girls and guys that grew up in the west

[Afridi786]

Re: girls and guys that grew up in the west

i cant even read or write urdu. : (

[saieen]

Re: girls and guys that grew up in the west

@safeena

I would just like my kids to be able to read/write/speak Urdu/Punjabi and any other regional language w/o any major dificulties... and have that thing about Pakistan.. that's off course in addition to being a good Muslim.

Is that too much to ask for..?

ask the kids....

for me, religion first, then pakistan and then everything else.

[glamourchic18]

Re: girls and guys that grew up in the west

^i agree

[Khumar]

Re: girls and guys that grew up in the west

personally, i find that establishing a religious identity is not that hard. there are institutions for that, for crying out loud. what is more important to me is establishing a cultural identity, formost the Pakistani identity. I think that my children, and their children, etc etc would be incomplete without knowing who they are, and who their grandparents were, and their grandparents. sure we have bad things in our country, but we aren't the only culture with some stuff that is bad. heck, i knew a syrian who got married at 13. she's a muslim, and she got married at a young age.

[Sara516]

Re: girls and guys that grew up in the west

@Afridi786

oo hoo, punjabi kuri? Mein bhi punjabi ha
but sum of the stuff u said its not true…sum people do the stuff u said but Its no longer the majority…only a small percentage of people still do that kinda stuff…only think i can think of that is true is that they hesistate on letting kids go out cuz honestly they have no way of knowing what they going to do…lol…ima guy living in U.S.A. and my parents dont like me going out..how about that.
How come u didnt like H.S.?

Well thank goodness none of htis jahiliyat is in my immediate family (even tho my bro makes horrible jokes about having a daughter being an afsos ) but I know plenty of grlz (few in HS n some in college) who were nikkahed/engaged since bachpan to someone they dont even know..one I know is happy with her husband, i know one who slept around in HS and a few others had babies while in HS (of course married) and countless others who did get out of that but it was difficult for em…so yeah i know there r exceptions but the very idea of it is really stupid to me coz ur pretty much taking their choice on what they wanna do with life away and thats really rotten..

As for going out n stuff, please dont begin with the “well grls can come home pregnant so they need to be locked up” bullsh*t In ur case it might be different, but in general desi guys are given insane amt of freedom whereas grlz aren’t, even when it comes to education/career.. again i know plenty of girls who go to comm/local colleges wheras thier brothers go to universities n dorm n can travel away for work n stuff.. My brother has pretty much done everything, traveled to Brazil, Amsterdam, lived on his own n stuff.. whereas I get yelled at for coming home from an all grlz Eid party at 8 PM lol..theres lots of stuff I wanna do, but I hate fighting..

[indopak]

Re: girls and guys that grew up in the west

With language, I've noticed that some of kids that were younger than me were speaking great hindi or their native language as small kids but than when they started going to school in the United States the teachers made sure that they spoke English more at home. And now some of them, only speak in English as adults.

[AnGeL_EyEs]

Re: girls and guys that grew up in the west

@mAd_ScIeNtIsT

I’ve concluded that cultural identity is too hard to maintain in generations going forward. Religious identity is all that can be maintained, so I’m going to try and raise my kids to be conservative Muslims. That it much easier than raising them to be conservative Pakistanis.

:k: right on!

[AnGeL_EyEs]

Re: girls and guys that grew up in the west

@safeena

I would just like my kids to be able to read/write/speak Urdu/Punjabi and any other regional language w/o any major dificulties... and have that thing about Pakistan.. that's off course in addition to being a good Muslim.

Is that too much to ask for..?

um yea...good luck with that.

[safeena]

Re: girls and guys that grew up in the west

^ umm why so sarcastic..? :(

[Kaleem]

Re: girls and guys that grew up in the west

[QUOTE]
*girls and guys that grew up in the west *
[/QUOTE]
..are called XBCDs. replace X with American, British etc

[MYwish]

Re: girls and guys that grew up in the west

^you didn't even read the whole thread.

[sidz_angel]

Re: girls and guys that grew up in the west

ok religion to one side, yes it is absolutly important to have a good islamic upbringing
i think that do waht your parents did
as in
at home talk urdu/punjabi (wht ever the language)
and cook desi food,

to tel you the truth, i hav been to pak once and that when i was about 6
i kno how to cook desi foods, i can speak talk, read and write urdu
and all this even though i am utterly from UK. i wear desi clothes and i even prefer them sumtimes to western.
but my sisters are a contrast, they are more anglified, and i htink it is a result of the friends the hav aswell,
their urdu is messed up quite funny to hear sumtime an example is “unka biwi yahaan hain” and i was wearing** khusse** one of them called them Khusre

it is hard to keep a balance of who u really are

[Rush]

Re: girls and guys that grew up in the west

@safeena

I would just like my kids to be able to read/write/speak Urdu/Punjabi and any other regional language w/o any major dificulties... and have that thing about Pakistan.. that's off course in addition to being a good Muslim.

Is that too much to ask for..?

Not really most desi speak 3 or 4 languages.

[parissenoor]

Re: girls and guys that grew up in the west

@inpak

I grew up in the west and my parents were of course from the old country so they knew desi culture completely. Even if I grew up in the States, I know quite a bit about desi culture and I always speak in my native language at home. Dating was just something I didn't do even if I was asked out. I'm just getting scared that I won't do as good a job with my own kids as my parents did.

what are you all doing or will you be doing in the future to expose your kids to desi culture?

marry a FOB and move back to pak to raise kids...as we don't want them to be "confused":D

[Rush]

Re: girls and guys that grew up in the west

@parissenoor

marry a FOB and move back to pak to raise kids…as we don’t want them to be "confused"

[parissenoor]

Re: girls and guys that grew up in the west

@Rush

why is that funny
i don’t want to stretch the kids btw two cultures…and most people on he thread are somwhat hypocrite they all insist their religious identity is more important than their paki identity so they can throw paki identity and just keep the muslim label…while at the same time living in countries: europe, USA, canada…where islam is thought to be a dangerous backward religion…enemy of freedom and fun (read cluccing, dating, porn, money games…)
i think it’s unfair to force one’s kids to grow up in places where kids at school, or freinds in HS will bully them and backbit them because of religious identity:
why do you go to islamic classes, reading namaaz and learning quran, instead of playing with us after school?
why do you wear hijab?
why don’t you go to restaurant? (no halaal meat)
why don’t you stay a canteen and play with us at lunch break (instead og getting to mom home to eat halaal food)
why don’t you eat pork?
why don’t you play money games?
why don’t you go clubbing?
why don’t you drink beer/wine/liquor?

in the end the majority of kids/teenagers will label them as “boring/loosers/no fun” and they’ll feel rejected…unless you adopt the american segregation and live in a all muslim place…and put them in all muslim place

[indopak]

Re: girls and guys that grew up in the west

@mAd_ScIeNtIsT

I've concluded that cultural identity is too hard to maintain in generations going forward. Religious identity is all that can be maintained, so I'm going to try and raise my kids to be conservative Muslims. That it much easier than raising them to be conservative Pakistanis.

I will teach my kids the basic guidelines of religion but I don't think I will want them to be too religious. I would prefer them to be more logical and go more towards a scientific approach to life rather than religious.

There are some people who still have a hard time believing in evolution even if there is scientific proof of it. But based on their religion it's not possible.

[Khumar]

Re: girls and guys that grew up in the west

@parissenoor

why is that funny
i don’t want to stretch the kids btw two cultures…**and most people on he thread are somwhat hypocrite they all insist their religious identity is more important than their paki identity so they can throw paki identity and just keep the muslim label…**while at the same time living in countries: europe, USA, canada…where islam is thought to be a dangerous backward religion…enemy of freedom and fun (read cluccing, dating, porn, money games…)
i think it’s unfair to force one’s kids to grow up in places where kids at school, or freinds in HS will bully them and backbit them because of religious identity:
why do you go to islamic classes, reading namaaz and learning quran, instead of playing with us after school?
why do you wear hijab?
why don’t you go to restaurant? (no halaal meat)
why don’t you stay a canteen and play with us at lunch break (instead og getting to mom home to eat halaal food)
why don’t you eat pork?
why don’t you play money games?
why don’t you go clubbing?
why don’t you drink beer/wine/liquor?

in the end the majority of kids/teenagers will label them as “boring/loosers/no fun” and they’ll feel rejected…unless you adopt the american segregation and live in a all muslim place…and put them in all muslim place

here here!

[indopak]

Re: girls and guys that grew up in the west

@parissenoor

marry a FOB and move back to pak to raise kids…as we don’t want them to be “confused”

The moving back thing is a good idea and I was thinking about it too:) since I don’t know everything about desi culture and that would definitely help but than I think about all the benefits of growing up in the US.
I think desis of my generation took the best things from both sides.

Our kids need to have a nice balance too when they’re growing up. But it’s easier said than done right.

[Rush]

Re: girls and guys that grew up in the west

@parissenoor

why is that funny
i don’t want to stretch the kids btw two cultures…and most people on he thread are somwhat hypocrite they all insist their religious identity is more important than their paki identity so they can throw paki identity and just keep the muslim label…while at the same time living in countries: europe, USA, canada…where islam is thought to be a dangerous backward religion…enemy of freedom and fun (read cluccing, dating, porn, money games…)
i think it’s unfair to force one’s kids to grow up in places where kids at school, or freinds in HS will bully them and backbit them because of religious identity:
why do you go to islamic classes, reading namaaz and learning quran, instead of playing with us after school?
why do you wear hijab?
why don’t you go to restaurant? (no halaal meat)
why don’t you stay a canteen and play with us at lunch break (instead og getting to mom home to eat halaal food)
why don’t you eat pork?
why don’t you play money games?
why don’t you go clubbing?
why don’t you drink beer/wine/liquor?

in the end the majority of kids/teenagers will label them as “boring/loosers/no fun” and they’ll feel rejected…unless you adopt the american segregation and live in a all muslim place…and put them in all muslim place

I thought the first post was discrimination against a group of ppl, calling them confused, but the second one oh well … who cares about political correctness in post 9/11 world.