Re: Going makeup free
**EXACTLY. You have to actually BEHOLD or SEE the person’s looks to be able to comment so confidently on their physical appearance. You start off your response with this cliche quotation in which one’s opinion of a person’s looks depends upon their visual faculties…upon making a judgment after actually SEEING the person…but then you veer off to “imagining” the beauty of a person through their writing.
If one smiles at compliments and blushes at compliments we can tell that this person has a jovial character and great mesmerizing personality.
**Nope. Mesmerizing is too intense of a word. I doubt that many people would equate smiling and blushing at a compliment to having a “mesmerizing personality.” It may be said that the person is cheerful, or receives a compliment with confidence, or feels awkward/shy about the compliment. But these two acts alone don’t…at least in my opinion…equate to having a mesmerizing personality.
This will get translated into beauty in the eye of this beholder at the least. Dark circles/birth spots or beauty spots, who decides? Blesmishes/scars or markers of life/character? Colour/length of hair, skin colour don’t have to translate into beauty and neither do proportion of facial features or height/weight. Some people find shorter people better looking and others tall people. Some find skinny people good looking and in other countries those with more weight are seen as better looking. Sure there are extremes in either side. I find if you like someone’s words, their personality and if you can relate to them you will find them beautiful no matter if you have not seen them yet.
**Yes, physical beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Some people like shorter individuals and others prefer taller ones and bla bla bla. But the fact remains that the subjective opinions are formed after SEEING the individual in person or perhaps an actual photograph of them. What you’re doing is stretching a connection between writing and their looks. It’s a stretch. A bigger stretch than physical beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
**Have you asked yourself why it’s not accepted by many? It’s not necessary that others should agree with your views. But think about it. Generally speaking, people are more accepting of compliments that have a degree of objectivity in them. I know that sounds like an oxymoron thing to say when compliments are opinions and therefore subjective. But what I mean is that let’s say that you were to compliment someone on their writing. Although others might not like the writing, the writer will appreciate the comment because they know that you have actuallyread their work. A person is more likely to be flattered by a compliment on their looks if the praiser has actually seen their face. Without doing so, it reads as excessive, ott, ingenuine, may even produce feelings of awkwardness.
I did not mention hoor or pari or apsara because I’ve never met one so I don’t know how they look like.
**Exactly. Just as you haven’t met the posters in real life and so you don’t know what they look like to so confidently attribute some sort of epithet to their looks.
**Yup. Savera. That’s ALL you have to go by. You’re very limited.
************Some members do describe themselves and i do take their words to mean that since they match their writing. I am sorry for not taking your words seriously about the circles. You know more than me obviously about your looks. I’ve just heard this comment about dark circles by many desi girls and i feel sometimes they under-estimate themselves. Of course unless i see you i cannot make a judgment. I didn’t mean to downplay your own views of your dark circles.
I do feel you can tell how someone is from their writing. Perhaps i should compliment words and personalities instead of physical. Some can say you can’t tell someone’s personality by looking at words you need to have a conversation. I think that’s stretching it as well. for example when i read Jolie’s words i feel like she has a royal presence about her befitting a Punjabi princess of past. I can’t not think of that impression once that impression is made in my mind. There were a few posts that suggested it so that’s why i made the link.
I will be mindful not to make such deductions in future.
i don’t ask that it is accepted by many. It’s just the way i think. I don’t really talk that much about appearances. Most of the time it is about other less superficial things.
Perhaps rather than commenting on appearance and dark circles, it would be better if i say that i like how your long messages are thorough, wise and flow well. They indicate you are logical, systematic and have an eye for fine detail. Would that seem more appropriate, respectful and less bollywood-intense?