shoud we send money to my inlaws. they are in pakistan and are very well off. they have good business and investments.
we live with my parents and they pay for all of our expenses as my hubby us a full time student and working part time. whatever he earns, after our personal expenses, we save. i have income as well, so together we have saved about $25000.
recently my brother and dad told me that my husband should send some mo0ney from our savings to his parents.
i am expecting and we are planning to buy a unit, with a bank loan and paying our savings as a deposit. my hubby doesnt want to send as well as he knows they dont need our help. but i feel so bad and what if my hubby changes his mind and follows my brothers advise.
should we send them money. i am confused.
when i look at our life, we need money for our future and our baby.
than when i look at the other side, my husband has a responsibility towards his parents as well. he has 4 younger sisters.
well ..how well off rae they?..and mostl iportantly do they really need it?..or htey just wanna blow on high standard fazool stuff?..if they just wanna blow money to show off and get useless stuff..then consdiering the situation..if i were u..id pass!
^ i would assume that too...IF hte in laws were asking for it themselves even though they were well off. But in this case it's the girl's brother and father telling her to do so.
A--I think this is a matter between you and your husband. if ur in laws aren't objecting then your family shouldn't say anything either, nor u shd feel obligated to send them anything....
In my opinion for now a gift of some sort once in a while is fine as his parents are well off. When his parents plan to marry his sisters he can help as needed. When he is student no more , and have a nice job , Inshaallah, he can start saving more in view of eventual wedding of his four sisters.
In my opinion for now a gift of some sort once in a while is fine as his parents are well off. When his parents plan to marry his sisters he can help as needed. When he is student no more , and have a nice job , Inshaallah, he can start saving more in view of eventual wedding of his four sisters.
I agree with mirchi bhai.
but if you send some money sis you will get more from other sourse.
Denay say paisa kum naheen hota hamain bus aisa lugta hai kay kum ho jaay ga.
Kuch na kuch zaroor bhaij dia karain Allah aap ko is ka ajar dayga. Insha Allah.
Question: Did the boy's parents even ask to be helped/given money to? Or was this just a bright idea from your brother? You didn't mention anywhere that your in-laws ever asked or demanded any cash. So I would like to believe its your side that feel your husband has some responsibility towards his parents -- perhaps trying to teach him about caring for parents?
This is what I believe. Each child has a responsibility to their parents. If either set of parents is well off and self sufficient, there is no need to 'help' them unless needed. However, I must add that the money you intend to give them should be saved in a separate account in their name, meant for them. So God forbid, either set of parents ever needs it, you always have money saved up to help them out and fulfill your responsibility as a child.
Parents are perhaps the only set of people who have and will always love and support you so we should never forget or ignore your responsibilities towards them.
In your case, with the facts you've explained, I would not send them a monthly allowance, instead, an occasional gift, remembering birthdays, regular phone calls should be plenty.
In the end, the decision should come from the pair of you -- husband and wife. Without pressure or insistence from anyone else.
I pray you have a safe pregnancy and a healthy baby.
Amen.
my in laws never asked us for money but i dont think they will mind if we give them as well. they are very well off and i can say they are rich, have good business, living in islamabad and have investment properties as well. they spends several lakhs on shopping every season.
when we went there, we spend about 1.5 lakh on his sisters shopping and other stuff.
the reason my brother said that if his family was in pak, he would send them as he sees this as his duty.
my hubby said that we, with our current situation, are trying hard to make a life for ourselves and with our baby due in december. we need to get a house/unit. honestly, if we move out of my parents house, we cannot afford to even pay rent.
my in laws never asked us for money but i dont think they will mind if we give them as well. they are very well off and i can say they are rich, have good business, living in islamabad and have investment properties as well. they spends several lakhs on shopping every season.
when we went there, we spend about 1.5 lakh on his sisters shopping and other stuff.
the reason my brother said that if his family was in pak, he would send them as he sees this as his duty.
my hubby said that we, with our current situation, are trying hard to make a life for ourselves and with our baby due in december. we need to get a house/unit. honestly, if we move out of my parents house, we cannot afford to even pay rent.
As they arent expecting a montly installment, I dont see a problem in sending some money as a gift. I personally would not look at how much wealth his parents have when sending a gift. No need to be extragavant, but I'm sure they wouldnt mind knowing that you two are thinking about them too.
If someone doesn't really need money then whats the point of sending money to them. Its not like you have just won a lottery and sharing the loot. Seems like you guys are struggling, and are planning to buy a unit or something. May be its time to ask your in-laws to chip-in, instead, and help you get settled. May be like a loan or something. Surely, if they are very rich, they can help out.
Normally I frown at other people (your brother in this case) giving this kind of advice on financial matters. In your case, it seems you and your husband live off a lot of help from your folks. The sooner you remediate this the better. As a couple you guys need to be independent (financially).
In my opinion for now a gift of some sort once in a while is fine as his parents are well off. When his parents plan to marry his sisters he can help as needed. When he is student no more , and have a nice job , Inshaallah, he can start saving more in view of eventual wedding of his four sisters.
I don't think you need to send any now. Whatever saving you guys did is for your home and the baby. So when his parents don't need it then there is no need to send. You guys can send it as a gift later when it is easy on your husband.
It doesn't matter if your husband's parents are well off or not, they have a right over their son's money and he should send them (may be a small amount) of money regularly.
Some parents never ask for money to their kids even if they need it.
Allah says in Surah Al-Baqarah
215. They ask you (O Muhammad ) what they should spend. Say: "Whatever you spend of good must be for parents and kindred and orphans and Al-Masakin (the poor) and the wayfarer, and whatever you do of good deeds, truly, Allah knows it well.'')
It doesn't matter if your husband's parents are well off or not, they have a right over their son's money and he should send them (may be a small amount) of money regularly.
Some parents never ask for money to their kids even if they need it.
Allah says in Surah Al-Baqarah
215. They ask you (O Muhammad ) what they should spend. Say: "Whatever you spend of good must be for parents and kindred and orphans and Al-Masakin (the poor) and the wayfarer, and whatever you do of good deeds, truly, Allah knows it well.'')
Exactly!!!
You have to give little at least or whatever you can but sure give them. Wo mangain na mangain, zaroorar ho ya na ho.
Jub aapka paisa milay ga unko khushi ho gi aur maan baap pay jub pyar bhari nazar dalna hi bohat bari baat hai to paisay denay say aur ziada khushi hoti hai. Unko jo khushi hogi yani unka dil khush ho ga to yaqeenun dua bhi karain gay aur jub dua karain gay to aap ko us paisay say ziada faida ho ga.
You are going to have baby and planning to buy home. Allah maan baap ki dil ki khushi aur duaon say barkat day ga. Insha Allah.
Na sirf maan baap balkay bahnon ko bhi kuch na kuch tohfa aisa dain jo unki shadi pay kaam aa jaay.
Sis we think that money kum ho jaay ga. halankay aisa naheen hota Allah barkat deta hai dainay say.
But he has an obligation towards his wife and to be born child. It s not that his parents are in dire need. According to her they are wealthy people so if he doesn't send them money for a little time period due to his financial situation then it should be considered ok. I mean that is just my opinion based on her situation.
They're not giving him a wrong advice , are they? May be they are reminding him the obligation as a muslim to his parents.
Exactly.
The are very good itni achchi advice they rahain hain warna aajkal to ulta bahka detay hain.
Qabil e ahtaram aur izzat hain aisay maan baap bahan bhai. Jo apni bahnon ko aqalmandana mashwara detay hain.
You won't believe.
1 My mom was visiting my sister she needed some money my father didn't give her money so my mom asked my brother. what he did he send her money at that time my mom needed that so when my mom got that money she said "Allah meray buchchay ko itni izzat aur itni daulat day kay dunia uskay qadam choomay".
Other side story is my brother recently went to usa and got first job had nothing with him not was his first pay and he sent all of them and thought mera Allah malik hai.
Now at this young age he got everything izzat daulat and shohrat. Masha Allah.
