Re: Girls living alone...
... So what does a divorced woman who has no means of supporting herself do in that case.....
She can go to a homeless shelter. I know a Pakistani lady in the GTA who had no choice but to to move into one with her two young daughters after her divorce. No family support. No financial support. Nothing. She stayed at the shelter for quite a while .... she pulled her life together and is now remarried with her own legal business.
Re: Girls living alone...
So what's the crack after 8 pages then? Am I doomed forever cos I cannit cross me legs properly after living alone, do I need to attend 'how to be a good mother' course, can I buy back my izzat from fleabay?
I dunno man, I dunno how to cross my legs properly and i've never lived alone.
She can go to a homeless shelter. I know a Pakistani lady in the GTA who had no choice but to to move into one with her two young daughters after her divorce. No family support. No financial support. Nothing. She stayed at the shelter for quite a while .... she pulled her life together and is now remarried with her own legal business.
I'm glad things worked out for her :)
Re: Girls living alone...
Which is why every woman should be educated/independent. Unfortunately those who think it's unnecessary live in some fantasy world. :-/
Thumbs up!
I know of many girls who got married while they were in university or post high school without establishing themselves at all. Currently, they are entirely dependent on their husbands for finances and getting around. I mean, that's the choice they made and that is ok too but that kind of a lifestyle really scares me! I want to have a career, a decent job etc. just to have a sense of security. That way I will also be able to provide comfort/peace of mind to my husband, like if he knows that I can contribute incase we come across hard times financially etc. To me, it's team work rather than women depending on their husbands entirely.
Re: Girls living alone...
Don't you guys have to take out a loan in order to get your degree done? I have often thought of going back to studies but I don't want to be in debt...it won't give me the sense of independence, will it?
To me, independence is a state of mind and if you have it you can make the life work for you.
Re: Girls living alone…
Milly you are one of bravest people for living away from home … we don’t know your reasons … and as a teacher - you deal with kids every day - longer than their parents and whole groups of them … 
your izzat was never on fleabay to begin with … and crossing legs is not important.
Re: Girls living alone...
Don't you guys have to take out a loan in order to get your degree done? I have often thought of going back to studies but I don't want to be in debt...it won't give me the sense of independence, will it?
To me, independence is a state of mind and if you have it you can make the life work for you.
College isn't for everyone. You can be independent without a college degree, no use getting yourself into debt for a lame degree, especially with the current state of the economy.
Re: Girls living alone...
Okies, so was it that I dont know how to cross my legs? This leg business has proper confused us :/
You know my grandparents are like the most old school of old school one can get, no likey jean de pent, no likey hair open or shorter then shoulder length type of old school. When I told my grandad that I would have to live alone in the the city in which I got my first job he replied 'I know a banda that lives there, make sure you visit his family, especially when you need feeding.'
All those examples of lasses wearing pvc skirts when they live alone and stuff happens everywhere, whether they are living at home or living alone. Living arrangments have nowt to do with character, attitude, morals and values. Not mine anyway, iv always been a kutti no matter where and how iv lived. :D
Re: Girls living alone...
Okies, so was it that I dont know how to cross my legs? This leg business has proper confused us :/
You know my grandparents are like the most old school of old school one can get, no likey jean de pent, no likey hair open or shorter then shoulder length type of old school. When I told my grandad that I would have to live alone in the the city in which I got my first job he replied 'I know a banda that lives there, make sure you visit him, especially when you need feeding.'
All those examples of lasses wearing pvc skirts when they live alone and stuff happens everywhere, whether they are living at home or living alone. Living arrangments have nowt to do with character, attitude, morals and values. Not mine anyway, iv always been a kutti no matter where and how iv lived. :D
So grandad must have done pungra when you left and the man he sent you to was his enemy ... :D
Re: Girls living alone...
So what's the crack after 8 pages then? Am I doomed forever cos I cannit cross me legs properly after living alone, do I need to attend 'how to be a good mother' course, can I buy back my izzat from fleabay?
If you're truly serious about saving your izzat and not being one of "those" girls......you should start by giving up the g-strings and switching to granny panties. And for the love of God....stop sitting on boys laps! ;)
Re: Girls living alone...
If you're truly serious about saving your izzat and not being one of "those" girls......you should start by giving up the g-strings and switching to granny panties. And for the love of God....stop sitting on boys laps! ;)
Woah dude, who said anything about wearing knickers!
Re: Girls living alone...
I know of many girls who got married while they were in university or post high school without establishing themselves at all. Currently, they are entirely dependent on their husbands for finances and getting around. I mean, that's the choice they made and that is ok too but that kind of a lifestyle really scares me! I want to have a career, a decent job etc. just to have a sense of security. That way I will also be able to provide comfort/peace of mind to my husband, like if he knows that I can contribute incase we come across hard times financially etc. To me, it's team work rather than women depending on their husbands entirely.
^ Agreed!
I've known plenty of women whose lives turned upside down when their husband lost their job or could not work due to medical reasons. And those women were not in a position to support the family or contribute at all financially due to their lack of education and/or work experience. Let's not forget all the horror stories about young widows who end up at the mercy of their parents/siblings/in-laws when their husband passes away.
Everyone is free to make their own choices. But the thought of not being able to contribute financially to my family if that need ever arises....OR not being able to support myself and kids if my husband dies is terrifying to me.
Re: Girls living alone...
So grandad must have done pungra when you left and the man he sent you to was his enemy ... :D
My dadda ji is The Don. Everyone is his dushman, it's the way we roll! We've taken many a family to the mattresses ;)
Re: Girls living alone...
Independence - ultimately lies only with God ... we are not only dependant on Him, but interependent too ... When a wife is given the divine right to have her husbands income - she recognises that as being dependent on Allah's rizq not on her husband's income ... These are merely "the means" that Allah (SWT) chooses ...
So why is one "means" i.e. earning yourself better than another "means" having a husband earn for you ... or parents or children for that matter or government funds !!!
People who rely on education ARE dependant on it and also dependant on their interviewers and dependent on their funds that they already were getting from somehwere ...
People who work are not financially independent ... a tramp who has been living for 18 years under a round about in West London is more independent than I ... he lives without being dependent on an income not dependent on a roof not dependent on much really ...
Financial independence in the consumer circles means being so rich that you don't have to work and still you are able to buy things and go on holdiays ... For a woman or a man to get a job - is she/he that independent?
Independence in the context of a state of mind ... is being able to choose freely and not necessarily being able to exercise ones choice freely as that would be freedom ... independence can be being able to live alone if need arises but also being able to live with others ... but why should a person throw away the life of living as a wife and mother only so she feel independently alone?
As I said earlier you don't have to be alone to be independent ... and there are many people who live alone and are very dependent.
Re: Girls living alone...
i think in the west its common and safe for girls to live alone in their apartments for work/school reasons and no one judges them. i dunno abt pakistan.
Re: Girls living alone...
Independence - ultimately lies only with God ... we are not only dependant on Him, but interependent too ... When a wife is given the divine right to have her husbands income - she recognises that as being dependent on Allah's rizq not on her husband's income ... These are merely "the means" that Allah (SWT) chooses ...
So why is one "means" i.e. earning yourself better than another "means" having a husband earn for you ... or parents or children for that matter or government funds !!!
People who rely on education ARE dependant on it and also dependant on their interviewers and dependent on their funds that they already were getting from somehwere ...
Financial independence in the consumer circles means being so rich that you don't have to work and still you are able to buy things and go on holdiays ... For a woman or a man to get a job - is she/he that independent? ** but why should a person **throw away the life of living as a wife and mother only so she feel independently alone?
Im sorry if you take this with an angry tone :) but you will never be in a position where YOU are dependent on your wife's income so it's easy for you to put down women who value education and being able to earn for themselves.
Wives may have the right to the income but guess what? there are men who refuse to support their wives, who use their status as a breadwinner to emotionally/physically abuse their wives. You live in a true fantasy world if you don't think this happens.
Rather than just praying and wishing that he'll change, women should be armed with the means to support themselves so that they don't fall into that situation where they have to ask others for money. so..yes..it IS better for them to go out and earn their own money rather than have to ask their parents, siblings, children for money.
For sake of discussion, financial independence means: being able to pay for the roof over your head, food on your table, to get around places, and to afford other life's necessities....rather than having the spouse pay for everything.
and where did you get that women will throw away the roles of wife/mother for independence???? no one here has suggested that at all...like...seriously?
Re: Girls living alone...
Living arrangments have nowt to do with character, attitude, morals and values. Not mine anyway, iv always been a kutti no matter where and how iv lived. :D
Big fat kiss for that last line.