One of my ex-colleagues posted this question on his Facebook wall and I got really curious about what our GS men and women thought…
First date should be pay for yourself or should the guy be expected to foot the bill?
Re: Going Dutch or is Chivalry Still Alive?
Some think that it sort of....demasculates....the guy if the girl pays.
Re: Going Dutch or is Chivalry Still Alive?
I only ever do coffee dates and only one guy has made me pay for my own coffee. £2.25
Re: Going Dutch or is Chivalry Still Alive?
A guy should pay the bill. Its only decency. Also, first date should be in a moderate restaurant, not high end, so it wont bite him once the bill comes.
Re: Going Dutch or is Chivalry Still Alive?
First date should be pay for yourself or should the guy be expected to foot the bill?
When I first started dating my fiance, I almost always OFFERED to pay (yes, I even offered on the first date). He insisted on paying and did not allow me to pay....but he did appreciate that I at least offered. Now that we're "together", there are times I insist on paying when we're out. And there are even times when I take him out on a "date".
One of the biggest complaints I hear from my guy friends (and DF's friends) is that girls never even OFFER to pay. A friend of his recently flew to a different city for 4 days to spend an extended weekend w/ a girl he recently started dating (both desis). Between the flight, hotel room, lunches/dinners, show tickets etc.....the guy spent over $1000 for those few days. He even took the girl shopping and bought her a almost $500 Kate Spade purse. Yet according to him....not one single time the entire weekend did the girl even OFFER to pay for anything. It's not that he doesn't have the money to pay for it all....but it made him feel like she didn't appreciate or recognize all that he was doing for her. It gave him the impression that she felt entitled to it.
Maybe it's just me....but I think the girl should at the least offer to pay.
Re: Going Dutch or is Chivalry Still Alive?
My girlfriend pays about 30-40% of the time. I love it.
Re: Going Dutch or is Chivalry Still Alive?
A friend of his recently flew to a different city for 4 days to spend an extended weekend w/ a girl he recently started dating (both desis). Between the flight, hotel room, lunches/dinners, show tickets etc.....the guy spent over $1000 for those few days. He even took the girl shopping and bought her a almost $500 Kate Spade purse. Yet according to him....not one single time the entire weekend did the girl even OFFER to pay for anything. It's not that he doesn't have the money to pay for it all....but it made him feel like she didn't appreciate or recognize all that he was doing for her. It gave him the impression that she felt entitled to it.
Bwahahahaha! Well he can't spend all that money on her and expect her to offer. Sounds like he's trying to hard really.
Re: Going Dutch or is Chivalry Still Alive?
I only ever do coffee dates and only one guy has made me pay for my own coffee. £2.25
That is pathetic. I could understand if it was a large bill and he decided to split but making a girl pay for a couple of quid is rubbish!
Re: Going Dutch or is Chivalry Still Alive?
Bwahahahaha! Well he can't spend all that money on her and expect her to offer. Sounds like he's trying to hard really.
No...he wasn't "trying hard". She lives in a different state so in order for him to spend a few days with her there...of course he has to spend $ on flights, hotel etc. While there, of course they're going out to lunch/dinner and other places. He took her to the mall and told her to pick a "gift" b/c her bday was 3 weeks after and SHE choose the purse. Both the girl and the guy are M.D.s so $$$ isn't an issue here.
At the end of the day......no matter how much money a guy is spending on a girl......when the bill comes for food....there is nothing that prevented that girl from saying "Hey why don't you let me get this since you've been taking care of everything else.".
Re: Going Dutch or is Chivalry Still Alive?
I met a dude for a coffee once and ended up paying for the both of us. He got to the register, ordered our drinks and just stood there. I felt like he was waiting for me to pay so I did just to get away from the register but never met him again.
I do always offer to pay for anything we're doing.
I just cant help but feel like a guy should be doing those things though.
Re: Going Dutch or is Chivalry Still Alive?
When I first started dating my fiance, I almost always OFFERED to pay (yes, I even offered on the first date). He insisted on paying and did not allow me to pay....but he did appreciate that I at least offered. Now that we're "together", there are times I insist on paying when we're out. And there are even times when I take him out on a "date".
One of the biggest complaints I hear from my guy friends (and DF's friends) is that girls never even OFFER to pay. A friend of his recently flew to a different city for 4 days to spend an extended weekend w/ a girl he recently started dating (both desis). Between the flight, hotel room, lunches/dinners, show tickets etc.....the guy spent over $1000 for those few days. He even took the girl shopping and bought her a almost $500 Kate Spade purse. Yet according to him....not one single time the entire weekend did the girl even OFFER to pay for anything. It's not that he doesn't have the money to pay for it all....but it made him feel like she didn't appreciate or recognize all that he was doing for her. It gave him the impression that she felt entitled to it.
Maybe it's just me....but I think the girl should at the least offer to pay.
Lol serves him right, why would you spend so much on someone you've just started dating?
Re: Going Dutch or is Chivalry Still Alive?
I only ever do coffee dates and only one guy has made me pay for my own coffee. £2.25
Wow...well, at least you knew why he was single!
Re: Going Dutch or is Chivalry Still Alive?
That is pathetic. I could understand if it was a large bill and he decided to split but making a girl pay for a couple of quid is rubbish!
He did study History at Oxford uni and worked for Barclays bank in CW so he can do whatever he wants. He rejected me cos I was 'too simple'
I told my daddi he didnt even pay for my coffee, she said I should have ordered tea instead cos it's cheaper. :(
Re: Going Dutch or is Chivalry Still Alive?
Lol serves him right, why would you spend so much on someone you've just started dating?
There is no "serving him right" b/c as I said.....he makes good $ so that's not the issue. And again, living in different states (they were introduced by friends)....he can't just take her out to dinner and that's it. Even if she had offered to pay....he would not have let her. He makes great $$....so does she. So money itself is not an issue here b/c trust me, he's not giving a second thought to how much he spent.
Re: Going Dutch or is Chivalry Still Alive?
I think we're too nice
Aww such sad story he sounds like a prat, ur better off without him - cheapskate and insulting - my what every girl dreams of sighs longingly
Re: Going Dutch or is Chivalry Still Alive?
Tooooooooo funny 
On the first date he paid, because it’s romantic and cute 
Afterwards, almost 80% of the time he would pay, and after I have offered so many times he’ll let me do the rest. But now after 5 years of dating, we have a balance in-terms of paying from flights to food, just so one person doesn’t become homeless.
Re: Going Dutch or is Chivalry Still Alive?
One of the biggest complaints I hear from my guy friends (and DF's friends) is that girls never even OFFER to pay. A friend of his recently flew to a different city for 4 days to spend an extended weekend w/ a girl he recently started dating (both desis). Between the flight, hotel room, lunches/dinners, show tickets etc.....the guy spent over $1000 for those few days. He even took the girl shopping and bought her a almost $500 Kate Spade purse. Yet according to him....not one single time the entire weekend did the girl even OFFER to pay for anything. It's not that he doesn't have the money to pay for it all....but it made him feel like she didn't appreciate or recognize all that he was doing for her. It gave him the impression that she felt entitled to it.
There is no "serving him right" b/c as I said.....he makes good $ so that's not the issue. And again, living in different states (they were introduced by friends)....he can't just take her out to dinner and that's it. Even if she had offered to pay....he would not have let her. He makes great $$....so does she. So money itself is not an issue here b/c trust me, he's not giving a second thought to how much he spent.
Then what's the point of telling this story? If he 's not giving a second thought to how much he spent then what's the complaint?
Re: Going Dutch or is Chivalry Still Alive?
whoever is more desperate should pay.
Re: Going Dutch or is Chivalry Still Alive?
Well I’ll pay but the chick better pay off that debt later that night. Nomesayn?
