It is in fact common knowledge that there are more unmarried Pakistani girls than there are unmarried Pakistani men. It is also a generally accepted fact that all the good men can pick and choose who they wish to marry and they are very very picky. More importantly is evident to note that women do not have the luxury to marry whenever they choose because of their biological clock and frankly a woman beyond 37 is just not appealing unless she is Angelina Jolie. So why don’t women just become the second wife?
There are good men out there who are great guys. Guys you women would happily marry as the first wife correct? So what if these guys have another wife before hand? He is still a decent bloke, he will still treat you right. He just won’t share your bed every night that is all.
And your kids will have others to play with. Logically it is a very sound decision and religiously very acceptable.
Bottom line it is in fact better than growing old alone and having menopause hit you.
Re: Girls should just accept to be the second wife.
That's the plan. But I'm gonna make sure my 3 other co-wives are at least 10 years older than me, saggy and fat and look like exhausted mamas of wayward man-boy sons. The closer they are to menopause, the better. Nothing better than being a favorite of a guy who knows what he's doing and treats me like the princess I feel I am.
Re: Girls should just accept to be the second wife.
It is in fact common knowledge that there are more unmarried Pakistani girls than there are unmarried Pakistani men. It is also a generally accepted fact that all the good men can pick and choose who they wish to marry and they are very very picky. More importantly is evident to note that women do not have the luxury to marry whenever they choose because of their biological clock and frankly a woman beyond 37 is just not appealing unless she is Angelina Jolie. So why don't women just become the second wife?
There are good men out there who are great guys. Guys you women would happily marry as the first wife correct? So what if these guys have another wife before hand? He is still a decent bloke, he will still treat you right. He just won't share your bed every night that is all.
And your kids will have others to play with. Logically it is a very sound decision and religiously very acceptable.
Bottom line it is in fact better than growing old alone and having menopause hit you.
Because more men like you haven't come around yet. <3
Re: Girls should just accept to be the second wife.
CM and Nomi - if your sister's husband decide to get a 2nd wife one day would you be okay with it ? Would you give her the same lecture of naseehat as you have posted above ? I mean what is okay with all the women in the world should be okay with your sisters too.
Re: Girls should just accept to be the second wife.
CM and Nomi - if your sister's husband decide to get a 2nd wife one day would you be okay with it ? Would you give her the same lecture of naseehat as you have posted above ? I mean what is okay with all the women in the world should be okay with your sisters too.
Re: Girls should just accept to be the second wife.
CM and Nomi - if your sister's husband decide to get a 2nd wife one day would you be okay with it ? Would you give her the same lecture of naseehat as you have posted above ? I mean what is okay with all the women in the world should be okay with your sisters too.
you misunderstood the question.....the question is about the 2nd, 3rd and 4th wife (basically 2nd).......that girls should be ready to be in that position instead of staying single......if for whatever unfortunate reasons they are unable to marry someone as first wife.
Re: Girls should just accept to be the second wife.
actually I have understood the question but when you are telling someone who be a guy's 2nd or 3rd wife then you are actually suggesting that men start bringing 2nd or 3rd wife on their 1st wife and for this married men have to do 2nd or 3rd marriage and those married men could be anyone ....they could be men of your and my family too ? they won't come from mars right ?
Re: Girls should just accept to be the second wife.
It is in fact common knowledge that there are more unmarried Pakistani girls than there are unmarried Pakistani men.
1) Why limit the "search" to Pakistlani men? Why not consider Muslim men from other races? Why should a woman choose to be the 2nd, 3rd, or 4th wife of a Pakistani man IF she can be the 1st and only wife of a Muslim man who's white or Indian or Arab etc?
Re: Girls should just accept to be the second wife.
So true Paheli..
(and a side issue is even when they do take a second wife desi men still often go for unmarried virgins instead of divorcees.. wouldn't exactly help the majority of these other women imo)..
Re: Girls should just accept to be the second wife.
^ that stat sort of applies to Muslim men from other races as well. There is a higher rate of unmarried Muslim women as opposed to men unfortunately.
It's the sort of discussion I'm having with my fiance these days and worst part of it all is that he always wins this argument over. There are some scholars out there who are actually recommending this to some guys. If they have the means to, they should support the unmarried women (some might prefer it as opposed to staying single and have no one to depend on for the rest of their lives).
I personally can never handle anything like that. Even if I did allow my husband to get married again so I can get sawab for helping a sister out, I would always be competing against her... actually let me put it this way, I'd have hated her guts and made her look bad infront of my husband every chance I get and that would just be counterproductive in terms of the sawab deal.
As far as the option of being a second wife is concerned, I can't tell now because I had rishtas but had I been old and not gotten them, I might've accepted being a second wife. Marriage is afterall, half our Deen. More power to women who can accept something like that.
But again, my perspective might be a little different since I lost my dad at age 5, from what I have experienced it is really hard to function without male support in the family (much to our chagrin)
Re: Girls should just accept to be the second wife.
^I know it applies to other races as well but Arabs (I don't know so much about others) are more open to marrying divorcees than we are (and some of their cities have sky-high divorce rates so I guess they are more used to it and have less stigma attached to it than we do)..
With polygyny lies are often involved (in the two desi cases I know of personally quite well the men were seeing the second wife for a long time on the side whilst telling the wives they were 'away on business') and the fact they often don't treat the wives (or kids) equally.. new wife will often get the nice gifts and more attention whilst no.1 is left feeling like cr*p.. Not many men can handle all the extra responsibility properly and end up making a huge mess.. Like I said I only know of two desi men who have done it and in both cases as well as the first wives being heartbroken the kids also ended up resenting their dads..
My other half can marry as many times as he likes but I won't be part of the arrangement.. I don't want a 'part-time' husband and just as he has his needs I have mine as well..
Re: Girls should just accept to be the second wife.
^ If I remember correct it would be 1:50. (one man and 50 women) But then, in those times who would even consider marriage of any value. (as illegal ways wouldn't be considered wrong according to hadiths).
