GF Hates Punjabi

Lifestyle Relationships
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41

Re: GF Hates Punjabi

ami tumako bhalo bashi ni :smiley: yeah maybe

42

Re: GF Hates Punjabi

Hindi futures are at all time highs

43

Re: GF Hates Punjabi

This thread is weird.

Lots of Punjabis who have lived in KHI do not like to speak Punjabi because they don’t have the hang of it or not comfortable with it. I don’t think its a big deal.

And as for her being home and passing on the language, etc…that is your job. If you want to teach your native language to your kids, you do it. You don’t dump your work on your wife and pretend as if you have nothing to do with the kid aside from making it. :slight_smile: A healthy upbringing usually consists of both mother and father doing their part.

Born and raised in the US and I speak fluent Urdu with no accent whatsoever and its not because my dad told my mom to stay home and do it herself…he was a part of it every step of the way.

So instead of forcing others to change…you change first. Maybe if you stop pushing Punjabi on her, she might take an interest.

44

Lol why are you movies featuring punjabi songs :stuck_out_tongue:

45

Im not forcing anything on her she is asking me to stop talking in punjabi

46

Re: GF Hates Punjabi

LOL then stop. wuts the issue here? And if you dont, its actually you forcing it then. DUH

47

Re: GF Hates Punjabi

My SIL as in brothers wife refuses to speak punjabi, but it’s a non issue, my mum speaks to her in punjabi and she answers back in Urdu, so she can do the same with your family. Come to think of it, her parents also spoke punjabi but her or any of the siblings didn’t, think its because the new generation all spoke Urdu at school.

But if this is gonna be a major issue for u, then sort it out now, before its too late. Don’t insist to her later that she must.

48

Re: GF Hates Punjabi

I hate speaking in Urdu… My husband speaks it very well with his family and mine. I just listen and respond in English. It really isn’t a big deal.

49

Re: GF Hates Punjabi

I’m going to take the other side here… I don’t think you should be forcing her to speak Punjabi if she doesn’t want to, but I do think it’s odd that she doesn’t want you to speak it and refuses to let her future potential kids learn it. If it’s part of your culture and heritage then she should at least respect it, doesn’t mean she has to speak it but to effectively prevent it from being spoken around her is kind of ridiculous. It’s hardly something to be passionately against as well.

In the end I don’t think this issue is much of a deal breaker, but that being said I would question her attitude. It’s your language, I’ve seen plenty of couples take an interest in learning the other person’s language, and I don’t see why she would be so deadset against it being spoken by you and future kids.

50

Re: GF Hates Punjabi

:hehe: Yeh kesa jawb howa… chat bhi apni pat bhi apni…

51

Re: GF Hates Punjabi

She has some deep rooted unresolved issues if she “hates” a language, and wants to forbid her future kids speaking it. She doesn’t have to speak punjabi if she doesn’t want to but to hate it? She needs to grow up fast.

52

Re: GF Hates Punjabi

this is a non-issue.
you can speak in Punjabi all day with folks other then this lady … since you dont plan on sitting around at home, you’ll be speaking it most of the day. switch to urdu or whatever during the hours you plan to be home.
kids … well what do you care what the kids learn/speak … if you aint interested enough to teach them your language yourself?.

im urdu speaking married to punjabi. it never was and never will be an issue. it would have been if he had insisted i speak it … cuz i dont and the little that i do sounds funny, embarrasses me and makes him laugh. similarly, if he started rattling off to me in punjabi …i’d get 25% of what he’s saying and that just wouldn’t be effective communication.
our kids are learning both languages. urdu from me, punjabi from him.

53

Re: GF Hates Punjabi

You’re communication skills are terrible. What exactly is the problem? Is it that SHE refuses to speak Punjabi? Or is it that she wants YOU to stop speaking Punjabi?

Either way, this is not rocket science. If she has made it clear to you that she has no interest in learning/speaking Punjabi, for whatever reason, then that’s the end of that conversation. She is an adult and has told you what her decision is. Respect it and stop trying to change her mind.

Now if she is making it clear to you that she doesn’t want YOU to speak Punjabi anymore, then YOU need to decide what compromise you’re willing to make in order to continue this relationship. If this girl is really that special, then make that sacrifice and stop complaining. But if speaking Punjabi is really that important to you, then end this relationship and find another girl who values Punjabi as much as you do.

You are just dating this girl; neither of your families are involved and there is no formal rishta between the two of you. This is the time to use your brain and figure out whether this girl’s values/future plans for family match yours. If it doesn’t, then no need to go forward.

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Re: GF Hates Punjabi

Weird…this whole thread is about you wanting her to learn Punjabi.

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Re: GF Hates Punjabi

I know you find my answers strange and different, i purposely wrote them that way. im glad you were able to point it out :slight_smile:

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Re: GF Hates Punjabi

Punjabi can be sweet

Can be vulgar

She might have experienced the vulgar side thus disliked