GIRLS!! Non-Virgin Bride DILEMMA!!

Lifestyle Relationships
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Re: GIRLS!! Non-Virgin Bride DILEMMA!!

Either way hes going to find out. It's better off that she tells him rather than him finding out on their wedding night. As far as in laws checking the bed for blood... i dont know cuz i learned in BIO that not all women bleed so i dont know how that works.

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I guess peOple just didnt read JL's post clearly that they couldn't understand the thoughts and especially which is highlighted ...

As far as i know my culture well i mean leave off the pathan thingie / qaba-ayli people there are some virgin/NAIK men out there who deserve to b in-partner with naik girls ...

and i vaguely remember i once heard from my friend who told me that there's a hadith saying that Allah has made naik women for naik men and vice e versa baqi Allah knOws better!

and ans. to this post i would agree with jL , mirch and PSquared they have pretty much said enough.....

and at last, we all should always all the time should ask for Allah's forgiveness coz we dont know where we did wrong!

Allah behtar kerei for all of us ...ameen

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Its not a hadith but verse in Surah Noor;

  • 024.026 * YUSUFALI: Women impure are for men impure, and men impure for women impure and women of purity are for men of purity, and men of purity are for women of purity: these are not affected by what people say: for them there is forgiveness, and a provision honourable.

PICKTHAL: Vile women are for vile men, and vile men for vile women. Good women are for good men, and good men for good women; such are innocent of that which people say: For them is pardon and a bountiful provision.

SHAKIR: Bad women .are for bad men and bad men are for bad women. Good women are for good men and good men are for good women

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^ thanks for correcting ... i wasnt sure

i hope all those people get the basic and main understanding that is coming streight from the quran rather that quarelling about one's being physicall with anybody or any other issue ....

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Bunnyhoney - Lie, Deny, Counter-Accuse like other desi girls. This ones easy.

You have more important things to think of. Like plotting against your in-laws. Thats where you will find some real experts here.

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Only two people had gold to offer here. Jaan Leva knows what he/she is talking about. No offense to the rest of you who are trying their hardest to help. Listen to him.

PSquared said to take this secret to her grave and never bring it up again (or something like that) - listen to her, as well.

Also, good for the people who went to Islam Q&A and posted material. That is the best scale to measure your logic.

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Re: GIRLS!! Non-Virgin Bride DILEMMA!!

Ladies please learn from this topic, when guys make fake promises to you and tell you that he will marry you, look after you, be there for you blah, blah blah, if he hasnt already done so,its all lies. so pelase be careful, sleeping with someone doesnt guarantee you a life with him, and please dont get mixed up in gora society, we are muslims.

i think this thread needs to be closed

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Re: GIRLS!! Non-Virgin Bride DILEMMA!!

If I were in the place of her fiance in this case, I would accept/marry her. If she would tell me about it before marriage, i'd consider it to be very brave of her and would start respecting her more. If she would tell me after the marriage, it would come to me as a shock, but nonetheless, it won't make my attitude any different towards her.Main sochta k agar is ki jaga main bhi hota to shayad na keh paata. its a difficult thing to talk about. So shayad yeh bhi consequences se dar gai thi aur is liye nahi bataaya. Meray liye jo cheez matter kerti hai woh yeh hai k yeh larki abhi kya chaahti hai? If she wants to forget her past and live the rest of her life with me, to bas theek hai i won't ever remind her past to her. Agar yeh larki abhi bhi past main rehna chaahti hai, aur wants to have a relationship with her old bf, i'l let her go coz there won't be any point in staying together then.

I would advise your cousin/friend, not to consult any Molvi or Mufti. ITS YOUR MATTER. YOU SHOULD DECIDE IT. USE YOUR HEART AND BRAIN. TAKE YOUR OWN DECISIONS AND BE RESPONSIBLE FOR THEM. Molvis can only misguide you(not that all of them want to, but they eventually will).

Purity of men and women is an abstract concept. Mistakes should always be forgiven!

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Re: GIRLS!! Non-Virgin Bride DILEMMA!!

I agree with you, Shadan. Well said

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Thanks Mustaana Bhai!

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Re: GIRLS!! Non-Virgin Bride DILEMMA!!

:smack:

where have we come to, these threads…with due respect, is there really a need to discuss such matters in public? She shall consult Allah, not GS. GS is the wrong place. Allah knows best. When you do commit a sin, seek Allah, not human beings, because the majority will not understand and we really can’t you give a advise what to do…

112

I know man.
But girls more concentrate on making up excuses. Rather silly ones.
Its like breaking hubbs heart on first night what a present for new life.

113

I agree man,

But I think we shouldn't get mad at them for making excuses. We should rather think why are they making excuses? Why can't they just tell it like it is? I personally think, its because in our sociiety we've placed a very big burden of expectations on women. Things if boys do, would be acceptable or atleast forgivable or atleast understandable, but girls don't enjoy the same luxury. Girls have to be perfect to be accepted. Too many taboos for them. But eventually, they are humans and imperfect like us, thats why they fear if they tell the truth, they might be rejected by their families, inlaws, hubbies etc. Thats why they have to pretend tooo many things in order not to be rejected.

So I'd just say I'd try to get the fear out of her heart and would make her and myself more comfortable in sharing things with each other!

Animal Fights
114

We all do bad deeds during some part of our lives...so it is better to forgive those who want to change their lives for better....

Again, this girl must access herself physically. Believe me, it will turn a nightmare if her husband doesn't get pleasure...just forget bleeding for a moment here.......and they boy should tell this too through friends, etc whether he is healthy and fit.....or been into bad habits.....

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Re: GIRLS!! Non-Virgin Bride DILEMMA!!

things is ..ur cuzin shuda told this guy b4 anything had gone ahead...they r engaged now and its abit late to feel guilt...coz she has given this guy alil bit of a fls hope...when she told him about her past relationship she shuda told him the whole thing...or not said anything at all

now either confess to the mistake...becuz she will have to lie and lie and lie to prtect this truth! so if she loves him she wud be up front and honest as this guy has the right to knw the truth! coz think about it...wudn't u wana be informed...its best to come frm her than anyone els in the future!

but if u still wanna hide it and not say anything and still want to plz ur in laws with a blooded **** [which is very stupid and very cultured and i hate it] then i guess she needs to go see a doc..there r surgryz available to put back the hymen in its place... i read about this on the bbc news site as some girl was faced with the same situation and this was her way out] it's gonna cost alot tho!

or u can just not say anything... as ppl r educated to realise tht the hymen can actually break in many diff ways not jus one! u never knw he might not even make it an issue:)

but i still say...go with the truth... and just hope for the best...u never knw...maybe ALLAH may 4give her for at lst trying to be honest with her hubby to be...remember the real task is to admit ur mistake and take full responsibiliti 4 it...thts the only way u can even start to think about being 4given

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Though you rephrased it, thanks, but you still arent making any sense.

~*~ Time Pass June 2012 ~*~
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Re: GIRLS!! Non-Virgin Bride DILEMMA!!

BunnyHoney I believe you have plenty of advice in this thread. if you wish to keep this thread unlocked for more advice please let me know.