Gift Exchanges and Dowry

[Captain_Obvious]

Re: Gift Exchanges and Dowry

@PyariCgudia

At wedding time, both girl and boy’s family give each other gifts, and in some families, the practice of dowry is still being done, even though it’s forbidden in Islam.

What were you expected to gift at wedding time? I sometimes feel like each family is expecting a certain amount of gifts, and if they don’t get as much as they did when another kid in the family got married, they use that as a point of comparison.

I remember that for my uncles, one uncle made the mistake of agreeing to wife’s family giving a dowry, and the woman brought with her bedroom furniture. She plopped the bed and chairs down and then claimed the entire room as hers. Even when she moved out, because her furniture was still there, she still considered it HER room, and would ask that only she sleep there when she visited, kicking everyone else out, and then throwing hissy fits if her SIL’s and MIL slept on the bed when she was not there. She lives in another country, btw, for crying out loud, and the home has just two bedrooms, and so just because her stuff is there in one room, now the family can’t use that room even though she doesn’t even live in the bloody country anymore.

So after that my grandmother was like NO MORE JEHAZ whenever another son would get married and another woman would come in.

Giving Jahez as in parents giving their daughter things at the of marriage is ok according to Islam. In-laws making ridiculous demands according to their own desires is where you have a problem. In your uncle’s case, if the wife brought the stuff by her own free will and not being pressured into it (by in-laws), there’s nothing wrong with it in principle. As for the family’s issue, if she’s giving them trouble with the furniture in there, then I’d tell her she’s free to take it whenever she wants.