So I know the bride’s family is supposed to give the groom’s family members clothes. I’ve also heard that gold jewelry for the MIL & sometimes even the SIL is given. But considering the price of gold these days, I know we won’t be able to give them gold sets as nice as I would want. Is there a traditional alternative to gold that I can give them?
Re: Gifts for in-laws
break away from tradition and dont give anything.
Re: Gifts for in-laws
^ you want to ruin her marriage?? :ASA:
OP dear....you can just increase the number of clothes/person.......:D
Re: Gifts for in-laws
^ you want to ruin her marriage?? :ASA:
OP dear....you can just increase the number of clothes/person.......:D
well see its pathetic mentalities like that (not saying you personally!) that think not giving gold will break or ruin a marriage.
IMO I don't see the point in spending so much damn money for someone you hardly know--and yes in laws fall into thsi group of ppl that you hardly know.
Also 99% of the time they dont deserve it!
Re: Gifts for in-laws
^ you might have gotten idea about my personal opinion about these matters from my thread in weddding section...
but since she is worrying about it.......that means her in-laws expect it........she can't change them.....so thats why i gave the suggestion.......
Re: Gifts for in-laws
^ you might have gotten idea about my personal opinion about these matters from my thread in weddding section...
but since she is worrying about it.......that means her in-laws expect it........she can't change them.....so thats why i gave the suggestion.......
About simple weddings? Yeah...IMO this is one tradition that needs to be gotten rid of, I don't see absolutely a single positive in it.
Re: Gifts for in-laws
Yeah...IMO this is one tradition that needs to be gotten rid of, I don't see absolutely a single positive in it.
the same goes for the rest of these 'wealth' related traditions...all of them...
Re: Gifts for in-laws
Well you'd have to give them something. Clothes or some of that ladies orgasm stuff. Because in Pakistan ladies get offended far too easily and if they don't get a single gift, rest assured the story will spread like wildfire. And if they object to clothes or something cheaper being given as gifts you can tell rightly tell them to **** off.
Re: Gifts for in-laws
clothes & more clothes....
Re: Gifts for in-laws
wrist watches .......
Re: Gifts for in-laws
uff I know...crazy Gold is going through the roof!
how about a nice perfume?. Make a cute little gift basket with some candy, perfume, and some nice clothes with a little personalized note for a finishing touch.
Re: Gifts for in-laws
You shouldn't HAVE to give anything, I agree. That kind of mentality is very old school and ppl in the west don't even care for it any more. I can't comment on the mentality and perceptions of ppl in Pakistan.
But some ppl genuinely want to give their in-laws nice gifts in happiness. Also, your MIL just spent a fortune giving you a valima jora and set, and bari. At my engagement we didn't give any gifts at all to any one in the in-laws, just to the boy. But at the wedding I do plan to give gifts to his siblings, parents, and close extended family. Out of genuine happiness and cause they have been very nice and generous with me.
How many clothes can you really give? Have you thought about maybe giving them something for their home, like a crystal vase, bed set, china, maybe a handbag for your MIL... those things aren't exactly cheap but they aren't $3k either!
Re: Gifts for in-laws
^ excellent ideas as well :)
over here, people can actually use home stuff. Sometimes the clothes will just get regifted :)
Re: Gifts for in-laws
Dowry or Jahez is not an Islamic tradition!. You can give them some gifts like clothes but dont showoff these things to others.
Re: Gifts for in-laws
I think it's nice to give a gift that you are happy to give. I know it's hard, but try not to feel obligated to do it a certain way.
That being said, my jethani's family did give my MIL a small gold set. SIL and I got small, very pretty earrings. I use them often, but I did not expect them. We did not give jewelry on my wedding, though we did give clothes.
Re: Gifts for in-laws
I don't know many people that give gold to the inlaws. I would go for nice dresses for MIL and SIL..
Re: Gifts for in-laws
Thanks... And yeah, we're definitely not gonna be giving them gifts to "show off," considering I am hardly able to give them anything right now. I absolutely hate that side of our culture, too. But our elders see it as a form of respect & it shows that you have some culture (even tho I really don't). My MIL is super traditional. I think she would get offended if I didn't give anything. I am giving 1 formal outfit for MIL, BIL, SIL, and niece. If we go to close extended family, I'd have to get 50+ outfits made- not happening. Thanks, I guess I just wanted to see how bad my MIL would feel if I didn't give her jewelry.
Re: Gifts for in-laws
@ muslimah118... where are you from? If you have grown up in the west, then your sense of tradition is of course different from MIL's. But also, if she has been living in the States/Canada for some time, then her sense of tradition has probably changed a bit too... In my family, when my bros get married my mother won't have any expectation of the girls' family's to give her gold and presents. But of course if they did, she would be very appreciative of it, cause we all know the price of jewelery now! But she wouldn't expect it, and as an SIL, neither would I.
My in-laws gave me a beautiful gold and ruby set on my engagement and I was pretty surprised. I didn't expect anything like that at all...
Re: Gifts for in-laws
The tradition is to give clothes. Richer people give gold,less so because of gold prices. You would be ok if you gave just clothes to teh immediate family of your spouse to be and their spouses. You may want to add a nice shawl and wrist watch for your MIL.
Re: Gifts for in-laws
It does depend on your own family tradition too. In the west I havn't really seen anybody give the in-laws gold. However, in my family especially in pak, they always give some kind of gold item, be it a set, kaara or earrings, depending on what they are able to give. If it isn't a major tradition in your family, then perfume or a shawl etc may be nicer!