^ don't you just pick one rasam and do that? we only had joota chuppai and other families i know only do doodh pillai.
We almost always do the finger thing on the mehndi and the jootha usually too. The other things we haven't really done, though my cousins did do the dood thing for my hubby (they just teased a bit, no money as far as I recall). I don't like the stopping of the baraat. That gets too heated. And the post-ruksati is okay cuz it gives the groom's side a chance to collect :D