Those who aren’t married yet have you guys been given the option to choose your future partners or will ur parents|elders b making that decision? Personally as days go by I worry a lot as that crucial decision will b made for me rather than me making it for myself.
Re: Getting married to someone you don't want to get married to!
Are you sure your family is going to do thaT?
Do you see any examples in your family where it worked out?
If you have noone in mind, is it really worth fighting your family over?
Re: Getting married to someone you don't want to get married to!
I'm pretty sure that's the way it'll end up. I'm not bothered abt other ppl and how it worked out for them. Ofcourse i hav ppl in mind not that bad a catch. :)
Re: Getting married to someone you don't want to get married to!
Approach your parents before they approach you.
Re: Getting married to someone you don't want to get married to!
Approach your parents before they approach you.
I agree with cricketplaya...
it's best you discuss these matters with your parents openly before you are put in a situation that you could have avoided.
Re: Getting married to someone you don't want to get married to!
I agree with cricketplaya...
it's best you discuss these matters with your parents openly before you are put in a situation that you could have avoided.
but dude, what if he's not open with his parents regarding such matters?
Re: Getting married to someone you don't want to get married to!
but dude, what if he's not open with his parents regarding such matters?
well now is the time to start.
Re: Getting married to someone you don't want to get married to!
I think it should be a mixture of both - your parents can always find a girl/guy for you, but you should be given the time to talk and get to know each other before making the decision. OR if you like someone, just make sure your parents meet him/her & his/her family before getting your heart set on it.
If parents & children work together to make each other happy, there shouldn't be a problem. :)
Re: Getting married to someone you don't want to get married to!
well now is the time to start.
good point. best time to start is now when you're worried about your future married life.
Re: Getting married to someone you don't want to get married to!
i m kinda scared that i might be getting married the way my sis did which is pretty scary. My mum found her a rishta in Pak and arranged everything, offcourse she did the whole bckground check and my dad was here in USA making calls to verify everything. My sis saw the pic of the guy like two weeks before the wedding and we all went to Pak a week before the wedding and she met the guy two days before the nikah. My dad did give her the permission to say NO if she didnt like the guy, but who was he kidding. I dont think i can get into a marriage like this. My dad is cool if i like someone he will surely look into it. My mum only wants to import a doc guy from Pak for me (just like she did for my sis). I dont think i would be able to do that
Re: Getting married to someone you don't want to get married to!
i m kinda scared that i might be getting married the way my sis did which is pretty scary. My mum found her a rishta in Pak and arranged everything, offcourse she did the whole bckground check and my dad was here in USA making calls to verify everything. My sis saw the pic of the guy like two weeks before the wedding and we all went to Pak a week before the wedding and she met the guy two days before the nikah. My dad did give her the permission to say NO if she didnt like the guy, but who was he kidding. I dont think i can get into a marriage like this. My dad is cool if i like someone he will surely look into it. My mum only wants to import a doc guy from Pak for me (just like she did for my sis). I dont think i would be able to do that
I feel sorry for ur sister, that's not the way to do things.
Re: Getting married to someone you don't want to get married to!
^ i would have felt sorry too. But actually things turned out to be pretty nice. She is mashallah happily married for 3 yrs now and Mashallah my bro-in-law is awesome :)
Re: Getting married to someone you don't want to get married to!
^ i would have felt sorry too. But actually things turned out to be pretty nice. She is mashallah happily married for 3 yrs now and Mashallah my bro-in-law is awesome :)
That's good to hear.
Re: Getting married to someone you don't want to get married to!
Hmm it entirely depends on the kind of relationship you have with your parents. I know for one that i will be allowed to say yes or no for my reasons but i know my parents will be even more careful than me in selecting the guy for me. If i end up liking someone and he is the right guy for me they wont have a problem with him either BUT by liking someone i do not mean i go out and date him.
The only thing that perhaps lil bit bother me is the looks matter hehe because though ofcourse my parents/family would make sure that the guy is also decent looking BUT i think i have a different choice from them all. LOL, so that can be a concern. Though ofcourse they would never finalise anything before letting me having a look :P. Waisey, i think it will be better if my parents decide other things on their own because i am little bit too fussy in such matters.
Re: Getting married to someone you don't want to get married to!
I agree with Cricketplaya and AE - approach your parents now while the topic hasnt been touched as yet. This way there will be more time to convince them if they are not looking at points from your side.
Re: Getting married to someone you don't want to get married to!
It's very torturing if your parents try to impose someone on you like that....Definitely take a stand now for your future...Marriage is the biggest decision in onez life...I think it should be taken really seriously...and girls/guys should be open enough to talk to their parents about this...There is nothing to be shy about....Everyone gets married sooner or later...Consult your parents but just make sure its someone who YOU believe is the right person....
Re: Getting married to someone you don't want to get married to!
Hmm it entirely depends on the kind of relationship you have with your parents. I know for one that i will be allowed to say yes or no for my reasons but i know my parents will be even more careful than me in selecting the guy for me. If i end up liking someone and he is the right guy for me they wont have a problem with him either BUT by liking someone i do not mean i go out and date him.
The only thing that perhaps lil bit bother me is the looks matter hehe because though ofcourse my parents/family would make sure that the guy is also decent looking BUT i think i have a different choice from them all. LOL, so that can be a concern. Though ofcourse they would never finalise anything before letting me having a look :P. Waisey, i think it will be better if my parents decide other things on their own because i am little bit too fussy in such matters.
Just curious, what is wrong going out with someone, having chai/coffee in an attempt to try to get to know the person? I mean dating doesn't mean you have to do bad stuff...lol
Re: Getting married to someone you don't want to get married to!
Just curious, what is wrong going out with someone, having chai/coffee in an attempt to try to get to know the person? I mean dating doesn't mean you have to do bad stuff...lol
Well its a personal preference though ofcourse dating not being allowed in Islam is one strong factor that makes me not do it. I know dating doesnt necessairly involve the physical part but still going out with unknown people in an attempt to get to know the real them neither does appeal to me or sound right to me. PLus, i highly doubt it works because how many people are going to show their honest self.
Re: Getting married to someone you don’t want to get married to!
well i believe whether its an arrange marriage or love marriage u r desitnied to get the same person but they r just different ways…
Re: Getting married to someone you don’t want to get married to!
how many?
keep it to one!