GF Hates Punjabi

Lifestyle Relationships
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21

Re: GF Hates Punjabi

well you didnt read what i wrote, i said since i wont be home she'd be taking care of the kids and other chores.
if i wont be home i dont know how you suggest her getting pregnant. :P

22

Re: GF Hates Punjabi

Are you guys like intimate in punjabi as well? Like "Ki haal ah soniye, zara lakk te hila BURRAAAAHHHH* Drum solo.

23

Re: GF Hates Punjabi

well its not really an issue you see, the issue is from her side when i do humorously bring up the topic she seems to absolutely hate it and even say that not us or the kids will speak punjabi ever she hates it and doesnt want me to speak in punjabi too

24

Re: GF Hates Punjabi

LOL yeah well i wish we could she hates it even if i say ki haal eh

25

Re: GF Hates Punjabi

oye chaa gya eh veeraa :D

26

Re: GF Hates Punjabi

I always wondered if Punjabis speak punjabi in bed. Like well you know what I mean. It'll be the most hilarious thing ever!

27

I always wondered if Punjabis speak punjabi in bed. Like well you know what I mean. It'll be the most hilarious thing ever!
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Like its not in any language its just how low of pov have anything :)

28

Re: GF Hates Punjabi

I fell in love with someone that even though knows Punjabi; doesn't speak it. Person loves to talk in English, although for me talking in English 24/7 is a drag. I like conversing in Urdu, but they barely speak anything but English. Sometimes I doubt they even have Pakistani origins. I feel they're pure white British, but that's the way it is. If you love someone and want them in your life, you have to adapt to and accept few things. I love listening only to Punjabi songs and UK Bhangra, that person couldn't care less. They listen to English songs and Indian Bollywood ones. What happened? To be able to share things with the person, I started to listen to English songs and guess what? I found some nice music that I liked. Music that they like too. We talk about music now and share. Which is brilliant! If I had been stubborn that the person listens to UK Bhangra, it wouldn't have worked and both parties would have been pissed off at one another etc.

If you really love this girl and see her in your life for a long time to come and you are sincere to her, then it doesn't matter if she doesn't wanna talk in Punjabi etc. However, if it something that is of the utmost importance to you, then I think you should re-evaluate your relationship with her. For me Punjabi roots is everything. I love everything Punjabi. I love speaking Punjabi. Listening to Punjabi songs etc. I only accept people in my life, that accept me for who I am, and not otherwise. Similarly, she is asking you to accept her for who she is and fact of the matter is, she's from Karachi, she's Urdu speaking and she doesn't like Punjabi. DO not force something on her, if she is to adapt to Punjabi, it'll happen gradually.

29

Re: GF Hates Punjabi

Do you honestly think she'll talk in a language she doesn't care for when she's not in front of you? Not happening. It's like those guys who marry non-muslim women and then miraculously expect Muslim children. Women unconsciously give their own traditions and values and culture to kids. When she talks to her friends, family even on the phone her kid will be listening. When she watches TV or listens to songs her kid will be listening (because who the heck is going to watch Punjabi TV anyway lol). When she talks to herself it definitely won't be in Punjabi. It's not her mother tongue and people always go back to their mother tongue whether you like it or not. Men who don't interact with their kids or make any effort don't get a choice. Well, they do have a choice but they just don't take it. I've seen half white kids who speak Khalis Urdu because their dads made the effort so the ball is in your court.

30

Re: GF Hates Punjabi

If this issue was that important to you OP, you should have thought about it way before you got involved with someone who doesn't like Punjabi, you can't change people to suddenly like and speak something they are not accustomed to. Albeit, it does suck because Punjabi just has this charm that no other language can come close to portraying but if you care for her then don't force it. As far as kids speaking Punjabi goes, you can teach them yourself by always speaking to them in Punjabi when you ARE home, it's not that big of an issue.

31

Re: GF Hates Punjabi

That's a major red flag. Why doesn't she want you to speak it? Her not speaking it is her prerogative but controlling your use of Punjabi or forbidding you from teaching it to your kids is unreasonable. You're not married yet so think these things through.

32

Re: GF Hates Punjabi

Compromise. Both of you speak to each other in Hindi for the rest of your jindagi.

33

Re: GF Hates Punjabi

It’s zindagi you phillistine! :hypo:

34

Thats exactly im saying and feeling I feel lile not paki at all since ive been talking in either english or urdu. But my roots r from punjab and I love listening to punjabi songs aswell.
I accept the way she is and she accepts me aswell I guess and since im talking in english and urdu with her I think she should also go ahead and talk to me in punjabi I mean theres no trouble in that. But she is even removing it from my future roots. I love languages I can speak udu punjabi arabic english german hindi and a bit of pashto too our kids should benefit from it dont u think and we shouldnt stop them from it.

35

That's a major red flag. Why doesn't she want you to speak it? Her not speaking it is her prerogative but controlling your use of Punjabi or forbidding you from teaching it to your kids is unreasonable. You're not married yet so think these things through.
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Exactly what I was thinking

36

She thinks punjabi is cheap imagine hindi

37

I speak many languages but its the charm of punjabi that brought me towards it.

Its very open and honest and expressive I guess

38

Re: GF Hates Punjabi

It can't be assumed that she hates or dislikes the language just because OP wants her to speak it. It's possible that she didn't have a fondness for Punjabi before OP even entered her life. Maybe she never liked the sound of it. I admit the cadence of German doesn't sound too pleasing to my ears.

Secondly, regardless of what language she speaks....is she respectful toward her elders and everyone else? There are men who are married to women that are very fluent in their native/ethnic language but un k bolne ka dhang/andaaz is often sharp and rude.

Your kids will still get exposure to Punjabi when they interact with your side of the family (grandparents, uncles aunts) and from you ...and especially when they see you speaking to your family and friends. So, it will reach their ears....your wife can't prevent it altogether. To be honest, I see many Desi kids who are too embarrassed to even speak Urdu....so if your kids become fluent even just Urdu, which is the national and unifying language of Pakistan....woh bhi bari baat hogi. I always thought it was hot if a guy could speak Urdu fluently and with confidence.

But the way you both are pressuring each other in regards to language can cause unnecessary resentment. You both don't have children yet. People always make claims that they will do xyz ...or that they will never do abc....when they have kids....and then they end up surprising themselves when they actually become parents. If the language is a dealbreaker for you, then let her go. But it seems to me that you decided to marry her for reasons that went beyond Punjabi. And things like her faith/iman, character, behavior, etc etc will have a deeper impact on the marriage and family. If a girl is lacking in these qualities then even if she were to speak farr-farr Punjabi....you'll tire of her soon.

39

Re: GF Hates Punjabi

Listen, this someone started to sing Punjabi songs etc, forget just listen, just by being in my presence and continuously talking to me. I think you're overthinking it. I am sure that she will come around to it, if she isn't forced into it. But if you strongly feel about it that much, I don't think she's the right person for you.

40

Re: GF Hates Punjabi

maybe a compromise is in order. the two of you could learn bangali.