatti said, girls these days prefer to put that money towards more practical investments than tying them up into sets. But as you said, to each their own. At least the pressure on families and parents is easing up now that wearing gold plated sets is slowly becoming the norm.
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But for all those girls who don't seem to mind either way, don't you see gold as YOUR present/gift from in-laws and parents? Personally I would have been cut if my in laws hadn't gotten it for me (parents would have regardless). Fair enough I only wore my shaadi set once and the karas only a couple of times but still...
Having said that though my parents got karas (6.5 tolas for MIL) and a gold set for each of my 3 SIL on our wedding so had my in laws gone artificial for me I would have been annoyed.
Re: Gold on Wedding
But for all those girls who don't seem to mind either way, don't you see gold as YOUR present/gift from in-laws and parents? Personally I would have been cut if my in laws hadn't gotten it for me (parents would have regardless). Fair enough I only wore my shaadi set once and the karas only a couple of times but still...
Having said that though my parents got karas (6.5 tolas for MIL) and a gold set for each of my 3 SIL on our wedding so had my in laws gone artificial for me I would have been annoyed.
Neither my family, nor my husband's family does laina/daina or the giving of gold to inlaws so no, it wouldn't have been an issue for me. As it is, I got very little from my husband on my wedding, only one set that was about 55 grams and the teeka, as he was still in college when we married and couldn't afford more. I got plenty from my Ammi, and even that I didn't really want lol.
What mattered more to me was that my husband and I bought our first home right after our first year of marriage, by our 5th anniversary I had more jewelry that he had bought me, and by our 10th anniversary even more jewelry then I knew what to do with and 2 investment properties. The jewelry is collecting dust in a bank safe deposit box while my investment properties are generating income.
I guess I personally just don't feel an attachment to gold/jewelry..I'd rather spend that money on expanding our real estate investment portfolios and traveling.
Re: Gold on Wedding
i would disagree, whether living in the west or pak i feel like gold has its own charm on the wedding day and to each their own, but i think its a great investment as well if affordable offcourse by the brides family
^ The affordability is what is in question though, and thankfully as khatti said, girls these days prefer to put that money towards more practical investments than tying them up into sets. But as you said, to each their own. At least the pressure on families and parents is easing up now that wearing gold plated sets is slowly becoming the norm.
Affordability is the key word here. When I got married, gold was $238/oz...today's rate is $1275/oz....that's crazy!!! I agree that to each their own, but I'm also with sgc on this one, it's great the pressure is easing up on those who can't afford and that it's no longer a stigma to wear a plated set on the wedding.
Re: Gold on Wedding
I'd rather have that money and use it on an awesome honeymoon or a downpayment on a house. Gold is pricey and totally not worth it living in the west where weddings and Eid are fairly low key affairs if you attend as a guest. Plus whatever happened to wearing heirloom family sets passed down from nani's and dadi's? Those are made so much better and the designs are gorgeous and the kind of workmanship you just don't find anymore. I wore my moms Jarao lachha and gold chooriyan and I just bought a matching gold plated teeka. I've since worn the Jarao lachha and chooris again but not the teeka so I'm super glad I didn't spend more than a couple hundred bucks on it.
I LOVE my jarao lacha passed down to me from my ammi....complete with karanphool! It's true khandaani Hydro jewelry. That to me is more precious then lots of gold. I love the heirloom factor like you said...they don't make 'em like that anymore.
Re: Gold on Wedding
But for all those girls who don't seem to mind either way, don't you see gold as YOUR present/gift from in-laws and parents? Personally I would have been cut if my in laws hadn't gotten it for me (parents would have regardless). Fair enough I only wore my shaadi set once and the karas only a couple of times but still...
Having said that though my parents got karas (6.5 tolas for MIL) and a gold set for each of my 3 SIL on our wedding so had my in laws gone artificial for me I would have been annoyed.
But that's where the pressure to buy comes in, doesn't it? What if your inlaws couldn't afford to give you something of the same calibre as your own parents bought you? Would you have refused to marry your husband? Of course not, right? That's silly. I find the concept of expectations tied into gift giving, esp when the gifts are so expensive, to be really bothersome. Give gifts because you want to and you can, with generosity of spirit, and not with an expectation of a similar return. That just takes away from the spirit of gift giving, I feel, no?
Plus, if they can, I don't see why the inlaws couldn't give money as your gift instead of gold? That's what grooms
get, isn't it, as salaami?
Re: Gold on Wedding
But that's where the pressure to buy comes in, doesn't it? What if your inlaws couldn't afford to give you something of the same calibre as your own parents bought you? Would you have refused to marry your husband? Of course not, right? That's silly. I find the concept of expectations tied into gift giving, esp when the gifts are so expensive, to be really bothersome. Give gifts because you want to and you can, with generosity of spirit, and not with an expectation of a similar return. That just takes away from the spirit of gift giving, I feel, no?
Plus, if they can, I don't see why the inlaws couldn't give money as your gift instead of gold? That's what grooms get, isn't it, as salaami?
This exactly!!! I wish I could triple like this post!
I think it's very backwards to be stuck on gold. Pleaseeeeeee, let's move on already.
Re: Gold on Wedding
Yes! My moms set has the Karan phool too! 
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Re: Gold on Wedding
I think it's very backwards to be stuck on gold. Pleaseeeeeee, let's move on already.
The funny part here is that if you think it is so ridiculous why would you take time out to respond? Makes no sense
Re: Gold on Wedding
But that's where the pressure to buy comes in, doesn't it? What if your inlaws couldn't afford to give you something of the same calibre as your own parents bought you? Would you have refused to marry your husband? Of course not, right? That's silly. I find the concept of expectations tied into gift giving, esp when the gifts are so expensive, to be really bothersome. Give gifts because you want to and you can, with generosity of spirit, and not with an expectation of a similar return. That just takes away from the spirit of gift giving, I feel, no?
Plus, if they can, I don't see why the inlaws couldn't give money as your gift instead of gold? That's what grooms get, isn't it, as salaami?
Re: your last point, because the bride looks nice wearing a gold set on her big day hence why she receives it as opposed to just money.
I didn't have expectations from my in laws BUT they did for me exactly what they did for their own daughters and if they are going to call me their daughter so they should!