I hate this ritual/tradition of Hindus and Christians. And I hate those Muslim women that are starting this in our culture and it is two sided crap. One one hand there are ‘Star Plus Soaps’ addicted middle aged women that are insisting on having ‘goad bharai’ same as they do in those &^%%%&$ soaps. May Allah give them Hidaayat. And on the other hand we have eductated ABCD young girls who want to have Baby Shower as ‘sufaid chamRi’ would have in the west. What can I say!!!
These stupid women don’t know that a nation is built by its woman. It completely depends on how the mother thinks and mother teaches her kidz. If we have mothers like these two kinds I mentioned, we should be able to portray our next generation easily, and it should not be a surprise after 15 years or so, what kind of &*%$ will be walking in desi Muslim houses.
I somewhat agree with you..never been a big fan of baby shower rituals, mostly those hindu type stuff.
Although I prefer the tradition of doing haqiqa for babies.
Ok so remind again what is so wrong/haram about a baby shower? Basically its a little party your friend’s throw you and people buy gifts for the baby, I think its a great way to get the new couple started off. And how does having a baby shower set you off to raise a generation of screwed up kids? Jeez.
Madams, I know I have touched a sensitive button for some females. But the thing is people don't get the whole picture. You guys just jump on the gun right away, that some men are so backward or daqiyanoos that they can't think outside the box.
The point is not what is wrong with baby shower or goad bharaai. It has to be seen in two ways.
Women historically (and by nature as well) like rituals and celebrations, more than men do. We have seen numerous times, quiet often something adopted by us as 'fun' in past and then they became integral part of our weddings and other celebrations. Infact they were rituals of other religions that they performed on those occassions. So that is wrong and we loose the real spirit. Look how Nikah (the real deal in weddings) is over shadowed by Maayon and Mehndis etc. It became a mere 10 minute formality in 5 days of all hangaama. Thats a very sad situation in our culture.
The other point is, does Islam really lack enough fun in celebration for women, specially on their very specific times. Child birth in this case. Why we as Muslims always look at other religions and nations for celebrations and happiness.
Can't Aqeeqa be such an occassion to celebrate. And for pre-birth, don't women come to the mother-to-be to find out her well being? I know everyone comes after birth and present gifts for the new born and that is a norm in our society from the beginning. So I don't see a real need of having a special occassion in the name of 'baby shower' or 'goad bharai'.
And I apologise if my views hurt anyone's feelings.
If you have something valuable to add into this discussion, write it. Otherwise keep provocative replies to yourself. I opposed with some valid arguments atleast, you don’t even have that except for the defination.
Sounds as an unappointed third grade proffessor struggling to force his bias teachings on to a highly qualified section.
What…My reply was provocative ??
I didnt see anykinda valuable matter in that baseless quote of yours. Oh..i did not know if some happy women celebrate pre-motherhood with some sweets and dance, this is against your wish and will. Better keep this fundamentalist inspired radicalism to yourself and let the people live as they want.
Everyone has right to say what they think. You can think and write what you want and so can I. You better don't get personal next time. I have a point in my original post and that what I expressed. If you don't like it, come up with some counter argument and not personal attacks, cuz don't think that only you can do that, though I don't wanna fall on your level.
It's hard for us being brought up with mehndis and mayouns to now snap out of it and go back to weddings without them. But i guess, we can do a little to stop adopting more things. I wont be doing no gaud barais or baby showering because we dont have a trend for either in UK and im glad for it
Here's my question. Why am I written off as "offended" as I too am only giving my opinion or stating what's going on. Jeez dude. Anyways I still don't see what is so horribly wrong with a baby shower, before/after birth of baby. What on weddings don't people (especially close family) give gifts and essential items to the newlyweds? I know that's not written in the Quran but we still do it. Is it haram? I really don't think so. I don't see how wrong/haram/inappropriate it really is to give gifts on the birth of a baby. As for the Aqeeqa comment, totally agree Aqiqa is a good event, but you must also know its better to do the Aqeeqa by the 7th day if possible....by then its kind of hard to throw a party...and not everyone can manage to throw any function for the Aqeeqah. But wait is it wrong to now throw a "party" for Aqeeqah? Jeez guys. Its a simple little party....not like on a mehndi where we must wear yellow green, and must do certain rituals and god knows what else. Anyways I guess im rambling, gotta get back to work.
That sums up everything what I am trying to say. To stop adopting more rituals taken from other religions/cultures. Otherwise our next generation will be saying ‘its hard to snap out it now’. And for Aqeeqa, they will be saying ‘yaar call western union and send 200 bucks for bakri for aqeeqa, dadi will give it to poor, bechaaray log’, the tone will not be as exciting as it was when they would celebrate baby shower.
It is just a different angle to see at things that are becoming ‘norm’ day by day into our lives.
Just because you celebrate or entertain a certain function/event...doesn't mean you have to give other events any less importance. Not everyone sends money via western union..your just exxagerating here.
but on a note about sending money back home, again what is so wrong with that? How many people (muslim) in the US do you know that are poor? Or where other than family/friends here can you distribute the meat? FOr me its hard to find such real needy people, and meat is sent to people that can afford it themselves. Isn't it better in that sense to send it back home to dadi/khala whoever to distribute the meat to real poor needy people by hand and make sure of it?
Ya, Allah! I was using 'money sending' as an example. You can use any example you want. This is how least **important **Sharaiat becomes in these cases. All the emphasis will be on these rituals one day and Aqeeqa and othe sharai orders will be secondary, or a mere 'formality'.
Our weddings is the biggest example. In months of prepration, nobody talks about Nikkah (except when it will be done, once its date is set, everone forgets about it), and in all those months we hear, mehndi preps-decor-stage-DJ, mayoo's doli, wedding dresses and other things.
Some 40 years ago, Nikkah was the main function and then Valima. Both are Sunnah. Now they are nowhere near to the importance given to Mehndi, mayoo and receptions etc. Valima is done for show off purposes these days, to book the most expensive 6 star hotel beyond one's status.
I am sorry, I didn't realise that you are helding one for yourself, otherwise I would not have post it here. I wanted to talk about it for quiet some time, so when I saw a thread on this topic I could not resist.
Now I read all the replies in the first page of this thread. Congratulations! and enjoy whatever you do in these days of happiness and joy. May Allah be with you and your child. I didn't mean to hurt anyone in personal. All I wrote was for society in general, and I don't want to bitter others happiness.
