Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out
I persoanlly think that its quite pathetic if a guy is not able to support or provide for his family on his own. There’s a technical difference between you living with your parents and youre parents living wiht you, the latter being as you described, your house and you pay teh bills while ure parents chill and relax and dont gotta worry about it anymore.. If I ultimately had to live with inlaws, i’d rather it be that way than the former: his father and mother still running the house and paying the bills..it just doesnt seem right to me taht they still be doing that, i’ll just feel like another kid, instead of a wife.. if that makes any sense..
My only concern for when I marry is who will look after my mother. But i’ guess im saved from that headache for a few years :hinna:
Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out
I agree with you. its the same as living with ur own family. I know of many girls who dont get on with their own family (bros/sis/parents)…they have fights etc…so when they move in with inlaws they have the same problems.
I think in a family where there is love, there wont be any problems (be it your own parents or inlaws). everyone should just respect each other
parisenoor -its nice to know that even though u were not born pakistani, ur more of a pakistani than some of these ABCDs
ps. are u going to move in with ur in laws in Pakistan?
Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out
And yes, I would considor divorce or separation if my wife insists of moving out.
I dont have any problem with ur thinking. in fact its good that u want to live with ur parents :)
however, as you know there are alot of girls who wouldnt want to live with inlaws....so instead of telling your wife AFTER the nikah.....tell her before what you expect of her....that way you will save a divorce
Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out
my parents gave me full permission to move out and live on my own after marriage.they have no problem with that. so hopefully this will never be an issue between me and my wife or her and my parents. they know times have changed and so have expectations and family values. after far taking care of parents [mine and hers] i'm a responsible person. by marrying her i'm also accepting her parents as my own and i'd never EVER treat them differently than my own parents.
Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out
You have to look at the actual question here. As in "In the WEST"...
I admit I skipped many responses here, but as a westerner who has seen the lifestyle of Desis, I think I can understand both sides.
In the east, life is laid-back and beautiful, houses are HUGE, each couple has their own bathroom, there is household help, workdays are shorter, etc.
In the west, there is no household help for the vast majority of us anyway, houses are tiny, often with one bathroom for the entire family, or maybe 1 and a half (meaning one shower but 2 toilets), workdays are very long, vacation time is short.
Completely different cultures, not one better than another but very very different. Western culture doesnt leave time enough just for a husband and wife, doesnt have enough room for more than them and their offspring. So it really isnt all that selfish to want to have the very little time for yourself, spouse and kiddies/
Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out
You have to look at the actual question here. As in "In the WEST"...
I admit I skipped many responses here, but as a westerner who has seen the lifestyle of Desis, I think I can understand both sides.
In the east, life is laid-back and beautiful, houses are HUGE, each couple has their own bathroom, there is household help, workdays are shorter, etc.
In the west, there is no household help for the vast majority of us anyway, houses are tiny, often with one bathroom for the entire family, or maybe 1 and a half (meaning one shower but 2 toilets), workdays are very long, vacation time is short.
Completely different cultures, not one better than another but very very different. Western culture doesnt leave time enough just for a husband and wife, doesnt have enough room for more than them and their offspring. So it really isnt all that selfish to want to have the very little time for yourself, spouse and kiddies/
Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out
I kinda miss my house in Pak. it was very nice and big , i had a king size bed , my own bathroom but its alright.. i still like my house here, at least here i have my freedom and all.. nice house and help wont make up for that..
Re: Girls in the west, after shaadi want to move out
Mamaof3, you're so right. You look at the houses in Pakistan, and they're totally set up for combined living. Everyone has their own bedroom and bathroom, the walls are thick, and in many cases, the young married couple has their own sitting area and maybe even a kitchenette. And you have so much domestic help that it leaves you with a lot of free time.
Here, the walls are thin, floorplans are compact, and only the master bedroom has it's own private bathroom. It can be pretty challenging to have a combined living system here. In NY, though, I noticed there's a lot of two family homes. Basically, it's two apartments in one house, and those look like they'd be better at supporting a joing living system.
But i’ guess im saved from that headache for a few years :hinna:
but its alright.. i still like my house here, at least here i have my freedom and all.. nice house and help wont make up for that..