Will you approve if your teenage (boy or a girl) wants to go on a date?
Re: girlfriend or a boyfriend
Yes, for sure I want my boys to be comfortable around the opposite gender and to know how to treat them. There is nothing wrong with the inter-mingling of the genders if its appropriately chaperoned and appropriate behaviors are learned and enforced. Its an essential part of their upbringing I think. I just cant imagine raising kids to be separate from the opposite gender and then - all of a sudden - sending them off to marry one of them. They need to learn and know the other half of the population if they are to be good and successful people. So yes, my boys will be allowed to take a girl to the movies or to the park and to have his little dates and will know how to behave in a gentlemanly manner and not to fear the unknown of the opposite gender.
Re: girlfriend or a boyfriend
Boys yeah,b ut my girls will be locked int eh basement til they're 25.
Yes, for sure I want my boys to be comfortable around the opposite gender and to know how to treat them. There is nothing wrong with the inter-mingling of the genders if its appropriately chaperoned and appropriate behaviors are learned and enforced. Its an essential part of their upbringing I think. I just cant imagine raising kids to be separate from the opposite gender and then - all of a sudden - sending them off to marry one of them. They need to learn and know the other half of the population if they are to be good and successful people. So yes, my boys will be allowed to take a girl to the movies or to the park and to have his little dates and will know how to behave in a gentlemanly manner and not to fear the unknown of the opposite gender.
I couldnt have said it better!
Re: girlfriend or a boyfriend
No dates.
Re: girlfriend or a boyfriend
Absolutely not. What the hell?! Next thing we will be saying "oh yea, our sons can move in with their girlfriends or go to a hotel for an afternoon and fool around".
If they go out on a date then I should go out and have an affair.
Re: girlfriend or a boyfriend
No I wouldn't want to but the problem is they'll still do it secretly.
She'll say I am going to the movies with my girl friends and very conceniently meet her date there.
What does a (desi) parent do in that situation?
No I wouldn't want to but the problem is they'll still do it secretly.
She'll say I am going to the movies with my girl friends and very conceniently meet her date there.
What does a (desi) parent do in that situation?
The best u can do is keep a close eye without being too annoying n apparent to the kid. Make sure you know their frnds n drop them n pick them up so that they be careful..
Re: girlfriend or a boyfriend
u can do all u want to not have ure kids date.. but u cant stop em.. either move to arabia where ure chances of success will be somewhat higher.. or educate them on this issue.
i honestly wouldnt know how to tackle the issue if my kid was not gonna accept no for an answer.. but i wouldnt like them dating for sure.
mama.. i think u can know how to deal with the opp sex without having to go out on a date u know. the average school day and lunch time of an hour and a snack time of 15 mins is more than enuff for a guy or girl to interact and learn how to be decent around each other .
Re: girlfriend or a boyfriend
kwateen, yes you're right. A desi person living in the west will interact with the opposite gender in school. But do you forbid your teen to go to their proms? Do you forbid social gatherings where classmates of both genders will mingle? This is detrimental I think. Because of course a teen will want to follow the norms of their peers and do the fun things that teens do. If a teen is allowed to go to their prom, that doesnt mean it ends up in a hotel room. If they join the school co-ed swim team, it doesnt mean that they'll turn into sex maniacs. If you outright forbid this type of thing then they''ll do it behind your back and resent you enormously. Me? I'd prefer an open relationship and set guidelines. If its that big an issue then send the teen to an all-girls or an all-boys school and save yourself headaches and heartaches yeah?
i wouldnt either. would raise them in a manner in which they would understand what it means to be a muslim and what is ok and what is not, and dating is not ok im afraid lol.
kwateen, yes you're right. A desi person living in the west will interact with the opposite gender in school. But do you forbid your teen to go to their proms? Do you forbid social gatherings where classmates of both genders will mingle? This is detrimental I think. Because of course a teen will want to follow the norms of their peers and do the fun things that teens do. If a teen is allowed to go to their prom, that doesnt mean it ends up in a hotel room. If they join the school co-ed swim team, it doesnt mean that they'll turn into sex maniacs. If you outright forbid this type of thing then they''ll do it behind your back and resent you enormously. Me? I'd prefer an open relationship and set guidelines. If its that big an issue then send the teen to an all-girls or an all-boys school and save yourself headaches and heartaches yeah?
all those things... are not dating... swim team, prom, school trips.. its not dating
the poster was asking specifically bout dating.. meaning boy likes girl and wants to go out with her. or vice versa.
Re: girlfriend or a boyfriend
I wud, I'd rather have a open relationship with my son and daughter. Because if i dont they wud do it behind my back anyway. Im not a hypocrite, I've dated. I wud want them to approach me in difficult situations their facing. End of the day their human and their gonna want too. Their gonna have crushes so their gonna get their heart broken. I wanna be there for them.
Re: girlfriend or a boyfriend
No, I wouldn't. And I respectfully disagree that a child would sneak out anyway to do so. Sure, some of them definitely do. But some of them don't...so it proves to me that it is possible to raise one's child in such a way that they can learn healthy social interaction while leading a halal lifestyle. It just takes a lot of work and discipline to raise a child in such a way.
Just my two cents.
all those things... are not dating... swim team, prom, school trips.. its not dating
the poster was asking specifically bout dating.. meaning boy likes girl and wants to go out with her. or vice versa.
right.
Re: girlfriend or a boyfriend
agree with khawateen.... would not allow them.
Educate them so they can make a proper decision themselves.
Being open with ur kids is not about letting them do watever they want so they dont do it behind ur backs. Being open with them is about educating them about things you would and wouldnt want them to do... so they in turn are comfortable enough with themselves to do the right thing... and can also discuss issues with you.
Re: girlfriend or a boyfriend
No, I wouldn't because I don't think teenage 13-19 is a good age to date.
Re: girlfriend or a boyfriend
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I like khwateen,sadzz and sazzie answers.If you are a muslim or you can say if you have different culture and different mind set of rules in your house then teach your children and make them confident enough that they don t sneak out and do these things behind you. Kids learn what their parents want to learn instead of beating, hurting or forcing rules we should teach them and explain them everything why we are not doing that.And we should answer all their curious mind questions so they know what is religion and what is the difference between some cultures if we want to follow our religion.
Wishkumar their is difference between selecting a life partner and going out just for fun. Of course if its your whole life decision then you should date,inquire everything but if you are going out just because you like someone and you are attracted to opposite sex is a different thing.