hey girls!
hope ur all well…
Those who got married and moved abroad how did u guys feel? esp those from Pakistan..?
How was the whole experience, new life…new country?
Re: Girls-married and moved abroad...
interesting
Re: Girls-married and moved abroad...
From what I've heard, friends that have moved from pak to Canada hated it specially if they didn't have close relatives nearby. It's worse when u don't have any family, friends, husbands at work all day and the girl doesn't have a job or go to school.
Marriage itself is a new experience ;)
On top of that if you moved abroad it's a mixed experience.Excitement of a new life in a new country with a new person plus anxiety as well.
I miss my country alot specially when it's festiv time.I miss my home badly when I am sick or sad and when it's summer vacation (mango and lichy time).
Yeah I miss my country,my people, my friends and my home alot :(
Re: Girls-married and moved abroad...
Interesting topic. :)
One of my cousins moved from Pakistan to America and loved the whole new experience because of the freedom she got after marriage e.g. she was able to go out alone without pervy men teasing her, she was able to go shopping alone, she was able to go to Mechanics to get car fixed etc - things she couldn't do in Pakistan. She doesn't want to go back to Pakistan. Lol. When I went to visit her few years after marriage, she was a changed person, so confident and happy with her new life.
My Aunt moved from England to Pakistan b/c her Hubby is in the Army. She enjoys her life as Husband sends her back to England every year for few months to see family and she gets to travel a lot being in the Army. Never heard her complain about living in Pakistan and she always seems so content.
Re: Girls-married and moved abroad...
Will share another experience of my 1st cousin who moved from England to Pakistan - as she had a love marriage.
She became depressed b/c of lack of activities and was always so miserable with her new-life in Pakistan. After marriage she lived with in-laws - which her fiance promised wouldn't happen. She felt her Husband tricked her some how to moving to Pakistan, broke all promises he made to her before marriage, and was a competely different person after marriage. She said she had lost the lover she fell in love with.
She felt she didn't get her freedom and privacy, started having a lot of probs' with in-laws/ Hubby b/c she found it really hard to settle there, understand their way of life etc and she wasn't used to life there. B/c of depression she wasn't getting pregnant either. She always complained she was always bored.
I think she put a lot of effort in as she stayed there for 5 years without coming back to England for holidays! She refused to go on a holiday saying it would just make her more depressed, knowing she'd have to go back to Pakistan! She wasn't close to her parents/ siblings and was angry with them as she felt they left her to get on with her own life after marriage.
But b/c we loved her so much, my family and I decided to help her come back to England. We all bought her a small but cosy house, put money aside for her and told her that she had a chance to come back to England. It took her over a year to convince her Husband to move to England. She wasn't happy with him - but she didn't want to give up on him. She broke up with her in-laws over this decision.
Even though she has a smaller house with no servants in England - she is the happiest person ever. She sends money to in-laws every month even though they don't talk to her. She has two beautiful children and is happy with her life and Husband. She was just used to life in England.
Re: Girls-married and moved abroad...
i agree with iggle.i guess i like it in europe because there is a lot of freedom for me to move about.but i guess i also have to thank my hubby to let me do what i want to do like going out an doing things because i know women who moved from pakistan to europe and are miserable because their husband were really narrow minded and didnt want their wives to go out of home.so for them i guess life is really miserable.
in pakistan it is still difficult for girls to drive and shop on their own etc.here it is no problem.so many activities to do if you want to take part in them.
but on the down side if you dont have your family or friends around,it does get lonely.but on the plus side,if you are not living with your in laws,you are totally independant and queen of your home;)
thats is why i dont feel like moving back to pk as such
Re: Girls-married and moved abroad...
^ Lol at being Queen of your home! Totally agree to that feeling! :)
My Husband's side mostly live in Pakistan and after marriage they wanted us to move there to live with them.
I guess we felt there were better job opportunities for us here and a better lifestyle too. I couldn't have lived in Pakistan as Honey Buney said it is difficult to go out alone and drive etc and is such a big change. I enjoy my freedom too much and I am too used to of life here! Lol. :)
Re: Girls-married and moved abroad...
I was born and raised in the US (and am not Pakistani), but moved to Pakistan for a short time when my oldest kids were small. I ended up teaching while I was there because I was so depressed at home. By the end I was counting the days and hours till we left, as I am just not used to the slow pace of life or waiting for someone to take me everywhere. There were a few times I missed the servants after we left, but not enough to move back. We lived in Dubai, and while I enjoyed the comfort, I felt somewhat restricted. The UK is just too expensive, so we are happier back in the US.
I ended up teaching while I was there because I was so depressed at home. By the end I was counting the days and hours till we left, as I am just not used to the slow pace of life or waiting for someone to take me everywhere.
Even when I would go on holidays to Pakistan for a month it felt too long! The days would drag past so slowly and I always had to wait for someone to take me out which was so annoying!
Once I was so bored that my cousins and I took a taxi to Saddar, Pindi and got the biggest telling-off when we got home b/c we went without a male! We couldn't understand the big deal as we lived so close to Saddar and no-one else wanted to take us saying it was too hot!
This is why I love life in England b/c at least I can go out alone without a male. Lol. :)
Re: Girls-married and moved abroad...
Nice stories
some men/families actually prefer bahus from Pkaistan b/c they believe that since she is so used to the restrictions there...they can keep her on a short leash here. And if that girl happens to think that going anywhere out of pak is freedom...that's a hellish marriage/life right there. No doubt some women enjoy their lives fully in pakistan, i know a few, but knowing the type of family i have there (great people but extremely conservative), err i'd kill myself if i had to live my life there.