the guys parents are not agreeing for his marriage with you, will you still insist him to convince his parents? do you think all the effort worth it? i know the power of love can make you to many insane things, but dont you think you have to convince the guy for every single thing for the rest of your life? and in our culture where parents not only guide us but also (99%) protect relationships (e.g. if wife cant his husband of him coming late, then his wife can for sure ask him why is he doing that and stop doing it), do you think its good to marry where except for the guy, no one is willing to accept you. even if they accept you, but are not willing to help you in any way. (may be they will in near future, but only God knows how much time it will take).
ps. its not my story. at least three couples i know facing the situation.
i would really try my best but after trying i would not marry him but i would have a broken heart n so will he hmm just thinking abt it is kina making me feel bad!
If parents don't accept - and the guy is waiting on parents approval - then you must run and hide ASAP. Never ever show your face again to them.
If the guy does not care for parents approval, then you better believe he wants to make this work.
well if the guy proposes you then it is obvious that he wants to be with you and want to make it work.
if he doesn't care about his parents approval then not only girls should except any positive thing from the to-be-inlaws but also how can one say that guys behaviour wont be any less different with his wife as well? who dont care what she think.
do girls really want to be a part of the family, where their son (i mean the guy) already made a load of mess? where the guy disrespected everything in every possible way to get dream girl? do girls even bother to ask how is he handling the situation?
but sara, are we girls blind to see that if some guy is crazy about us then it is obvious that he has spontaneity in his actions and reflexes. and why dont we ever put ourselves in xoxo’s shoes.
does all the effort really worth it?
why people dont get marry to be happy, but if girl is acknowledging that no one is happy then for what she agrees to experiment with her life?
i would really try my best but after trying i would not marry him but i would have a broken heart n so will he hmm just thinking abt it is kina making me feel bad!
If parents don't accept - and the guy is waiting on parents approval - then you must run and hide ASAP. Never ever show your face again to them.
If the guy does not care for parents approval, then you better believe he wants to make this work.
i don't see why its so wrong if the guy is trying to convince his parents for you and trying to make things work and do things the right way ... i'm sure you'd feel alot different if the tables were turned and the grl had to convince her parents ... the guy caring for his parents approval just shows that he wants to do everything the right way and also is a family person who respects his family enough to convince them rather than just do his own thing
I guess one of hte points the thread starter is making is like..let’s say in a guys family they’re really strict about marriage, has to be with a certain ethnictiy in family whatever…and the dude goes against that..it shows how much respect he has for his own family and their traditions…if he can go behind his parents’ back whose to say he will treat his gf/wife with the same respect?
I agree with everything you said - that’s because your point of view was on the positive and caring side
However, us girls think of ALL the negatives all the time. :halo: So I just thought that if the guy is waiting for “approval” - it could also mean that the guy is NOT interested in marring as well…
the guys parents are not agreeing for his marriage with you, will you still insist him to convince his parents? do you think all the effort worth it? i know the power of love can make you to many insane things, but dont you think you have to convince the guy for every single thing for the rest of your life? and in our culture where parents not only guide us but also (99%) protect relationships (e.g. if wife cant his husband of him coming late, then his wife can for sure ask him why is he doing that and stop doing it), do you think its good to marry where except for the guy, no one is willing to accept you. even if they accept you, but are not willing to help you in any way. (may be they will in near future, but only God knows how much time it will take).
ps. its not my story. at least three couples i know facing the situation.
There is no direct answer for this situation or so i think cuz it really depends on the real situation n circumstances. I know i would be very concerned if i am going in a marriage where the guy's parents are not accepting of me cuz....
1) For me marriage is not only about the union of two people but their families too.
2) If they are not accepting me and i think they have no genuine reason to do so, then that had make me feel not rite abt that family so why step into something which already seems troublesome.
3) No matter what even if the guy is wanting to marry u against his parents wishes it wl alarm me cuz if a guy can go against his parents wishes then he can do so for anybody at all including his wife.
Its very complicated and i rather extend my family with welcoming members and nt just barge into somebodys home n lives like an intruder or atleast i had feel so.
it all depends how much the couple loves each other, but generally the couple has to prepare themselves for a rough time for a while when elders are not supporting, It is specially hard for those who are brought up in a family environment and have never moved out on their own, on top of that they should be prepared for arguments due to frustration and being overwhelmed. All in all agar jigra hai to karo. There is no such thing as a wrong decision as long as you have the courage to face the consequences and are prepared for it :k:
I guess one of hte points the thread starter is making is like..let's say in a guys family they're really strict about marriage, has to be with a certain ethnictiy in family whatever...and the dude goes against that..it shows how much respect he has for his own family and their traditions....if he can go behind his parents' back whose to say he will treat his gf/wife with the same respect?
no where does it say that the dude is going against it ... hes trying hard to convince his family so they are with him, not whole heartedly i admit, but he is trying hard to convince them ... i think that shows that he might not be a stuck up for stupid traditions (i think we all agree that marrying just with in the cast is stupid) but cares enough about his parents to actually try to convince them rather than forcing a grl upon them
no where does it say that the dude is going against it ... hes trying hard to convince his family so they are with him, not whole heartedly i admit, but he is trying hard to convince them ... i think that shows that he might not be a stuck up for stupid traditions (i think we all agree that marrying just with in the cast is stupid) but cares enough about his parents to actually try to convince them rather than forcing a grl upon them
Guys try to act sane, but they forget one important aspect that in our culture either they live with the parents or either parents live with him. but in any case guy will be busy on his 9-5 job.
so its better to think whether your parents willing to accept and work it out with the girl of a guys choice, and also is willing to happily live his parents who rejected her?
it doesn't matter whether the girl is working or not, cuz she will still be doing the household chores, so will have more one-to-one encounter with the guy's parents than the guy itself.
i personally think parents want to get the girl the of their choices cuz they think in respect to their interaction with their bahoo.
Zobia i think you guys are just being negative and i don't think thats the case most of hte time at least ... most of the parents are happy with their kid's choice and are pretty ok with that ... some parents have problems initially but when they see their sons happy with the grl they have some hesitations but after a whlie they become pretty alright with it (refer to the marrying out of cast thread) ... its very rare that problems between parents and DIL come up and thats the same with arranged marriages or marriages where parents ok too ... so i don't think u can just blame it on that oh its just cuz parents weren't happy with it in the begining because i'm pretty sure when the grl comes in both the parties try to make amends and try their best to deal with the situation
i didn't have to convince my husband to convince his parents. he did it on his own. i am part of the family now, dare i say more than the dil they chose themselves. his mum is never going to be 100% happy but that's her nature in regards to everything. i think most people have to convince their parents that their chosen partner is the right one, some just have more convincing to do than others.
oh a friend of mine is going through this too.. the parents of the guy are dead set against the marriage but the two of them dont/wont marry anyone else...srsly love sucks when u cant think for yourself if what you are doing...all the waiting is right
i hope things work out for ur friends and these two too :(
One of my friends liked a girl but they didn't approve. So he just brought her home and she started cleaning the place up. Fixed everything and even made him a sandwich. The family was lie WTH??? But they didn't say a word.
