Re: Girls how would you feel about your hubby or father taking a 2nd wife?
it's a real tough one ..even though it's allowed but I would be beyond heartbroken and I probably would want to leave him in such a God forbid hypothetical situation
Re: Girls how would you feel about your hubby or father taking a 2nd wife?
I've seen it happen and very rarely does it have a positive affect on anyone. I say rarely because I don't know anyone who has been happy with this arrangement but maybe they're out there. Who knows?
If my dad did it, I would take my mom and move out.
Re: Girls how would you feel about your hubby or father taking a 2nd wife?
There's a poster on the Ummah forums called 'Dhakkiya' who's the first wife in a relationship where her husband took a second (I think with her permission, she was aware of it from the outset anyway and was happy with the idea).. She's a convert but what she says makes a lot of sense.. One of the v.v.v.few good examples of polygyny.. Not like the usual messes we see where dad goes behind mum's (and kids') backs, doesn't divide the time or money equally or uses the second marriage as a means of 'escape' from the first..
Re: Girls how would you feel about your hubby or father taking a 2nd wife?
I have an example of my best friend's dad..who has married twice and both women are living together MA happily. I think I have talked about it before too. Uncle never had a child from his first wife (as his wife couldn't conceive) but he didn't marry anybody else for 19 years. Later she herself suggested him to marry because life was too lonely and maybe he could have children then. And thus he married again but kept his 2nd wife at another place for a whole year giving both of them time equally and after a year his second wife moved in to their place. Now he has 4 children MA and all of them are very brilliant and overall a very happy family :)
They call both of them moms ! But it's a v v v rare situation and am sure needed a lot of sacrifice in the entire time.
Re: Girls how would you feel about your hubby or father taking a 2nd wife?
I dunno.. I'd like to think that provided my husband treated us both equally with time, affection and money I'd be ok with it, but I think I am a little insecure and maybe I would be hurt by some of his inncocent actions towards the 2nd wife and feel a little unappreciated/unwanted.
It's a lot for a woman to cope with emotionally and I don't think that I'm that strong a person to deal with it so maybe I would divorce after at least giving it a try...
Re: Girls how would you feel about your hubby or father taking a 2nd wife?
Ok girls the reason i ask this question is because this has happened to my auntie , they have 4 children all adults
the eldest two are married with kids aged between 1-9 yrs of age.
Her husband decided to get married to a girl the same age as
His own eldest child and was going behind 1st wifes back and just 8 months ago
got married to that girl and lives with her.
The kids are devasted and still to this date feel hurt and decieved by their father
and feel his actions were selfish and even feel hatred towards him, they cant bare to even look/talk to him.
Do hubby's or father's think its worth breaking thier kids hearts?
and what are these women thinking of when marrying a guy who is already married with kids?
Re: Girls how would you feel about your hubby or father taking a 2nd wife?
Ok girls the reason i ask this question is because this has happened to my auntie , they have 4 children all adults
the eldest two are married with kids aged between 1-9 yrs of age.
Her husband decided to get married to a girl the same age as
His own eldest child and was going behind 1st wifes back and just 8 months ago
got married to that girl and lives with her.
The kids are devasted and still to this date feel hurt and decieved by their father
and feel his actions were selfish and even feel hatred towards him, they cant bare to even look/talk to him.
Do hubby's or father's think its worth breaking thier kids hearts?
and what are these women thinking of when marrying a guy who is already married with kids?
In most cases they are thinking of a Birtish/American/Canadian passport!
I know of a similar case although they were divorced when he re-married.
The eldest child was 33 and youngest 29 with the older two married with kids. The father was a bit of a tw@t and mistreated his wife badly throughout their marriage. The husband always threatened to divorce the wife if she didnt do as he ordered/demanded. Eventually, the wife got sick of it and filed for divorce *against him.
*After a traumatic divorce he left the home and lived in rented accom. His family, (sis and mom) couldnt be bothered to look out/after him so married him off to someone else. The divorced wife knew it wouldnt last and swore the new wife would divorce him as soon as she got the right to stay in UK.. The day after she got the stamp in the passpirt, she threw him out. He had a child with the second wife and he estranged the kids from his first marriage!
Re: Girls how would you feel about your hubby or father taking a 2nd wife?
All the girls here did not appeove of second marriage and showed resentment. So why is polygyny even allowed in Islam? Isn't it unfair? I know the husband has a duty of being just and fair to each wife but it's natural that he will be more affectionate towards the new wife. And even he is miraculously fair and just, would you ladies still be ok with the second wife concept?
Re: Girls how would you feel about your hubby or father taking a 2nd wife?
Its all in the mind.. mostly its a strong propaganda that’s why everyone questions it!! this wasn’t even a issue before the church bought it up
if you go in the arab world its a normal thing there but unfortunately hindu culture is very dominant and were very influenced by it so its hard for us to understand.. so as i said its a mind set and all in the mind
btw Islam is the only religion that says marry only one!! however you have permission to marry up to 4 as long as you can treat them equally (and that’s the condition)
so if someone marries but cant treat them equally then he will be sinful rather than Practising the so called islam.. equal means when you sleep with one you sleep with the other when you laugh with one then you laugh with the other whatever you get for one you get the same for the other… if you have laughed with someone for 2 mins and with the other for 1 min that will be considered unfair
now you might say that’s impossible.. Yes it is! but you can get away with it if one of your wife allows you and says i wont hold you accountable for my so and so rights
now you may ask why is the law there then… the answer to that is Islam is a universal religion which will stay till the last day and it has solution to all your problems so whenever there’s a problem in ones life he can turn to islam and get the solution to his problem
now this law is for the solution of current problems which the humanity is facing
