know too many girls who got married during education majority of them were becoming doctors or were doing MBAs and continued studies after marriage. the in-laws were supportive and the couples planned to have babies later when the girl is done with education.
i personally think if girls can take care of the kids and the home along with working after marriage then they can do that along with studies too. Although its much better if one gets married after finishing education.
^ I have started seeing it like this too. I did not before but now I kinda do. I know of people who have managed well,but then again I don't really know the inside story. But this is how I see it, if you can work after marriage, although I know it is different, study to an extend can be seen as the same thing. In a way studying should be easier, there is more flexibility in hours, most unis/lecturers are accommodating, there's usually summer semesters and things like that..etc. I think it really just comes down to who you marry, or else studying after marriage really should not be that difficult.If you plan to have a career and work after marriage, studying after marriage is kind of the same thing. Yes, it will have its challenges, but everything does.
I dont think anyone, guy or girl, should get married before they are done with everything. Get educated, get a job, do some savings and then get married.
Why even get married? Why not wait until you're dead? Would be easier.
It is never too late to get an education. There maybe distractions though, in most cases. When I got married, my husband had lost his job so he took whatever job came his way and I had to do one as well to pay off the bills. Then, after a while, people will start asking you when you are having a baby. Apart from all that, you will have to run errands yourself, instead of having your parents do it for you. You can wake up late, not have to worry about cleaning the house, pay bills, pay for anything when you’re broke because the parents have it done for you.
So if you consider yourself mentally and physically strong enough to deal with it all at once, then no problem! You can even take your courses part time.
Because most people would say realistically it's only the minority..
yes, many girls. this is what i have seen in my circle and family. My own sister and my 2 bhabhis continued with their education after marriage. All three of them were already professionally qualified at the time of their marriages and yet they wanted to pursue more degrees and some find it funny that one of my bhabhi is not career oriented and does not intend to work but she wanted to study because she loves to.
then i have my cousins who got married right after college, took some break and then started their masters programs afterwards. Some of my own friends from school, got married during their MBBS and then did their specialization later on.
^Yeah but using examples from your (or my) circle doesn't necessarily mean it's easy or widely acceptable..
Amongst our close friends and family it's a given that all women should have the right to work or study after marriage as well, that they'll move into a separate home from their inlaws and they'll live the way they wish.. This is still quite uncommon in our culture as a whole tho..
My Mum also married whilst studying then continued and worked after marriage and she married 30-odd years ago.. For every one example there are probably ten who aren't able to..
know too many girls who got married during education majority of them were becoming doctors or were doing MBAs and continued studies after marriage. the in-laws were supportive and the couples planned to have babies later when the girl is done with education.
i personally think if girls can take care of the kids and the home along with working after marriage then they can do that along with studies too. Although its much better if one gets married after finishing education.
In all of South Florida, we have a handful of people who continued medical degrees and practice after marriage. I have continued to practice, and will practice after marriage, so that's one. Then a friend of mine who is a radiologist. Her mom is raising the girl's children though, and now runs around advocating to people that women shouldn't go to medical school. Shockers. She went up to my mom and told her that she made a mistake sending me to grad school. Meanwhile daughter is a radiologist. Then we have another who is a radiologist, but her mom is white...so does she count? She has been innately born with more common sense and ability to live in 2015 as a modern woman than our paindoo ladies. So not sure if that example counts. Another guy's wife is working on a as a nurse, but part time, but she's puerto rican, so that doesn't count. Then we have assorted housewives of middle ages who took to becoming teacher's aides. That became a huge thing. But they're home by 2 or 3 pm, which is why it's such an appealing job. Not sure if that counts. I can say there are probably 20 or so women doing this job after marriage. Then there is one lady who is a doctor from Pakistan, she doesn't practice here cuz she could never pass the steps. Pregnancy makes a woman's IQ go down, she just couldn't manage with kid after kid. Another girl also from Pak who got accepted to med school there, and married here, and her parents convinced her to give up the med school dreams to get married because you know, there is a green card and citizenship coming your way. Her MIL got her preggers with one baby after another after promises to allow her to do med school here. She warned me about this, and told me at the age of 19 when I met her that DO NOT GET MARRIED - do your med school first, otherwise them ****es will get you pregnant and then you won't get to finish school. Then there are a few women doctors practicing in the area - I can count like 3 or 4 that I know of personally, and then there are about another 2 or 3 that I've heard about from others.
When I was in high school, over 10 years ago, there was an article in the paper stating there are an estimated 50,000 Pakistanis living in South Florida. Now, the number is easily 75K.
And that's how many female docs we have and females working in real careers.
U need a support system. I finished my undergrad and got married + had a baby in that time, it was probably the toughest thing i've ever done. I had plans to go to med school but there's no support, so i'm just waiting for my son to start school and i'll apply for a Masters program then. My huband 'supports' me... but it's just verbal support. He can't look after my son or sacrifice his time/help me out at home... but he still wants to me pursue further education. If u want to pursue education after marriage, u need a hands-on supportive spouse + ILs/family.. otherwise it is nearly impossible, IMO.
Why even get married? Why not wait until you're dead? Would be easier.
You try that and let me know how it goes.
A friend of mine got married in the first semester, and got pregnant shortly after that. Took the second semester off. MIL turned in to a witch, and refused to look after the baby while DIL was taking classes. So my friend's baby used to get severe rashes because no one changed his diaper. You want to do that to your baby, sure go ahead.
MIL turned in to a witch, and refused to look after the baby while DIL was taking classes. So my friend's baby used to get severe rashes because no one changed his diaper.
The city you friend lived in didn't have daycare or nannies? No one in your friend's family was willing to watch the baby? I am the first person to support the idea that a woman needs to get formal education. But that does not justify neglecting a baby that a woman chose to have. Unless the MIL agreed to babysit a infant/toddler BEFORE the nikah, there is no reason anyone should automatically expect a MIL to do it. In this story, it's your friend who sounds like the witch for continuing to leave her baby even after knowing that the baby wasn't being taken care of.
You try that and let me know how it goes.
A friend of mine got married in the first semester, and got pregnant shortly after that. Took the second semester off. MIL turned in to a witch, and refused to look after the baby while DIL was taking classes. So my friend's baby used to get severe rashes because no one changed his diaper. You want to do that to your baby, sure go ahead.
Who told her to get pregnant while she was still in school? Had she never hear of Birth Control?
People are forgetting one major factor: $$$
Before marriage, studying means you or parents are paying tuition.
After marriage, that burden falls to husband or in-laws. If a baby is added to the mix, a good daycare costs an arm and a leg. Yes some in-laws are ok with investing money in your training ONLY when they know there is a big pay-off later (doctor Bahu) but otherwise most in-laws will grow agitated with this over time. Same thing with if u work and study at the same time, husbands will slowly start believing the money you earned to pay your tuition could have put into savings or helped pay off car/house/etc.
If you expect your parents to help with tuition after marriage, that's a bit unfair also.
The city you friend lived in didn't have daycare or nannies? No one in your friend's family was willing to watch the baby? I am the first person to support the idea that a woman needs to get formal education. But that does not justify neglecting a baby that a woman chose to have. Unless the MIL agreed to babysit a infant/toddler BEFORE the nikah, there is no reason anyone should automatically expect a MIL to do it. In this story, it's your friend who sounds like the witch for continuing to leave her baby even after knowing that the baby wasn't being taken care of.
My friend belonged to a very well to do family, her husband wasnt that well off comparatively. Needless to say it was a love marriage. Her dad had only one condition for accepting the proposal: that her daughter will be allowed to complete her education. This was accepted by the seemingly doting MIL. The university was quite expensive, and her father was going to foot the bill.
My friend didnt even have to lift a finger in her house, but she did everything from mopping to laundry after marriage. Her father also bought them a car. I mean my friend was contributing SO MUCH to the marriage. After the death of her FIL, the MIL completely transformed and asked her to leave university. That is why she refused to look after her grandson, so that his suffering will make my friend leave her education.
As far as day care is concerned, she did ultimately found one. Her own family was in a different city. So now you tell me who is the witch here?
Apart from all that, you will have to run errands yourself, instead of having your parents do it for you. You can wake up late, not have to worry about cleaning the house, pay bills, pay for anything when you’re broke because the parents have it done for you.