Re: Girls - Would you?
words of wisdom - completely agreed
Facts of the matter stand thusly.
Children need mothers more than fathers. The mother WILL be required at home for the children, if absentee, the children WILL suffer.
Families should stick together. Tighten your belts more, but Allah prevent any sort of circumstance where couples feel forced to separate.
Re: Girls - Would you?
i*ts all about mindset....but there's something really off about a guy who doesn't want a working wife--why not just look for someone whose a simple matric pass/BA pass..why go for professional/highly educated women. like i said...the game changes when you have kids. *
Of course the guys who would rather their wives sit home and clean the toilet and do teh dishes would disagree with this. as already shown. :)
Because a matric pass wont have the mentality he seeks. I think each to his own seriously ..
I think my view is very personally affected, because I dont study to earn the big bucks nor do I think I feel more "freedom" or "independant" if my husband "let" me work.. For me, working is a personal choice, whereas education is important to survive todays world
Re: Girls - Would you?
:k:
It’s weird how people think one gets education only if they want to work! education is alot more than just being able to work and earn bucks.
Re: Girls - Would you?
Education is supposed to also bring about what is known as "sha-oor" ie wisdom/personal growth.
And if that educated person has no wisdom or self growth, then wouldn't you say education has been wasted on them.
:)
Re: Girls - Would you?
Say the guy is well settled, earns well, has proper accommodation ... everything and asks you to leave your job/career before the wedding, since he can provide for it all and is not comfortable with you progressing on career. He would prefer you to focus on home.
Would you leave it for him since he is providing you a comfortable life on his own as well?
Instantly !! but that's my personal choice. Alhamdulilah, I have already accomplished what ever I wanted to do in my academic and professional life in fact Allah has bestowed more success on to me then I had actually planned for. So I would love to give my best to the marital life and the joys that come along with that. **
An FYI is that doing a job is not the only activity that can give you a sense of fulfillment and achievement. **
Re: Girls - Would you?
And if that educated person has no wisdom or self growth, then wouldn't you say education has been wasted on them.
:)
^ I wouldnt say that, since I am not uneducated enough to sit around and wonder at the wisdom or very apparent lack thereof of certain people.
Re: Girls - Would you?
Instantly !! but that's my personal choice. Alhamdulilah, I have already accomplished what ever I wanted to do in my academic and professional life in fact Allah has bestowed more success on to me then I had actually planned for. So I would love to give my best to the marital life and the joys that come along with that. **
An FYI is that doing a job is not the only activity that can give you a sense of fulfillment and achievement. **
^ There in an implied choice that comes along with it. Because you've already reached the pinnacle of success you set out for yourself, leaving behing a job or career is not a hardship for you and you are choosing to stay at home. So long as there is a choice, I agree with what you've said.
Re: Girls - Would you?
I agree with you Chitpotle but fulfilment and accomplishment that comes through, for example, being a mother should not be the same as when you do things entirely for yourself.
Choosing to achieve in education, career etc are selfish desires. IMO childrearing should be selfless to an extent. Otherwise what you get are parents/mothers who put all their own desires into their kids and tie their own feelings of fulfilment and achievement to what their children are doing and it messes people up.
So I firmly believe one should do things for themselves that aren't connected to others.
Re: Girls - Would you?
It looks like a good proposition at the moment. However, in the long run I know I would die of boredom so.....maybe not.
Re: Girls - Would you?
I would try to compromise with him.. work until the kids come along - thats what I said to the hubs before marriage and he was perfectly fine with it :)
Re: Girls - Would you?
I would leave my job on his demand as i don't have any long term career goal. I am not getting education just to get a good job.... i am getting education to educate my children in future....... and if God Forbids something happens to my husband, i could support my family........ kisi per dependent nahin hoon gi main.
Re: Girls - Would you?
Say the guy is well settled, earns well, has proper accommodation ... everything and asks you to leave your job/career before the wedding, since he can provide for it all and is not comfortable with you progressing on career. He would prefer you to focus on home. Would you leave it for him since he is providing you a comfortable life on his own as well?
No i wouldn't leave my job because he says so. I would compromise, meaning until kids come along i would want to work. Otherwise i don't see no point of doing my CA then. I would want to save up for rainy days just in-case or if my husband doesn't earn enough.
Re: Girls - Would you?
nowadays having two sources of income coming in allows for a more comfortable life, with only one income the couple would probably have to struggle to make rent every month or the house mortgage. it just to stay safe just in case…There should be a valid reason for her to leave the job that she loves dearly
a man finds fulfillment from his job, his confidence in himself is on a high so it isnt any different for a woman. if it was to take care of the children when they are young then it makes sense but there isn’t any practical reason for her to leave her career behind immediately after marriage especially if she was just hired…
Re: Girls - Would you?
This world can be a much better place if women start offering the same to us poor men . I won't think twice about leaving my job for a peaceful time at home . :p