Give me an insight

Lifestyle Relationships
41

I am trying to figure out what does this bit of info have to do with the rest of your issue?

42

Shahzaday ki ammi nahin hn na... to bechara ronay ko hora hai..

43

Re: Give me an insight

I get the feeling that you dont agree with any of the advice given here since we want you to change and instead you want someone to blame your wife for the problems in your marriage.

44

Re: Give me an insight

mind boggling.

45

Nahi nahi, i do work sometimes. lekin we both know it is not the end of the world and not required. this has never been an issue for us to fight. but it was brought up by her in some fights but not the reason of the fight. she does not work, well may be a few days of consultancy work in a few months and I have never in my full life have asked her to work, never.

please dont give me advice on things that are not even our issue.

46

Re: Give me an insight

.

47

Yeah but he's special case..

Time Out
48

bhai mujhay khud samajh nahi aara. we do love eachother but dont know how to live peacefully. she wants to be with me, why would she not want to be with me, we both love each other very much, lekin jhagray nai khatum hotay. this is khambakht america.

aik tau mujhay respect ki nahi samajh aati, jang mai to everyone fights, jab jhagra shuru ho gaya to doora bhi laray ga hi na.

49

Re: Give me an insight

You're quick man, I have deleted my post.

50

thankyou Faisal. maybe you are right.

51

Re: Give me an insight

lothario,

simple is that control ur wife, and control urself.

52

yaar ethay koi lahori nai jera meri side lai? maybe i did not explain myself properly, maybe i gave you all her good things. she sometimes make me feel she doesnot trust me. now when you are husband and you feel that your wife has trust issues then it causes more depression.

53

bhai, that is not a issue we fight about or have problems with, log samajhday kyon nai?

54

Re: Give me an insight

Just talk communicate..even if it's about "Pink BED sheets"

And keep mommy out of this..it's not right and no women will allow this..even though she turns to them.Involving mom can complicate things ..MORE!

55

aray meray yaar, work is not problem in life. we have enough and allh da sukar hai it grows everyday. she does not work either, she keeps herself busy in domestic activities and gets an escape from the boriat i have, she does not even understand ke mai khuwar hota hooN tv ke samnay. we dont have dish, aik adha indian chanal, no pakistani dramay.

hai lahore.

56

Re: Give me an insight

people here are just giving u advices based on wht u wrote. either explain ur situation better or take these advices that people are giving and improve ur relationship.
based on wht u wrote initially, you are the one being a baby.
sorry but this is true

57

Re: Give me an insight

A) Get a job (even if you dont need one)..just get busy!
B) Make yourself look/feel important.
C) Earn your respect
D) Be a gentleman--you will be respected by your mother AND your wife.
E) Learn to be social as a couple
F) you have ALOT of issues...not just trust issues...
G) Be emotionally available for your wife..she needs you too.
H) The reason she runs to your mother with every complaint is because she doesnt feel like you belong to her....that is a MAJOR turnoff for any woman!!

58

Whining is when the complaints are baseless. I am sorry to say against that you are whining about petty things.
She does not cook what I like , the bed sheets are pink , she says that her friends husband bought a nice house , a nice car.
When the complaints are genuine they are communicated to the person against whom you have complaints and things are sorted out between two adults.
I agree to most posters here that you have too much time at your hands. Make yourself busy and you will magically find out that your life is full of adventure and you will come out of this self pity mode. These are some ways to make yourself busy and valuable member of society register yourself with some volunteer program. Go clean your Masjid. Pray nawafil , read and ponder on Quran . Start writing a blog or a book about how stay home husbands can make them useful and lead meaningful lives when you start research on this subject you will have no time to pay attention to these petty things.

Mard ka dill dard karana chah-e-a but not for petty things and petty complaints , but for big issues , like hunger, poverty, illiteracy , diseases in the world. Rising prices of oil gas , falling property prices, stock market crash etc.:D

59

Re: Give me an insight

so money isn't an issue..

your issue are
- that your wife doesn't spend time with you.
- that she doesn't listen to your mother
- that she doesn't cook your fav food
- that she seems unhappy with your way to life. Compares you with others

Bhai ya tou hum bewaqoof hai ya aap bahut aqalmand ho.. lekin bhai as much as this will hurt you and as much as you don't want to hear this.. the problem is NOT her, the problem is YOU. the minute you will realize that you need to find an avenue to communicate with her, things will get better. At the age of 28 all your friends have jobs to worry about, house payments and bills to worry about. They work hard not coz they are loosers but coz they know that they are providing for their family. They dont' have time to be stressful about small things.

In my opinion there are ONLY two options:

  • move back to Lahore and live off as you used to
  • realize that this is america and life here is a struggle. Your wife went through it and now you are going through it.

and please do seek counseling as Faisal bhai suggested.

First time home buying..
60

array it is not like i seek attention from somebody elses wife. i seek attention from my wife.

did i tell people she has high temper, baat shuru hoti nahi, jhaar pehlay shuru. baat only when she wants to. meri to sunti ni