Re: giving milk to groom
My chacha's brides sisters got him to pay them $4000 in total.
Bechare chacha jee, lagta hai akele me larr rahe hon ge deal karte howe :p
Re: giving milk to groom
On my sister's wedding when we got to $500, all the elders (our elders) from other side of the stage started starring me to stop and get up...lol...I think I got $50 from that $500, rest was distributed among the cousins for juta chupati which I didn't mind...lol... I think without them I wouldn't be able to even get a penny..lol :D
Anyway, it is just a fun thing, so we should not fix a number with it. *Guys already have to spend so much money on other stuff at their wedding, lets spare them on such things. Lets not put a "normal" or "decent" cap on juta chupati. Just have fun and happily accept whatever he gives you. *:D
Wah wah wah...at last some one who does feel with us (men) :D
Re: giving milk to groom
I dont have a sister 
Re: giving milk to groom
Sorry guys, but this is such a very bs tradition. Not trying to be a hypocrite here since i've been part of a few such negotiaions at various shadis, but ive also seen quite a few instances where people have crossed limits during bargaining and things have taken turns for the worse. Buts thats another thread.
As for lilmisssweetness, your husband has to give no money if he wants. If he decides to take a stand that is.
I don't get abt thousands either, thats pretty ridiculous!!
wen i got married, my 13 yr old cousin did the doodh pilai..she got 60 i think..i think she was pretty happy with it lol...it should be around that much, esp if its more than 1 sister......
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haha i guess it depends how loaded everyone is.. i went to a wedding where the mehr was $200,000+... HAHA. wow. i dunno why i cant stand rsamein... even though some of my fam LOVES it.... i love simple weddings....i cant keep the rasmein straight..
Re: giving milk to groom
$4000 mai 5 bhensain kion naheen khareed lein 
Re: giving milk to groom
haha i guess it depends how loaded everyone is.. i went to a wedding where the mehr was $200,000+... HAHA. wow. i dunno why i cant stand rsamein... even though some of my fam LOVES it.... i love simple weddings....i cant keep the rasmein straight..
was this a ny wedding? i went to one where it was very similar!
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200,000??!!!!!! who in the world was getting married to who?
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Salaam, no it was in D.C… it was like two G.I. specialists or sumthing getting married:smack: thats a crap load of $$ mA but could be maybe put to better use?
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^yeah, exactly. people just abuse the term meher and think of it as a money making idea. my relative who got married to a doctor 5 years ago had her meher set at 100k by her father and when the groom told them he couldn't pay that amount right away, they had him sign a contract saying he would give that amount to his wife in x number of years. islam tells you to set it at a REASONABLE amount without burdening anyone but sadly people have started to take advantage of it.
Re: giving milk to groom
i warned the hubs about the joota churai cos i didnt want him caught off guard, so in the end, he got away with $150… basically, he ran out of money! hahaha he didn’t take out that much from the bank 'cos he wasn’t anticipating it running that high, and then my aunt stepped in too and told us to back off but im sure if the girls had been allowed, it would have wayyyy gone past $150, which compared to these amounts above might not be much, but to us, it definitely would have been!
the point is to have fun and not to bankrupt the groom.
cheegum, i know what you mean about things going wrong- i went to a wedding once, where everything soured very quickly… someone forgot to tell the groom it was about having fun and being good-natured with his future sister’s in law 
… he basically told them to keep his shoes AND his bride and he’d take the limo home barefoot! needless to say, no one was impressed with this unsportsmanlike behaviour and the night ended not so well…
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WOW what a jerk!!! poor bride.. bechari… 
thats a preview into the marital life i guess huh?
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we decided to count all the girls in our family, cousins, sisters, nieces, decided that each of us should get 1000 Rs., and then rounded it to a nice even figure. in the end you don't get what you demanded for anyways. and the money's always split between the girls in the end anyways.
Re: giving milk to groom
SGC, had he been a sport and played nice, but still didnt give any money because he doesnt believe in such a tradition (not because he's a miser). Would things have been different then? There would still be gossip amongst the girl's side dont you think? People will go around talking behind his back about what a scrooge he is, or just plain dumb for not keeping up with the latest and greatest desi shadi traditions.
Granted this tradition is fun when played in the right spirit. But is it obligatory? Is it fair to outcast someone who refuses to play along?
The young generation today, i.e. us, talks about how our elders like to hold on to stupid and pointless traditions. What are we doing to not be what we accuse them of being.
Re: giving milk to groom
well, i think its something that should have been discussed and brought up before the wedding... i mean, you can't assume everyone is aware they're going to get hit with this tradition, so its only fair that people discuss it beforehand and clear out expectations to avoid uncomfortable situations, like what ended up happening.
and no, its not obligatory- joota chuppai is something some families do and others don't. and if he had issues with it and had aired them, then im sure they would not have done the rasam and/or would have chosen another one in its place, to avoid the gossip and ill-will.
in the end, i think both sides were equally to blame- the bride's side should have mentioned it to him at some point to get his thoughts on it, and the groom, once in that situation, should have been nicer and more polite to his wife. he could have given the girls a verbal IOU if he didn't have the money on him- being a jackass wasn't necessary.
also what traditions are you talking about? i kind of like these little things so long as they're done in the spirit of fun.
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WOW what a jerk!!! poor bride.. bechari... :( thats a preview into the marital life i guess huh?
actually, they're doing very well now MA... things have settled down and they're very happy :)
Re: giving milk to groom
that milk must have been from a cow made of gold.
I guess but they became so hyper and obsessed so we were like just let it go and give them the money...and plus other factors too followed so yeah.
and they also got $4000-5000 for joota chori wali rasam..
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^ Are you talking USD/CD ya Rupees???? if its dollars....thats just mind boggling how anyone can get that much money! itnay kameenaY!
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^ lol! i was thinking the same! i mean who carried $4000 in their pockets in any western country!
Re: giving milk to groom
dhoodh pilaai in exchange of money....putting pan leaf on hands and then putting mehndi on it ....lol...such things look so retarded to me now....yeh cheezen kis idiot nay sochi??