Giving people their space

[system]

@Hulahoop_Queen

^friendships never end one way; it is always a mutual thing. A lot of times your close friends invade your space when you have LET THEM come into your space in the first place. Did you place these boundaries when you first became friends with them? Usually, people involve others in their life, get them to come close and share, and then when they can’t handle it, push them away. If this is not what you had done, then you can be upset with this person.

Secondly, sometimes people just don’t know how to act in certain situations. A lot of times when their friend gets upset, they become confused and upset and can’t see any other way than to try to come close and be there. They want to respect your emotions but they don’t know where to draw the line. When you push them away, they get hurt and react. Sometimes, you will have to look BEYOND their action and feel where they are coming from. Try to see if what they are doing is out of love and care rather than to insult you and take over your space.

For example, sometimes we hate it when our parents try to interfere in our lives. Lets say..you are going out and you don’t want your mom to know and when she inquires you, you feel upset. But…behind her inquire is care and utmost love. She has no bad intentions nor does she want to upset you.

I really hope your post wasn’t directed at my issue, specifically and that you are just talking about these issues in general.

As far as space is concerned, mine was an existential issue that began during the course of the friendship. It was BIG and the person couldn’t understand it. Their “solution” for me was to snap out of it - which I find beyond disrespectful. This was only one of the issues. Another very close friend was able to judge the situation and keep their distance and tried to tell this person about it too. The second friend cared enough to see what I needed at a time of huge crises in my life, not what** they **needed to do to feel better :). And THAT is what care is, otherwise it is called being selfish.

It would be selfish of a friend to expect anything from a friend when they are going through hell, and then throw things in their face when they are recovering. Not worth it. SO not worth it. Oh, and did I mention not being willing to talk about the stuff without sarcasm and insults?

It was indeed a cumulative effort of a couple of years.

Ah, I don’t know when I am going to get over this!