…just makes me wonder in some weird ways how backwards our people really are. It reminded of when I was a child and these things were supposed to be “hidden.” However, I guess I was fortunate as my life was never impacted to that extent. But I know girls who are forced to pray or fast at those times even though they definitely didn’t have to.
I understand completely about having a little bit of shame and modesty about these things…cz no one wants to hear long lectures or anything about it…but what upsets me is that when our religion has given a break for women and all men (at least he married ones) are aware of what a period is…what is the need to be forced to fast/pray simply out of fear of the truth?
Sara it has everything to do with the insecurities that we have with ourselves. The fact is that our Iman is weak, hence all the actions around it are weak too. We are also not comfortable with who we are.
The easiest thing we can do in such a situation is to just close our eyes and start pretending that everything is ok. We don't have problems if we can't see them.
It's unfortunate and it's depressing but that's the reality.
I"d like to know waht the religious impact of it is....as far as I know a prayer is not valid if one is on her periods...and neither is a fast... but is a girl sinning if she does b/c of those circumstances?
I just hate that its a natural part of our biology, just like bodily functions yet its supposed to make women feel ashamed of themselves
Ansoon, man, idk. you could be right....but I just feel bad, if someone "forced" to fast, especially when the rozas for the next few years are going to be 16+ hours.
The only solution I can think of is to not do the same with our children.....?
Things are not always so black and white as they seem to be. Mostly people are brought up under the influence of culture where even to speak loudly in front of elders is frowned upon.
And I feel somethings are very personal and should be left on that person how he/she wants to do it. If some one does not want to be open about their periods/sexlife/joblesness he/she should not have to justify their position
Not every one does these things because they thing it's an obligation by the culture or religion, some times people do it because they want it to do that way. In simpler words stop over analyzing
It's not about the kind of shame which has guilt associated with it. Neither is it so big a problem that we blame it on weak imaan. It's just a concept of haya. The issue of periods naturally comes with an air of secrecy about it. Otherwise, we wouldn't have creative names like Aunt Flow etc for it.
Do you really know girls who are forced to put an act in the average pakistani household? Or do they choose to do so on their own to avoid embarrassment (but not shame)?
I"d like to know waht the religious impact of it is....as far as I know a prayer is not valid if one is on her periods...and neither is a fast... but is a girl sinning if she does b/c of those circumstances?
Chipotle.....in response to your comment in the other thread, you're not the only one who has sharm-o-hayaa. Even our religion doesn't make things so complicated and difficult for us, as much as culture does.
PS I would never tell my dad or my brother "I have my period" (nor have I ever) but I don't know anyone who would appreciate being forced to do anything.
I agree i believe now we are living in the modern world and some of the traditions such as pretending to fast are way extreme. Last year me and the hubby had the last 4 days of ramadan in Pakistan and I was on my periods at the time so that night i told my SIL that I would not be waking up for sehri and my MIL said but you must what will your husband say, what shall we tell him that you are not keeping a fast. I was like he's my husband I'm sure he knows by now what goes on with my body once a month lol Anyway my MIL was so shocked she said that i was impure, dirty etc for telling such a thing to my husband.
Point is there is no shame in this and there is no reason to force someone to keep a fast they will more than likely make up the days they missed after
^ Ok thats the first i've heard....that you shouldn't tell your husband about your periods..lol. What did she think when you were having children??!??!
Do you really know girls who are forced to put an act in the average pakistani household? Or do they choose to do so on their own to avoid embarrassment (but not shame)?
I remember my dad used to ask my mom only once, did you wake up everyone for sehri? And mom used to say yeah, everyone who's supposed to fast is here and that would be it, no more questions from dad..... I'm glad my mother never told us to wake up and pretend to fast.
About prayers, I don't think girls pretend to pray when they're not supposed to, since they never pray in front of men..... they just go inside their rooms and thats about it.
Haan, magar fasting ka chakkar hota hai..... my MIL's answer is to usually tell the men she's fasting without sehri. Men should not ask questions about girls fasting anyways, should use their common sense.
I've never been "forced" to fast or pray.....to hide that I have my period. My dad will sometimes forget and ask something like "You're not fasting today?" or "Did you fast all the days?" I don't answer....and then my mom will respond to him with a ...."WTH look"...and then my dad gets it, lol....end of discussion.
With my brother.....he asked me a few years ago why I wasn't fasting....and I told him "Women don't pray or fast when they have their period." To which he calmly responded with "Oh." He didn't give me a dirty look or throw a cow. I think it was handled maturely by him. And now that he knows about this rule.......he doesn't bug me with the unnecessary question of "Why aren't you fasting?" Cuz I put an end to it.
I think that there are various ways or responding to such questions. You can respond with silence. You can tell the person that I'm not required to fast during this time....and if they ask why.......tell em to research it on the Internet. Islam does value seeking/gaining knowledge. You can even lie and say you're not feeling well, etc.........but that won't put a stop to the questions and you might hear em again. You can eat when those that are fasting are not around (it's polite anyways). But actually getting on the jaan-namaz and praying...when you know fully well that you shouldn't be....just to keep up appearances....that's wrong.
I agree i believe now we are living in the modern world and some of the traditions such as pretending to fast are way extreme. Last year me and the hubby had the last 4 days of ramadan in Pakistan and I was on my periods at the time so that night i told my SIL that I would not be waking up for sehri and my MIL said but you must what will your husband say, what shall we tell him that you are not keeping a fast. I was like he's my husband I'm sure he knows by now what goes on with my body once a month lol** Anyway my MIL was so shocked** she said that i was impure, dirty etc for telling such a thing to my husband.
Point is there is no shame in this and there is no reason to force someone to keep a fast they will more than likely make up the days they missed after
I’m hoping that Momof2Angels told her MIL and SIL that her husband already knows when it’s that time of the month. I would have loved to see their shocked expressions. True Kodak moment…priceless. LOL.
I agree i believe now we are living in the modern world and some of the traditions such as pretending to fast are way extreme. Last year me and the hubby had the last 4 days of ramadan in Pakistan and I was on my periods at the time so that night i told my SIL that I would not be waking up for sehri and my MIL said but you must what will your husband say, what shall we tell him that you are not keeping a fast. I was like he's my husband I'm sure he knows by now what goes on with my body once a month lol Anyway my MIL was so shocked she said that i was impure, dirty etc for telling such a thing to my husband.
Point is there is no shame in this and there is no reason to force someone to keep a fast they will more than likely make up the days they missed after
^ I am left speechless! This has to be the most jahil mentality ever!
^ Ok thats the first i've heard....that you shouldn't tell your husband about your periods..lol. What did she think when you were having children??!??!
