Re: Getting married to someone you don't want to get married to!
i m kinda scared that i might be getting married the way my sis did which is pretty scary. My mum found her a rishta in Pak and arranged everything, offcourse she did the whole bckground check and my dad was here in USA making calls to verify everything. My sis saw the pic of the guy like two weeks before the wedding and we all went to Pak a week before the wedding and she met the guy two days before the nikah. My dad did give her the permission to say NO if she didnt like the guy, but who was he kidding. I dont think i can get into a marriage like this. My dad is cool if i like someone he will surely look into it. My mum only wants to import a doc guy from Pak for me (just like she did for my sis). I dont think i would be able to do that
so find a guy you like, send him to Pak for a few weeks, and make somebody from there approach your Mom as if it is a Pak doc! problem solved.......
Re: Getting married to someone you don't want to get married to!
Well its a personal preference though ofcourse dating not being allowed in Islam is one strong factor that makes me not do it. I know dating doesnt necessairly involve the physical part but still going out with unknown people in an attempt to get to know the real them neither does appeal to me or sound right to me. PLus, i highly doubt it works because how many people are going to show their honest self.
hmm... so how are you going to like someone by your choice if you don't meet with them, talk with them, etc.
and by the way do you think ppl show their honest selves in arrange marriages?
Re: Getting married to someone you don't want to get married to!
hmm... so how are you going to like someone by your choice if you don't meet with them, talk with them, etc.
and by the way do you think ppl show their honest selves in arrange marriages?
it is very difficult at first - I know because mine is an arranged marriage. After a while you mutually get to really know each other and learn to overlook mutual faults.
In that respect, it is no different from a non-arranged marriage. Even there it takes a while AFTER the commitment to really know all sides of the mate - because during courtship you're only seeing what the other person wants you to see.
Re: Getting married to someone you don't want to get married to!
hmm... so how are you going to like someone by your choice if you don't meet with them, talk with them, etc.
By choice i meant like my parents r gonna tell me a-z of him, his family n ask me if i m fine with it. Also, let me have a look at him and talk maybe but only at home lol. LOL...i dont know i think aisa hi kuch hogay...definately not gonna let me go out and date him for a month or so and decide...nahah..
and by the way do you think ppl show their honest selves in arrange marriages?
hai Allah...you didnt get my point! i said wat the point in going out with him for tea when i know he is most likely going to be his best behaved n best everything lol...i dun know how and where did you drive your question from.
Re: Getting married to someone you don't want to get married to!
In that respect, it is no different from a non-arranged marriage. Even there it takes a while AFTER the commitment to really know all sides of the mate - because during courtship you're only seeing what the other person wants you to see.
very well said...i think one truly only gets to know the real person after they spend time 2gether live 2gether....so unless some1 is livin in a live in relationship they cant even get to know their bf/gf well enough before marriage.
Re: Getting married to someone you don't want to get married to!
Ameen to that! Tx for the wishes :). And yes i do get your point of view too and i dont have anything against people who go about it the right way but lets just say i am not too demanding in that area for myself :P.
Re: Getting married to someone you don't want to get married to!
I think marriage is a topic where we can go on and on forever. There are so many sides and controversies associated with it. To date, or not to date? Love or arranged? Parents marzi or urs? Everyone is different and I guess its upto you to decide what you want from your life. After all, u will be spending th rest of your life with him, no?
Re: Getting married to someone you don't want to get married to!
OUCH !!!! (the title made me say it )
shukar hey ammi abu nay kabhi aisa nahin kaha mjay ... k marry that particular person - dad and mum always say .. agar tmhaari marzi hey tu hum haan ker daitay hain warna inkaar ker daitay hain - yeah parents are a blessing (alhamdolilah)
Re: Getting married to someone you don't want to get married to!
LUC!
never marry some1 becaz your parents like her
never marry some1 becaz you like her
marry some1 whom you and your parents like as your life partner
Re: Getting married to someone you don't want to get married to!
^^I'm not sure if thats good advice in some cases. Usually its difficult for both parents and the child to like someone at the same time and same place.
Re: Getting married to someone you don't want to get married to!
my mums talkin about marriage aswell now. she told my khala down in london to start lookin for a guy and my khala was like 'wot about my son?'. my mum told me and i was like 'helllll noooooo' number 1, hes more like my younger bro since we've with grown up together and are pretty close and number 2, hes friggin 18!!!!! i was like wtf u want me to be arrseted. @ dat point my mum wasnt talkin no for an awnser and i tght i'd be forced into it like one of my friend is at the moment, (shes being forced into a marriage). i was so upset i felt like crying so the next day i had a chat with her and told her that its not right, and hes to young.
soooooo now thankxgod, she aint guna go down that road again, well atleast i hope not.
since we have relatives in karachi shes told them to look for sum1 but wants me to stand on my own two feet 1st then think about marriage,
plus, i need to learn how to cook properly, lool.
Re: Getting married to someone you don't want to get married to!
^^I'm not sure if thats good advice in some cases. Usually its difficult for both parents and the child to like someone at the same time and same place.
it' s good enough becaz then it pays back at the end of the day
