When does a guy cross boundaries regarding a girl’s income ?
Re: Girl's Income
Depends on whether the relationship is considered to be a joint venture, a sole proprietorship, an acquisition or a partnership.
Also depends on whether any of the partners was imported, outsourced or leased for a specific purpose.
Re: Girl's Income
the mere mention of it.
girl's kamaai is paleeet.
Re: Girl’s Income
aurat ki kamai.. paap re paap 
Re: Girl's Income
aurat kii kamaaii = pimp's income
Re: Girl's Income
when a girl crosses boundaries regarding a guys income?
Re: Girl's Income
Depends on whether the relationship is considered to be a joint venture, a sole proprietorship, an acquisition or a partnership.
Also depends on whether any of the partners was imported, outsourced or leased for a specific purpose.
haha! best reply ever. I think..every couple is different. BUT...God us made men "kawamun"..that means..the one takes care of them. Given, how family situation is that..both husband and wife need to be working nowadays to keep up the living standard. So one should find balance between both. Now..about sharing girl's income..it's a big no no in my book personally. My father always reminds me that...it is Men's responsibility to provide shelter, food on the table for his family. And never rely on your wife financially. If she does it out of her own will..then it is her reward. And if she doesn't..then you do what you need to do and seek reward from Allah..
Re: Girl's Income
I'm of the opinion that the wife's income is hers and the husband (and especially her inlaws) has no claim over it. So he should be providing the basics according to his capacity (food, shelter, clothing, transport). If the wife wants anything beyond what is in his capacity, it's fair if he asks her to cover the difference with her own income.
Re: Girl's Income
when a girl crosses boundaries regarding a guys income?
When she asks him to pay for her brothers wedding.
Re: Girl's Income
There have been loads of comments regarding the issue of "her money" and "his money" and the issue of bank accounts. Why can't people compromise? It would be good idea for people to have two bank accounts: a joint bank account with their spouse for household expenditures and the like and a personal account for personal expenses and divide their money accordingly with a portion of it going towards the household and another portion going towards their person expenses. That's what my parents have always done.
I have never understood married women who have this idea that "my money is mine, don't touch it." I can understand a woman saying this if she a single and living independently (as in living by herself and paying all her own expenses). However, in marriage there is no "independence" as marriage consists of two people working together. This isn't to say that people aren't entitled to keep some of their income for their own personal use or that they must be completely and utterly dependent on the other person, but the idea that people can be totally "independent" in marriage is a bit odd to me.
Another thing that sounds odd to me is this idea of "I'm an independent woman and should be able to do as I please, BUT my husband must support me and pay for the household." If women are as independent as many claim to be, there should be no issue in contributing to household expenses. This does not mean that they should have to pay for all household expenses in addition to their husbands' expenses, while the husband has complete control over their finances. I stated in the “Your humble opinion” thread about the gentleman who wants his wife to pay for his exams and all household expenses while he hoards his own money that I viewed that situation as wrong. I find it equally wrong for a woman to expect her husband to pay all her expenses in addition to all household expenses, while she hoards her own money because “my money is mine.”
Honestly though, the idea of equally contributing to the household does not only apply to marriage. If you are living with another person for whatever reason (i.e. roommate, adult children living with their parents, temporarily living with family members, etc.), it is only fair that you contribute to the household as you live there as well. Personally, I was never raised with the idea that “my money is mine.” My parents always taught my brother and myself that if you reside in a place, you are equally responsible for contributing to its upkeep, financially and otherwise. When I began my first job during my last year of high school, my parents began asking me to make small contributions to the household expenses. Realistically, my parents didn’t need my help in any way and the pittance I contributed from my meager salary from my little part-time job at Primark wasn’t enough to actually help with anything, but the idea was to instill a sense of financial responsibility towards the household which I was a part of.
Re: Girl's Income
^there there....... your concepts aren't refined yet... don't worry....few months on life1....and you will have yours fixed too.....
from what little i know.......this , below, is the gist of it.
Woman ''should'' work after marriage, to fulfill her desires etc.......... the husband must support her decision......HE should provide all the expenses and gift diamond rings etc from time to time........ He shouldn't even talk about what she earns....... and no chai, no paratha, he can make his own food.........and lets not forget...he has to take care of at least 50% of household chores too.....oh...and not spend a penny of his on any of his family members without prior permission from the wife........ and finally.......to not have his parents/family live with him for whatever reason.....
ladies..correct me if i got anything wrong...my apologies for any mistakes....
Re: Girl's Income
^ Sounds more like an indentured servant than a husband. If that is what women want, what is in it for the poor guy? :p
Re: Girl's Income
^ Sounds more like an indentured servant than a husband. If that is what women want, what is in it for the poor guy? :p
you think i am being funny? this is really what women want...... ready any thread here..... and the precise reason why girls find it hard to find a rishta...
Re: Girl's Income
^I'm rather surprised that this is what women really want. The type of husband you described sounds like a pushover with no personality, communication skills, or conviction (or backbone for that matter) whatsoever. Terribly unattractive, in my view.
Girl's Income
The mindset on GS is soo weird. Never do I come across such mentalities in real life. Pretty much agreed with you Mez. I'm not sure what this thread is even asking. I seriously don't see the big deal in the scenario from the humble opinion thread only because they are newly weds. Like geez, give it at least a year? Or don't marry someone you have nothing in common with.
In a more general sense, if one person is working harder than the other for the other person to only be at home free loading off their spouses income is a deadbeat in any culture, be it man or woman. Actually no let me take that back, for us in the Indo/Pak community. a woman CAN stay at home and free load off her husband but if the man was to be doing that, it's a big no no. I'm so confused. Where is there room for compromise and marital values. I'm just so confused. Obviously everyone needs to pull their weight in any way they can, whatever their role in the marriage may be. You already know who will be making most of the money before you marry them. Boundaries are crossed when one is being mistreated and being taken advantage of. Why do we keep counting money as a standard for two people already in a marriage? Woman demand the freedom to make their own choices and be given the ability to walk out and work to earn but how dare your spouse ask you contribute or ask you for help. That's crossing a boundary? What do woman want for peets sake? Haven't we got what we asked for but we are still complaining?
PCG I'm just curious about the kinds of guys you encounter since your on the rishta scene. I assume your a well educated and established in your career type of girl, so how is it that the guys you talk to aren't of at least the same caliber? Or close? Where are all these paindus coming from that you need make some of the most obvious things clear. You mentioned in the last thread that make it clear that both people will equally be working to run the house to help weed out the bad ones so how often do you have to do that? How come people of the opposite end of the spectrum even make it to the chopping block? I'm just curious because none of the girls in my family had this issue. It was never about money, that always matched it was more of a persons values and differences in upbringing.
Re: Girl's Income
When does a guy cross boundaries regarding a girl's income ?
Weren't you the one who said husbands should pay their wives' tuition debt? That's the boundary right there.
Re: Girl's Income
^there there....... your concepts aren't refined yet... don't worry....few months on life1....and you will have yours fixed too.....
from what little i know.......this , below, is the gist of it.
Woman ''should'' work after marriage, to fulfill her desires etc.......... the husband must support her decision......HE should provide all the expenses and gift diamond rings etc from time to time........ He shouldn't even talk about what she earns....... and no chai, no paratha, he can make his own food.........and lets not forget...he has to take care of at least 50% of household chores too.....oh...and not spend a penny of his on any of his family members without prior permission from the wife........ and finally.......to not have his parents/family live with him for whatever reason.....
ladies..correct me if i got anything wrong...my apologies for any mistakes....
This. If you want to know what life1 is all about, in a nutshell. It's this right here.
Re: Girl's Income
If a husband's money is considered the wife's then should be the other way around too if both are earning. I know people will start quoting me the Hadith about how a woman's paisa is her own but real life doesn't work out like that.
Obviously I am not saying you have a sit at home aadmi doing ayashi on biwi's paisa but you get my point.
Re: Girl's Income
If a husband's money is considered the wife's then should be the other way around too if both are earning. I know people will start quoting me the Hadith about how a woman's paisa is her own but real life doesn't work out like that.
Obviously I am not saying you have a sit at home aadmi doing ayashi on biwi's paisa but you get my point.
I agree with you in a way dude. That if we want to raise or keep up the living standard here..both couple needs to be planning and working out stuff accordingly. In our household..be it my sisters or myself. We are taught to be responsible. In our house..my sisters feel obliged to contribute..although..my father never asked them about their money. And according to them..they want to show their care and love toward our dad this way.
Re: Girl's Income
I agree with you in a way dude. That if we want to raise or keep up the living standard here..both couple needs to be planning and working out stuff accordingly. In our household..be it my sisters or myself. We are taught to be responsible. In our house..my sisters feel obliged to contribute..although..my father never asked them about their money. And according to them..they want to show their care and love toward our dad this way.
Pretty much! I know everyone asks for compromises and this comes under that. I'd find it a bit heartless for the woman to keep every cent she earns to herself while the man slaves away.