This is a topic that has come up time and again, and is related to my other post, in which some guppies mentioned this.
Now the thing is, I have often heard guys say they dont respect women as much when they dont wear hijab.
My question isnt whether you have more respect or not for someone who wears hijab, but its rather, how do you show more or less respect to one, as opposed to the other? Is it in your thoughts, your actions, what? If you can be as specific as you can, in terms of actions, I would appreciate it. Do you not hold doors open for girls that dont wear it, are you more free in your speech to girls that dont?
I’d also like to know the same thing from girls. Girls that feel hijabis deserve more respect than other girls that dont wear hijab. How do you think of them differently? What are your thoughts/actions towards them? Do you not mingle with them in parties, etc?
Finally, what about non-muslims. Do they not deserve the same respect, or do you give them the same amount of respect you would give to a non-hijabi muslim girl? Are non-hijabi muslim girls treated in your eyes, the same as non-muslim girls?
I know for a fact this occurs because I’ve seen it in several posts, so I’d like it if everyone would be honest in sharing their thoughts. I am not trying to make this a hijabi’s vs. non-hijabi’s thread. I want to know the difference in treatment, and girls that dont wear hijab can also share how and if they treat girls differently that do wear hijab. Thanks.
In today's world, the Hijab and the beard are synonymous with Islam, and we all know how Muslims are looked at today, with mistrust, hatred and doubt, not to mention the whole Hijab issue around the world...In this world, in an age when most are willing to hide their beliefs and convictions, someone stands up for it and practices it, has my utmost respect...
Everyone goes around looking like a prissy hussy, and we know how most women tend to advertise themselves as objects, in this age when someone holds firm to their belief by following the commands of their faith not only deserve respect but should be applauded...It takes guts and a strong conviction to stand out from the masses by following your creed and criteria, and that kind of conviction certainly has my respect and admiration...
Opening doors, pulling chairs, giving way are such a small criteria for judging who is a gentleman and who isn't and are mostly western ideals of chivalry...The person who would be opening a door for you in the morning at the supermarket might probably be someone who in the evening beats or abuses his wife or girlfriend...
As for desans without Hijab, I can hardly tell them apart whether they are Muslims or Hindus so I just usually lump them together and ignore them...And I truly don't know what you mean by respect...Opening doors? I do that to everybody (4 feet behind me, and I keep the door open, man or woman...:D)...
But definitely, I would have more respect for a Hijaban, in the sense that whatever she would have to say, comment on and view, I would listen attentively...For anyone possessing the strength and conviction to wear a Hijab in today's world, would definitely have something meaningful to say...
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*Originally posted by Lajawab: *
and we know how most women tend to advertise themselves as objects,
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excuse me? care to elaborate on that?
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*Originally posted by Lajawab: *
But definitely, I would have more respect for a Hijaban, in the sense that whatever she would have to say, comment on and view, I would listen attentively...For anyone possessing the strength and conviction to wear a Hijab in today's world, would definitely have something meaningful to say...
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That's great. However, what about those girls who wear hijabs due to family/cultural pressure? What about those girls who wear it just "for show"? Would you feel the same way about those hijaabans out there who wear a hijab with skin tight clothes?
Sure…Buy a issue of Visage or Libaas, or a little more to the west, Playboy, Penthouse or Hustler and you’ll know what I mean…
The reason I say most, is that is what I perceive most women to be doing…Hijabans are a dying breed, but Alhumdulillah due to the efforts of stalwarts like Farhat Hashmi, many ladies are turning to it…
And as for skin tight clothes, I have yet to see a Hijaban like that…And of she does, she probably doesn’t know that Hijab is not merely modestly covering the face, it is being modest in the heart too…Putting a beard on donkey doesn;t make him a Mullah and covering a goat with cloth doesn’t make it a Hijaban…It’s how you carry it…
May Allah :swt: give them more strength to carry their task to their best abilities…Ameen…
So you perceive most women who don't wear a hijab to be strutting around pretty much naked (as per Playboy, Hustler and the other worldly "western" sources you have cited) and shagging every guy in sight?
As far as I know, Islam preaches understanding and adopting a non-judgmental attitude. The fact that you think that all women who don't wear a hijab are like this is shocking and truly sad considering, as per what you stated above, you don't even bother talking to them to get their "views" or "opinions". In fact, this kind of attitude is no different than non-Muslims assuming that all hijabans/bearded men are terrorists in the making.
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*Originally posted by MehnazQ: *
So you perceive most women who don't wear a hijab to be strutting around pretty much naked (as per Playboy, Hustler and the other worldly "western" sources you have cited) and shagging every guy in sight?
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This was in reference to what 'most' women want to be doing, i.e. dress pretty and show off...The porn magazine examples have nothing to do with Muslim girls, god forbid it was intended to show what the end result would be...I have sisters myself who don't observe Hijab, yet they are well raised...To take what you believe me to be saying is tantamount to me accusing my own sisters...Don't be so judgemental about me...
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As far as I know, Islam preaches understanding and adopting a non-judgmental attitude. The fact that you think that all women who don't wear a hijab are like this is shocking and truly sad considering, as per what you stated above, you don't even bother talking to them to get their "views" or "opinions".
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I never mentioned anything about the what I feel about non-Hijabis...The question was whether I respect Hiajabans more or non-Hijabans and I wrote quite clearly and distinctly who I respect more and for what reasons...It is you who are labelling me as judgemental...Non-Hijabis are a non-issue here...
But to answer your question, I don't need to talk to every non-Hijaban to 'get their views' to see how strong, pious and god-fearing they are...Like I said, I can't tell them apart from Hindwanis from India or Muslim girls from Pakistan...
Thats funny
Especially the ones who wear deep vneck tiny tees over tight jeans.
A lot of girls wear hajaab today to give a good impression. Usually the ones who have stuff to hide. In my class it was the hajaabans who has boyfriends and even though our group was more outspoken and thus suspected, it was the hajaabans who actually did everything and weren’t even ever suspected. Funny.
Lajawab, man, read what you wrote! It is oozing with judgments. You used references such as Playboy, Hustler and other skanky magazines to describe what YOU perceive as what “most” women do. According to what you have said, you ignore non-hijabans. To turn around and describe how you perceive most women to be … well, looks like you are being judgmental to me. Khair, call it what you want.
You may not have stated what you “feel” about non-hijaabis, but stating that you “can hardly tell them apart whether they are Muslims or Hindus so I just usually lump them together and ignore them” … I don’t think I need to say anything more.
Lajawab, please go to any university campus. You’ll see what some hijabans are really up as FF has stated.
Why do the girls who posted here sound so bitter? Someone who wears hijab and skin tight clothes shouldnt even be called a hijabi and I doubt Munni was talking about a girl like that.
I give the same amount of respect to someone who is wearing hijab PROPERLY as someone who is dressed modestly and a non-Muslim who is kind and compassionate and stuff. You don't have to wear a shapeless garbage bag to be a hijabi anyhow.
Yes i do give women who wear hijab more respect when compared to the ordinarily dressed woman.
Fact is in today's society it takes a certain measure of courage and faith to don the hijab. Most women dont do it because they succumb to the image of the 'free' western woman while totally ignoring all those females (even western converts) who claim that it was the hijab that actually set them free, not the low necks and short skirts.
Generally putting on the hijab makes a woman command respect from others, it also gives the woman a certain aura that non hijabi's certainly dont possess. In their presense i feel humbeled and relaxed. Its hard to explain, but a woman in hijab is so much more beautiful in all the right ways when compared to a non hijabi.
I admit, a lot of women wear it to show off, to give a different opinion of themselves and so on, but only Allah knows whats in the womans hearts and as such i dont judge unless i see one of them tightly clothed hijabi's (ive seen malay or filipino's doing that a lot). I guess i shouldnt even judge then..
When my fiancee started doing hijab it was almost like falling in love all over again. I saw her in a totally new light, as a woman who could and did help me increase my own faith.
Anyways whatever i said may be jumbeled up and all but i truly believe in Hijab giving a woman a ton more respect. The Quran commands women to cover up in such ways and a muslim shouldnt really be questioning the quran.
Can you be more specific as to what you assume about girls that do/dont wear hijab? Thanks.
For example, a friend of mine told me that he will willingly stare at girls that dont wear hijab, and he wont do that with girls that do. I forgot to ask him why this is.
Sarah there is no bitterness. Its a little surprising how ppl go by apearances only. On second thoughts it's not even surprising. Not all girls that observe hijaab use it as an excuse. Many of them observe it with all sincerity to its real cause, which is enviable. But not every girl that observes hijaab is pious. Likewise not every girl that doesn't wear hijaab is worthy of disrespect. You cannot tell what is in the persons heart just by looking at how he/she is dressed or how good or bad, pious or immoral a person is by the way he/she is dressed.
I can even understand why an average man may find it ok to stare at a girl who is not wearing hijaab but not one who is. Because the one who is wearing it, as it appears to them atleast, is making an effort to hide her body(no matter what the real reason is) and must be religious and all and thus automatically worthy of respect where as one who isn't wearing hijaab, even if she is dressed extremely modestly, to them is not covered enough and hence can be stared at and not considered worthy of respect. Doesn't sound very fair to me but that's just how their mind works. It's an animal-like approach where logic is not used. Give them the slightest chance of staring at you and they will make the most of it and a slightest chance is everything and anything u wear if you are not wearing a hijaab (from the looks of it).
I guess hijaab just gives its observers an edge over the non-hijaabans since they are instantaneously assumed to be pious, moral, incorruptible and honourable. And to answer Munni's question that is y most guys would think twice or skip checking out a hijaaban altogether.
Ok I'll just jumble it all in one, answer Munni's questions and challenge those replies to be somewhat off.
For a hijabi, I have respect for her appearance that she takes the time to cover herself. I don't have any further respect till I know her. Thats as far as my respect goes for her.
I open or hold doors for anyone and everyone, there is no discrimination.
I'm just the same with girls that do or don't. There is no difference. There could be something under the veil far more devious than the one without or vice versa.
Non-muslims deserve the same respect. I would like to think that I treat both equally and not cast them to hell off the bat.
Hijab and beard are NOT only synonymous with Islam. Judaism is up that alley too. Women MAY advertise themselves as objects or not. We cannot assume that for all of them. There is absolutely no comparison to women of the real world and women of Glamour magazines and t.v.
Lets keep in mind that Hijab means COVER oneself and not just the head while the rest of the body is in a bikini. Girls with Hijabs these days have completely shagged the concept of the hijab. Very few follow the code of Hijab.
To say that a woman puts on a certain aura that non-hijabis possess is naive. Keep in mind appearances are decieving. The girl may command respect by wearing a hijab properly but we don't know anything of her. All she has proven to me is that she can cover herself. Its a combination of everything that makes one a hijabi. Here is an example. A woman with a hijab staring down guys as opposed to another without with her eyes to the floor. I've seen it and was in shock to see this which changed my whole thought about women with or without hijab.
Don't judge a book by its cover till you've atleast read the preface.
I have to say, as crude as it sounds, and as factually incorrect as I know it to be, by instinct whenever I spot a hijabi girl versus a non-hijabi girl, I react in two different ways.
The hijabi girl I immediately mentally label as not wanting men to look at her, so I will tend to look away from her. The non-hijabi girl I will mentally label as being that way because she does not mind men looking at her, so I will not as often look away from her.
I don't associate hijab (w/modest or immodest dress) with piety for the reasons other posters have already articulated.
As regards warranting respect, hijabans observe hijab for their own religios/superficial reasons; I don't see why I should respect a non-hijaban less than a hijaban. Observing hijab isn't exactly curing cancer.
