Hi all, I have a question. I married a jerk 2.5 years ago. I applied for his immigration, paid all fees and lent him A LOT of money over the months to help him out financially since his job wasn’t paying much and he was giving all his money to his mom (who I think does a lot of fazool kharchi).
Every few months I gave him some amount. He always said that he would pay me back.
I’m in the process of talking to a few lawyers about khulla and I asked him to pay me back now. His exact words were “kisi ka baap bhi mujh say paisay nahi nikalwa sakta”.
Last week I messaged his eldest sister and told her that I had lent him money and I really need it back now so if she could ask him to please pay it back. She messages back saying that she has asked him but I shouldn’t have lent him any money.
Anywho, today I got really pissed off because I had asked him again that I need money for down payment on a house and I’m not rich I had worked hard for that money so he goes “I’m busy I have to buy bread for mom”. So I got really angry and told him that his mom was fat always eating bread. It was stupid of me to say but I was so pissed off at him. He repeated his famous quote “tum kiya tumhara baap …”.
Now please tell me how I can get my money back? If it was a small amount I would forget about it but its over $10, 000 that he owes me and I’m moving out on my own on a single income and need as much as I can get. Is it possible to sue him in Pakistan?
This is not fair though. I have worked all those years and hped him in his time of need to pay his fees and rent etc etc. His own family never even helped him. The least he could do it pay me back. I have all money gram receipts because I has to submit to immigration. Can't I use them against him?
Sure, you can do that. And get ready to spend even more $$$$ taking him to court. By the time it's all said and done, I doubt you'll see a single penny. I've been in a similar situation before...not with marriage, but with trying to get money from someone who owes me, and believe me, it's so not worth the frustration and agony. Move on. You'll be better off in the long run.
Wth why do people think it should be easy for someone to get away with this? This way I could go out and borrow loads of money from people and never pay them back! There has to be a way! Instead of going to court I should just hire a gunman and have him shot in the leg or something and that'll scare him into paying up!
Life is not fair. Courts will not award you “your” money back that you WILLINGLY gave to your HUSBAND! And since you sponsored him…legally you are/were responsible for him financially while he was in the country anyway. Can you prove that he somehow forced you to give him the money or forced you to marry/sponsor him? Can you actually prove that he agreed that the money was a loan and that he would return it? Nope. All you have are the hateful words of a bitter ex-wife going after her husband for $$ since the marriage is now over (at least that’s how the courts will see it).
Like I said already…expensive life lesson. Move on and don’t make the same mistakes again.
Wth why do people think it should be easy for someone to get away with this? This way I could go out and borrow loads of money from people and never pay them back! There has to be a way! Instead of going to court I should just hire a gunman and have him shot in the leg or something and that'll scare him into paying up!
This wasn't a loan...you gave money to your husband and even if you thought of it as a loan...you have no proof it was. No contract. You sponsored your husband and took financial responsibility for when you sponsored him. There is an affidavit of support he could just wave in front of the judge and that's all it would take.
Some things just cannot be recovered. That's how life teaches us lessons we never forget. No one here is saying what happened was right, its just reality. It'll save you a ton of time, heartache and money if you just let it go.
He's not here yet. I emailed and then faxed immigration a letter stating my intention of taking a divorce. He's still in Pakistan. I loaned him money for his fees even before we were married. I have several emails from him staying that he would pay me back, for all they are worth. I just feel its not right that he should get away with this Scott free. If it was that easy for people then wouldn't everyone just start doing this sort of thing to others? There has to be a way of making him pay back.
E-mails don’t matter. There is no way to prove beyond a doubt that he is the person that typed that e-mail.
LOL…if you find someone who is stupid enough to “loan” you $10,000 without a written, legally binding contract OR without any collateral…then by all means, go get the money and run.
I am not a lawyer. But I believe emails do matter. In civil cases you don't need to prove beyond a reasonable doubt. Moreover even in criminal cases emails are used as evidence.
Don't know abt Pakistan law. Try to get some help from women's organizations where you live and see what they suggest. Maybe they can draft a letter for you.
He's not here yet. I emailed and then faxed immigration a letter stating my intention of taking a divorce. He's still in Pakistan. I loaned him money for his fees even before we were married. I have several emails from him staying that he would pay me back, for all they are worth. I just feel its not right that he should get away with this Scott free. If it was that easy for people then wouldn't everyone just start doing this sort of thing to others? There has to be a way of making him pay back.
Okay, emails are good. Now just finding a lawyer and suing him in Pakistan. Once you sue him, then there will be the matter of him actually paying up. If he had $10,000...he wouldn't have asked you for it. So again...cut your losses and move on.
I know right now the last thing you want to do is let this go. But the best thing for you to do is close this chapter of your life as soon and as quickly as possible.
Yes, it is possible but it would take a couple of decades to get the case through and you'd spend more on lawyers and stuff.
You actually married that guy but I've seen a lot of cases with western and asian women giving much larger amounts, usually to Black guys in Malaysia and Africa (not stereotyping but it is a fact), for promises to marry. Very little legal remedy is available for such cases where the parties reside in different countries. Moving on, as others have suggested, is a more sensible choice.
whether or not he has the money to pay you back, he knows that you can't recover it from him while he is sitting there........
so yeah, you can have him knee-capped but what will that accomplish? some short-term feeling of satisfaction?
unless you have other means of applying pressure on him/his family, moving on is the only sane choice.
in the grand scheme of things (i.e. including the fact that you discovered he's a jerk and you don't have to spend any more time attached to him or carrying his burden).....$10K is not really a whole lot of money. it won't take you very long to save it up again.
secondly, even if we assume for a min that you actually "lended" it, did you guys sign any legal papers? I guess NO? You might be able to win the case against him on the basis of emails (very remote chances though) but in the end you will end up spending more time, money and peace of mind on recovering your 10 grand.
And since you sponsored him…legally you are/were responsible for him financially while he was in the country anyway. Can you prove that he somehow forced you to give him the money or forced you to marry/sponsor him? Can you actually prove that he agreed that the money was a loan and that he would return it? Nope. All you have are the hateful words of a bitter ex-wife going after her husband for $$ since the marriage is now over (at least that’s how the courts will see it).