I have heard people saying that there are 100 of girls out there with bachelor + degrees .. I have seen 100 of girls like that .. but I don’t know is it just me or its the true that whenever i see any such girl and get to talk to her i feel like that the only reason of her of getting such a nice degree is to bring herself at one level ahead to get married ..
I mean they give a damn to their career, they don’t even think that they have spent 16 years of their life in learning something and all they wana do is to wait for some prince charming to come and propose to them.
I remember when i was teaching in a university, in my first class i was asking everyone what they want to be and why did they choose this program. I heard stupid answers from boys as well but from girls, the most common answer was .. “We will finish this program and then get married” .. .. is it really true, thats the reason why girls get higher education to get better rishtas? I know our society has made these rules that a doctor/engineer guy will only marry to some educated girl but what girls think about their education?
but then the same applies to guys? if they didn't have higher education - i'd reckon they'd have tough times finding jobs let alone rishta's! lol!
i didn't go into higher education to find a rishta...at that time it was the next best step to take after completing my alevels and it had many benefits. my degree fully prepared me for the job i got after graduation. (and i totally loved uni life. i would go back just to enjoy that if i could! lol.)
Iyla, thats the thought one should have when it comes to education. but every single girl I met (except few) - they are like amaazing in studies but their reason of getting education was .. "getting a better rishta" .. ..
So true @ uni life .. I love it too and thats was one of the reason to be the student again :$ ..
aaahhh iyla kya din yaad dila diye :hinna:
I would go bk to uni life just to enjoy it too and NO I didn’t go for higher education in order to find a “better rishta”.In fact for me to consider a guy for rishta he doesn’t even need to have a bachelor’s let alone be a doctor or engineer.
Inititally when I went for higher education it was not for a career.ofcourse I had dreams but I didn’t think my parents would allow me to work so I knew they would remain dreams.I went for higher studies because I loved gaining knowledge and i loved studying…I would love being a student allll my life and keep gaining knowledge about different things.
During my last year of uni I started thinking of a career and then you know the rest.
So yeah Education for me was NEVER for getting a “better rishta”
I think some parents instill in their kids the need for higher education as a means to qualify for a better rishta. If you're an engineer, you will get an engineer. If you're a doctor, you will get a doctor. And so on.
Is it right? I dont think the reasoning is right but IF through this we have somehow increased the number of educated, independant and able women...its fine.
Many parents want their daughters to become a doctor because doctor larkiyan get good rishtas and the larkay walay like to tell others "humari bahu daktar/daktarni hai !"
Some people don't want educated girls because they feel that educated girls are out spoken and they will not be able to control her.
I think some parents instill in their kids the need for higher education as a means to qualify for a better rishta. If you're an engineer, you will get an engineer. If you're a doctor, you will get a doctor. And so on.
Is it right? I dont think the reasoning is right but IF through this we have somehow increased the number of educated, independant and able women...its fine.
yeah, thats the concept with which most of the girls are raised up and then what happen, the get education and they sit at home .. .. throughout their life .. .. it should not be like that .. .. if they have got some education they must pursue their career in that particular field.
yeah, thats the concept with which most of the girls are raised up and then what happen, the get education and they sit at home .. .. throughout their life .. .. it should not be like that .. .. if they have got some education they must pursue their career in that particular field.
Ideally...that's what should happen. You get a degree, make something out of it, do a job and pay off the loans/parents. But from what I've seen, majority of the times girls aren't given the opportunities to work. I know so many girls in the desi circle who got engaged/married right after their graduation. They weren't allowed to, heck didn't have the time to look for a job, let alone work. They're married and now they're expected to sit at home, wait for their husband and raise the little ones. So it's no surprise that some girls will have the expectation to be married after studying and it's just to get the rishta.
And the sad truth is, the women looking for rishtas for their sons do want a parhi likhi bahu...not because she will in turn instill those values onto the children, or because it's good to have someone educated in the house, it's so they can show off that I have a bahu who has done this or has done that, like someone said.
On the flip side, there are also those rishta seekers that want a bahu who's working, and has a 9-5 job, because they want to be seen as enlightened and be looked upon as the maadrun hi-fi people who aren't restricted towards their bahus and "she wants to work so we let her work"
lol ya m studying for myself and wanna persue carrerr in some field i think i cant become a doc anymore soo i think noo doc for me now but T1 i m prtty much agree wid ya… the main reason behind education is getting married wid some gud guy and dat all?? BS i think but i wanna study for myself and wanna go sooo farrr… lol
yeah .. since i have met majority . I wonder when i will see someone from minority!
thats the thing i hate the most in girls. I have seen such an amazing girls but no sooner i get to know their mentality towards life .. their all image shatters in front of me .. :s .. .. i like career orient, confident girls .. .. I am not sure how many guys are out there who thinks like that .. but i hate the concept where a girl is living a life by following his hubby and his instructions. a girl should have her own personality as an individual .. someone who can stand besides her partner not behind her partner!
best of luck for your career .. .. and you can stil lbe a DOC .. by doing Ph.D! .. Dr. Bellacullen
well the girls who arent pretty enough to grab a good rishta based on their mesmerizing beauty have to employ other means! give em a break.
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ok. this needs to be posted in the pol forum, so when people ask why is Pakistan so friggin' behind, they can understand that this kind of stoneage mentality keeps our population in ignorance....
I agree with "T" though....I'm a girl and I feel like we sell ourselves short by having low expectations...you work your behind off to acquire a great degree ...some o us go on to grad school..some become doctors...and then what? waste it by sitting at home? why not contribute to society...? I would be personally be depressed if I was not "allowed" by hubby to work at least part time so that i can use what knowledge I worked so hard to gain... why get an education at all if all youre going to do with it is make sure the tea doesn't boil over :| ...m sorry I sound so uptight about this topic ...but it's something I feel strongly about
Ideally...that's what should happen. You get a degree, make something out of it, do a job and pay off the loans/parents. But from what I've seen, majority of the times girls aren't given the opportunities to work. I know so many girls in the desi circle who got engaged/married right after their graduation. They weren't allowed to, heck didn't have the time to look for a job, let alone work. They're married and now they're expected to sit at home, wait for their husband and raise the little ones. So it's no surprise that some girls will have the expectation to be married after studying and it's just to get the rishta.
And the sad truth is, the women looking for rishtas for their sons do want a parhi likhi bahu...not because she will in turn instill those values onto the children, or because it's good to have someone educated in the house, it's so they can show off that I have a bahu who has done this or has done that, like someone said.
On the flip side, there are also those rishta seekers that want a bahu who's working, and has a 9-5 job, because they want to be seen as enlightened and be looked upon as the maadrun hi-fi people who aren't restricted towards their bahus and "she wants to work so we let her work"
and since these girls are going to be mother of next generation, this mentality is being passed on and on .. :@ .. i hate this mentality!
are you saying it's wrong to be a housewife? a lot of girls get education for knowledge (themselves) and plan on being a housewives. What's wrong with that?
I get extremely pissed off when I hear girls saying they're not planning on working after finishing their degrees. What is the point wasting your parents money then!? Why bother going to private school or to university then when all you want to do is sit at home?
Fine if you want to stay at home for a while to look after kids when they are young but what will they do when the kids start going to school?
There are so many options available as well if working full time is too much. You can work part time, help out with a charity/other organization, work from home. Why anybody would want to just cut themselves off from society and make rotis all day despite having a decent education is beyond me.
I've worked bloody hard for this degree and there is no way I am giving up my hard earned job after marriage. I understand that when children come into the equation, my career will need to take a back seat. But that should only be for a few years, fingers crossed.
are you saying it's wrong to be a housewife? a lot of girls get education for knowledge (themselves) and plan on being a housewives. What's wrong with that?
there's nothing wrong with being a housewife or wanting to be one... there is just something wrong if the only reason you're getting yourself a good education is because you want to land a good rishta...as opposed to getting your education for wanting to achieve self actualization
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Marriage or no marriage, I still have a life & not marrying won’t be the end of it.
but T1 i m prtty much agree wid ya… the main reason behind education is getting married wid some gud guy and dat all?? BS i think but i wanna study for myself and wanna go sooo farrr… lol