okay so im with this girl and we have decided to get married almost months away from getting our parents involved. although i knew it from the first day somewhat she hates talking in punjabi and we are full on punjabi family and i love talking in punjabi how do i convince her or is it even thing to ask her to talk in punjabi.
Re: GF Hates Punjabi
Even the most full-on Punjabi families still know how to speak in Urdu. That said, if this girl knows how to speak Urdu, then she'll still be able to communicate with your parents, etc. In the grand scheme of things, it's a non-issue. You both have been communicating for a while now and the understanding which has developed between you two did not result from speaking Punjabi to each other. It resulted from speaking in English or Urdu or both. If she doesn't feel comfortable, don't push her. I'm Punjabi. My parents speak in Punjabi with each other, but they speak in Urdu and English with us. I can understand Punjabi well, but I am not fluent in speaking the language. And when I've attempted to speak, I've been told I don't have the right accent. Personally, I've always preferred the sound/flow of Urdu to Punjabi. It's not a big deal, OP. Lastly, and this is just a suggestion, if you both have firmly decided upon marriage, then don't unnecessarily delay involving the parents.
Re: GF Hates Punjabi
i dont know i mean i havent been to pak for 20 years now and we initially started communicating in English before transitiong to urdu however in recent years i have embraced and learned punjabi more as i belong to those roots. She on the other hand is from khi so idk that could be issue idk.
yes sure we will be in december you are invited :)
Re: GF Hates Punjabi
Ugh… Karachiites :halo:
Re: GF Hates Punjabi
Singing in the rain, is a must,
Speaking in Punjabi, not so much.
Re: GF Hates Punjabi
My mum married into a family that spoke mostly Punjabi. All of them speak to her in Urdu because they were considerate people. She understands it now (it used to be complete gibberish to her before) but still can't speak it. I never learnt it either because my dad doesn't speak anything but Urdu at home so if you want your kids to learn it you will need to teach them yourself. I can actually mimick it pretty well but people switch to Urdu immediately when they talk to me because I'll never have the accent.
Re: GF Hates Punjabi
LOL i used to say the same to here when i met her but i was bit more racist brown skin urdu speaking karachiites
Re: GF Hates Punjabi
Singing in the rain, is a must, Speaking in Punjabi, not so much.
oye when you see a punjabi salute a punjabi :P
Re: GF Hates Punjabi
My mum married into a family that spoke mostly Punjabi. All of them speak to her in Urdu because they were considerate people. She understands it now (it used to be complete gibberish to her before) but still can't speak it. I never learnt it either because my dad doesn't speak anything but Urdu at home so if you want your kids to learn it you will need to teach them yourself. I can actually mimick it pretty well but people switch to Urdu immediately when they talk to me because I'll never have the accent.
yes totally true but i think my wife should atleast speak the language that i speak even if she never gets the accent, and even pass it onto the kids .
Re: GF Hates Punjabi
oye when you see a punjabi salute a punjabi :P
bandook ki salaami ya topo ki salaami???
Re: GF Hates Punjabi
not trying to start a civil war here 
Re: GF Hates Punjabi
chalo cold war kar lete hain…aapke naam me bhi cool hai 
Re: GF Hates Punjabi
yes totally true but i think my wife should atleast speak the language that i speak even if she never gets the accent, and even pass it onto the kids .
Maybe that's why she hates Punjabi because you're forcing something on her that's she's just not ready for. She doesn't HAVE to speak Punjabi. And she isn't the only one responsible for teaching your future kids stuff. They will have a dad too.
Re: GF Hates Punjabi
Maybe that's why she hates Punjabi because you're forcing something on her that's she's just not ready for. She doesn't HAVE to speak Punjabi. And she isn't the only one responsible for teaching your future kids stuff. They will have a dad too.
your reply clearly states your female (no offence)... Honey daddy is not gonna be home all the time to teach kids.
Re: GF Hates Punjabi
oye when you see a punjabi salute a punjabi :P
Oye Punjabi,
Here is the salute
From Southie oye
Re: GF Hates Punjabi
your reply clearly states your female (no offence)... Honey daddy is not gonna be home all the time to teach kids.
And she's going to be what, sitting at home pregnant all the time?
Re: GF Hates Punjabi
why do you want her to talk in punjabi? Just let her be who she is, if she wants to talk in punjabi, she will, otherwise why make it an issue.
Is she stopping you from having a conversation in punjabi?
Re: GF Hates Punjabi
To the OP,
You need to reconsider your obsession with her speaking Punjabi if you really this girl. She's not gonna speak it just because you want her to. Her reluctance with Punjabi doesn't necessarily mean she hates the language. It's possible she doesn't like how she sounds when she trys to speak it or she is scared of being judged for sounding horrible. You might think, "Hey, we can fix that. I'll tell her she sounds great." That's not exactly how it works.
You could negotiate something that could get her comfortable with Punjabi down the line. Let her know about your love for Punjabi and that you love/like her hence you wanting to share the language with her. Hopefully she's a reasonable person and agrees to you talking to her in Punjabi. You let her know that you're okay with her replying in any language. Initially, use Punjabi mostly when you're having lighthearted fun conversations. The idea is to get her comfortable with the language (hint: confrontation is not going to accomplish that).
You don't ask her to talk in Punjabi, you ask her if you can talk in it. This may or may not get her talking in Punjabi but it's worth a shot if you really like the girl. Break things off now if the possibility of her never speaking Punjabi is a deal breaker for you.
Man how stupid. Does she even KNOW punjabi?! Lol
Im urdu speaking married into a pujabi family. I prefer urdu and thats what we conversate in. Other than the fact i can not and will never speak punjabi. Just aint me.
I dont even know how this can be a demand. :rotato:
Re: GF Hates Punjabi
yes totally true but i think my wife should atleast speak the language that i speak *even if she never gets the accent, and even pass it onto the kids *.
Not really..
It's up to her what she wants to speak.. You should accept the way she is or move on.. Not fair to demand or expect something she might not feel comfortable with..