guys serving food to guests? guys ironing their wives clothes?
how do u guys feel abt this?
somebody commented on this female’s clothes and she was like, oh its my hubby’s choice. whatever he takes out and irons in the morning i jus wear that.
recently we were served the naashta (snacks) by the son of the family we were visiting. he was giving out the plates and then he brought in the glasses of cold drinks as well and went around to serve them. when he was giving me my plate i felt hecka sorry k the poor guy must feel so insulted k i am giving out the snacks?!? one of the females of his family then ordered him to get the table and he like got the table for me to put my glass there.
this was a first. hmmmmmmmmmmmmm
on one side of the coin is the fact that the Holy Prophet (saw) used to do everythng from mending his shoes to house work to milking the goats. but then where do cultural norms & society come into play in all this?
even culturally come to think of it. in our own country. the desert siraiki tribesmen in southern punjab. the oods. and also in some areas in balochistan. the way they live is like the guy stays at home, has several wives, he sits on his charpai all drink drinking his hukka and stuff, and his wives are responsible for providing the livelihood. but these men dont do anything at home either. they just laze around the whole day and r there just to provide so called “protection” to the women. hmmm…weird
lekin i dono…i mean that guy who irons his wives clothes…the girls in front of the guys were defending him k “wah ji what a nice and considerate hubby” bla bla… but aapas mein all were thinking k how weird… and the guys were making fun of him and cracking jokes abt him.. (ofcourse he wasnt present there)
There is nothing wrong with guys doing house hold work. They should be encouraged to do so. From helping out in kitchen to straightening up their room.
A husband ironing his wife's clothes is a great thing! Considering the amount of time women take to get ready, it will help in making the desi parties start on time if the husbands start helping in getting the wify get ready along with the kids.
Well irem there are a lot of desi hubbys I knwo who help their wives out..in fact I know several who LOVE to cook and my own dad does the dishes and vaccums. And why on earth should a boy feel insulted in serving guests or setting the table?
And by desi I don't mean indian catholic, I mean pakistani muslim, this thing of housework being a womans job is sooo last century...and mind you the husbands who do all this have wives who don't go to work..but they still help around the house and help their kids with home work..gives the wife some time to hit the malll or go out with the neighbour's wife next door...
Ahmadjee, political correctness aside, tell me honestly: would you be embarrassed or flatterred if your wife announced in a gathering (attended by your relatives and desi workmates) that she was wearing a jora ironed by you? Even IF my brother was helping in the kitchen on a regular basis I don't think I would announce it proudly to the world BECAUSE the truth remains that the guys would make fun of such a guy as being "sissy" and bla bla and the girls would think he's girly.
irem - a husband ironing his wife's clothes and her making it public may not be a problem for him or her. May be they both feel comfortable doing this that they don't consider it 'sissy' or 'girlie'.
Don't some men publicly announce how good their wives cook, clean and raise children?.
I remember when I was growing up my parents will always make sure that the boys serve the guests and not my sister - specially if there were any males among visitors.
Let me announce it on gupshup that since my marriage I have ironed my wife’s clothes more than she has ironed mine. In fact I have probably cooked more times than her too. When my wife is busy with other things I have changed Misbah’s dipper, given her a bath & I usually do my own laundry. She does the dusting on the weekends while I vacuum. We split grocery lists to save time & even share the remote control.
And the guys who consider such actions sissy can shove it!
Seriously, I think it’s great that men help out their wives and don’t just sit on their backsides expecting to be waited on hand and foot. Kudos to you! :k:
Mashallah iv raised my brother up as a "real" man, a man who has no shame in admitting that if he can cook, iron and even clean the bathroom. He loves the fatc that i tell people that he makes the nicest tea, and he knows that theres nothing wrong with helping out. Sometimes i tell him he cant wash the dishes as he makes too much mess...the water goes everywhere!
and when time of the month comes he does everything he possibly can to help out. I love my brother...im never going to let him get married and leave me :(
irem, I don't think anything's wrong with that either. My dad always helps around the house, as do my brothers. If we have guests over and everyone's sitting around the table, it's not expected of us females to always serve. My dad and brothers do it too. Actually, they do it more.
If a woman can work full time and still be expected to manage a household, it's only fair for the "man" to share in the household responsibility..... without being ashamed of it.
wha is this damned if you do and damned if you dont business.
so if a guy is a friggin king of the castle and his wife slaves around that is not good eh, and then if someone wants to share in the chores and does work around the house, thata a problem too...daaamn man i hafta like do a dissection job on this thread soon
*Ahmadjee, political correctness aside, tell me honestly: would you be embarrassed or flatterred if your wife announced in a gathering (attended by your relatives and desi workmates) that she was wearing a jora ironed by you? *
Now do you really think that anyone in this day and age does not know how to iron excluding spoilt brats, pygmies from the congo basin or ppl who have never seen an iron?
I learnt to iron at school age, used to iron my own clothes and my dads, polished the shoes of everyone in the house and damn I was good at it.
and same for serving food...I mean did no one entertain guests while single? some of the best parties I have thrown were when i was single..
Even IF my brother was helping in the kitchen on a regular basis I don't think I would announce it proudly to the world BECAUSE the truth remains that the guys would make fun of such a guy as being "sissy" and bla bla and the girls would think he's girly.
who cares what "girls" think, the same girls will be crying in a few years when their husband tells em to mop the floor and keep the bathroom clean and then they will whine about how zaalim their husband is :) and guys who think that guys doing work around the house are sissies, are immature, unsophisticated and have hang ups :)
but then where do cultural norms & society come into play in all this?
which culture, does Pakistan have one culture? or do we have many subcultures? does a banker and his doctor wife living at clifton have the same lifestyle as a farmer and his wife in chuk#42? or that of a tribal leader in mardaan?
*even culturally come to think of it. in our own country. the desert siraiki tribesmen in southern punjab. the oods. and also in some areas in balochistan. the way they live is like the guy stays at home, has several wives, he sits on his charpai all drink drinking his hukka and stuff, and his wives are responsible for providing the livelihood. but these men dont do anything at home either. they just laze around the whole day and r there just to provide so called "protection" to the women. hmmm...weird *
and how much do you socialize with a desert siraiki tribesman, or some balochi sardaar?
*lekin i dono...i mean that guy who irons his wives clothes...the girls in front of the guys were defending him k "wah ji what a nice and considerate hubby" bla bla... but aapas mein all were thinking k how weird... and the guys were making fun of him and cracking jokes abt him.. (ofcourse he wasnt present there) *
Obviously, if the reverse was said that a guy wears whetver his wife irons for him, then there would be no issues. Then we worry about equality or parity in roles.
obviously there is some good natured leg pulling when you find someone to tease about, but if it is more than that then the couple in question really need to find a more civilized and progressive social circle.
dont know about gharelu mard , but in my own family everyone helps out . Me n my brother used to set up the table n stuff for lunch and dinner , got the food to the table n stuff. Not because of being gharelu , but cuz its how u help out. Cant have just ur mom or ur sister doing all the stuff especially when they have guests over n need stuff u know .
lol irem u seem like a girl who is always worried about "log kya kahay gai". my husband loves to cook and my own dad does lot of house hold chores to help me n my mom.
i think its cute, shows that they care and appreciate u. :-)
