girls-would you let your husband marry again or divorce him?

Lifestyle Relationships
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idea taken from another thread,

what would us GS girls do, realistically, if your husband wanted to marry again, would you let him, or divroce him, whats worse?

i always say i would leave him, if he wants to marry he can. but i would not be his wife anymore. we know islam says its ok for men to marry again, so why do we have such a problem with it??

DISCLAIMER-NO, my husband DID NOT ask me if he could marry again, its just a question i thought of reading the other post…secondly if he did ask me, me at 9 months preg, and nearly 4000kg, i wouldve sat on him.

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Re: girls-would you let your husband marry again or divorce him?

"let him"???

You can't really stop him from taking on a second wife. Islam gives him that right.

And if your husband REALLY wants to marry another woman...........and you pressure him into not doing so........would it still make you happy or give you peace of mind? He could give into your wishes...and ONLY remain married to you..........but even then......just the thought of knowing that he was seriously contemplating it can't give you peace of mind. I imagine that it's bound to lead to issues like doubting him...doubting yourself....paranoia about what he's thinking/where he's going, it can do a real number on your self-esteem (even if he doesn't marry again). Even if he agrees to remain monogamous, that doesn't mean that the psychological/emotional effects that his former plans had upon you will disappear so soon.

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Re: girls-would you let your husband marry again or divorce him?

agreed.

id leave him. but there are women who would let their husbands marry again for the reasons you gave RV....because even if husband agreed not to, itl effect the wife anyway.

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Re: girls-would you let your husband marry again or divorce him?

What if he cheats? Would you leave him?

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Re: girls-would you let your husband marry again or divorce him?

^That's exactly what I meant. For those women who think that they'll feel much better if they can manage to convince or pressure their husbands into remaining monogamous.............they'd STILL have to deal with the emotional and psychological "trauma" (for lack of a better word) of his former wish. I don't think it's something that's easy to overcome. Your husband could still live under the same roof as you...but to constantly wonder if you're not good enough or what he might be thinking of, etc.....can take a toll on you.

And if kids are involved (especially if they're young)...it can complicate things. And sometimes one might even end up handling an unpleasant situation much differently (if it were to occur) than they imagined. Things are not always so simple.

I believe I'd leave him as well.

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Re: girls-would you let your husband marry again or divorce him?

yes. of course. why does anyone deserve to be cheated on, god has given us enough imthihaan in this world, however i do not believe men cheating is one of them.....people assume if a man cheats, woman should stay and endure any abuse/cheating/etc because she will go to heaven...

if a woman cheats, how many men will stay with them?

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Re: girls-would you let your husband marry again or divorce him?

Ghareeb Ghurba's wives leave them on cheating, the rich and famous get away with it. Basically it all depends upon how much the spouses depend upon each other.

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Re: girls-would you let your husband marry again or divorce him?

I'd leave him.

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Re: girls-would you let your husband marry again or divorce him?

After reading RV's reply, I think that I would leave him when he mentions it because he thought of it. No ifs or buts.

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Re: girls-would you let your husband marry again or divorce him?

Interesting question. Yes.

I hope I never have to worry about either of these situations.

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Re: girls-would you let your husband marry again or divorce him?

What if he wanted to marry someone else for other reasons? like wanting to marry a woman in a bad situation? after all, this was the reason for one of the prophet's SAW marriages - One of his wives, i believe her name started with S, he married her because she had no other form of support.

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Re: girls-would you let your husband marry again or divorce him?


Ofcourse and in cheating scenerio with revenge.:ASA:

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Re: girls-would you let your husband marry again or divorce him?

NEVER!!! Divorce is not in my dictionary…unless he cheats on me…and no second marriage either :snooty:

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Re: girls-would you let your husband marry again or divorce him?

Someone told me “if a man has a wife like you at home, why will he ever look outside for any other woman.” so if my husband cheated on me, i ll kill this guy who said this to me coz i hate this guy anyway. :bailan:

on serious note…nope i dont have such a big heart in this particular matter. i wont leave him but i ll disappear that other woman n he will never know where did she go. :dixsi: - baaqi usska (hubby ka) hisaab kitaab tou saari umar ho ga :asa:

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Re: girls-would you let your husband marry again or divorce him?

I don't think he will repeat his mistake. Ever.

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Re: girls-would you let your husband marry again or divorce him?

i'd leave him..

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Re: girls-would you let your husband marry again or divorce him?

I'd divorce him and leave him to marry whoever he wants.. the thought of him staying with me out of pity or some twisted sense of 'loyalty' only because I've had to talk him out of marrying a second wife makes me feel a bit sick.. the guy would prob be fantasising about it quite a bit if he had brought it up himself in the first place imo and not much worse than him thinking of another woman when he's in bed with me.. My SIL has an uncle who has two wives. He did actually want wife no.2 all along but was forced into marring wife no.1 from 'back home' (cousin I think). He originally asked wife no.1 for a straight out divorce but she apparently said she couldn't handle the stigma of it and having to leave the UK lol so gave him the go-ahead to marry the other woman (nikah only).. Being honest neally every story I've heard of involving polygyny is messy and nasty.. kids end up hating their dads and feeling bitter at him for not being around when they needed him and then the resentment the mum feels at being replaced by a younger model.. There is the odd happy ending here and there but it does seem to be a very small percentage.. Sorry, can't seem to split into paragraphs :(

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Re: girls-would you let your husband marry again or divorce him?

Crikey,rv and dheebs views scare me.

Well...some men just do want more than on girl you know. What the big problem. Especially if hes rich and brings loads to the table, do you think hes gonna resist all that tempation out there.

Well...is this Polygamy really such a big emotional issue forr women that it is out of the question they live as sisters. Well...it not always about having the bigger family...its just about wanting another chick and her variety.
For men a major part of going fora girl is her looks...of which after some time they get bored..

Just be straight up darn it..and say it if it is too painful even your man, with your knowledge, is wanting to just be physical with another women. If its that important, Some men out of love/ respect for thier wives would give up thier pleasures you know..

If we men are not educted, how do we know what to do.

Dont bash me pls..just answer the question.

peace:

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Re: girls-would you let your husband marry again or divorce him?

^when your wife uses the same idiotic logic to justify taking another man, i hope you'll oblige.

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Re: girls-would you let your husband marry again or divorce him?

I dont think I quite understood your question but here goes.

When a woman commits to a man, she commits emotionally, physically and mentally to him. That leaves no room to fantasise being with another man although we are all aware that there might be better men out there with all the riches, with alot more to offer to us. Cmon, who doesnt like being charmed and treated like a princess?
In every relationship, after a length of time its all a routine/boring but as commited descent women, they put up with it.
Now if shes well groomed, looks, after herself, takes care of you, takes care of your children, offers respect to your parents and is fully supportive of you then how can you even have any nerve to think about wanting to bring another woman home?

How would you like it if your wife/gf/partner decided she wanted to feel "sexy" again, and considered spending a full day/night with a younger, more attractive man? (And please do not tell me its a totally different situation and men have more desires because they dont)

I guess if you are okay with that then there is no room for complaint on her part if you decide to have sexual encounters/desires of other women eh?

Fact is, every woman wants to be the queen of her crib/house, that is her sanctuary. She rules it, she made it the home it is. To bring in another female into her sanctuary and take ownership doesnt go down well with anyone. Another point, no woman can stand to share her man. If you truely loved her, you wouldnt put her through such trauma because although she may behave like she isnt affected by it all, trust me most nights when you are not there will be hard on her.