Re: Gift Exchanges and Dowry
Yeah I don't get that - if I bought furniture, especially big furniture like a bed and wardrobe or something, when I moved out I would TAKE IT WITH ME! Why leave it in someone else's house and then expect no-one to use it?! So weird....
It's called manipulation, selfishness, and controlling your inlaws.
Re: Gift Exchanges and Dowry
If a man doesn't like these traditions, then he can easily put his foot down to his mother and say "no".
Exactly. If men don't like it they can easily tell their parents you are not asking for x, y and z nor are you getting it. But a lot of them don't, they just sit back and wait to be gifted.
Re: Gift Exchanges and Dowry
aghh i hate this whole concept of jahaiz but luckily so did my mil and she strictly said no to jahaiz my parents initially wanted to gift me a bedroom set but my mil and husband went and bought a new bedroom as they were moving into our new house so they set it up for us.
i was very adamant about not taking any jahaiz and so my parents agreed. i didn't want any gold either (neither from my parents nor his) but i ended up inheriting my grandmothers heirloom necklace, and my moms set and tikka and on the other hand my mil wanted to sell one of her sets and buy me a new one but i said i'd rather take it as is cause that would be an heirloom for my kids one day which i would appreciate much more than any random one she buys me and my mil was very happy with my decision.
however, my parents did gift my in laws a lot of stuff like gold set and suits to my mil and sil and my husbands grandma watches and perfume for husband, bil and fil along with money for all 3 of their clothes. my cousin (she was helping out with wedding as I was the first to get married in my family) was very adamant that we must give all the gifts on the stage and crap but i thought that looks sooooo tacky!!! and i said nooo way thats not happening. and my parents agreed with me so they wrapped everything nicely and took it over to his house before the wedding when they were invited for dinner. i really hate the whole showing off that goes up on the stage.
LOL.
You really think people in this day and age really see any significant value in a dressing table, bed, cupboards and coffee tables - all things which would be ultimately used by the bride? No. They would rather have gold sets, designer joras, expensive watches and stacks of cash in the name of 'gifts' which is basically a modern day politically correct term for jahez!
I rather take brand new bedroom furniture for myself than shower my in laws with gold sets and expensive watches in the name of gifts! I think I know which one really classifies as jahez the social evil.