I dont think that talking too much should create issues like "why this amount of mehar, why not this amount of gold, why your family is not doing anything for me". Apart from that, when she said clearly to me that "i am marrying you just for the sake of my family and if i would be the guy then situation have been different", then why the hell on earth i should have proceeded with marriage. She just didnt say it but conveyed from her behavior many times. Though there were good times too , but they used to last for a very short amount of time.
As usual and expected, there is blame game going on both sides of the family but i hope it will be settled down soon.
I haven't read through the whole thread but dude, this girl is a disaster. And sadly there are a lot of girls out there like this. They're just dreaming of some guy who is gonna pay for all their luxuries.
How about...marry a DOCTOR?? Buahahahahah.
Sorry, can't help rubbing it in. Pakistani girls are often like what you've described. Senseless twits looking for a free ride, not much different than their parents.
;) Go find some honest good people. Character matters.
Venting out and probably needs to get some answers. I called it off after she created fuss on the amount of gold she was getting at the time of nikkah (fuss only on FEW tolas of gold). She is truly a gold digger. During the break up process i came to know that not only she could twist my statements but she could lie to her parents about my behaviour too.
But the events that followed break up are depressing for me:
She got married on the same dates with a cousin of her (arranged in emergency). This is the same guy she used to tell me that she rejected his proposal because she didnt like his family (not upto level of her family and mean and selfish), the guy had a girlfriend and he was only after her British passport. Her family went ahead with already planned levish wedding functions and had to help guy's side financially too.
Going through episodes of some times relief, but then depression, anger and all other negative emotions i just wonder that has she moved on really. Isnt she the looser? On whatever things she was creating fuss unnecessarily are at the moment her destiny (Allah knows well). I can bet that guy's side would have agreed even on a penny as mehar. The guy is still a student (since past many years in uk, working and studying at the same times) and helping his family in pak financially too.
Or it's me who is the real looser. Blind fooled by her extremely emotional tactics through out the engagement period (even though i thought i was handling it smartly,she was more smarter than me). Called it off just before wedding and now sitting on my arse and thinking how to move on. And honestly speaking, i am pissed off and jealous that the one who made my such time miserable has apparently happily gone through her wedding for which she had the master plan.
what in the world?!?!! so she married a cousin that she had rejected just because she had the wedding preps and all? if she’s such a gold digger, why did she marry a student whos efamily needs financial help?
I wouldn’t worry about it too much. Don’t think of yourself as the loser. She will face her own challenges and you’ll move on as well.
Fights in the engagement period are common, especially when the couples live in different countries. Be positive, and remember the good things about your wife to be. You should be enjoying this period before your wedding. It might be a good idea to speak to one of her elders so that they can have a word with her and make her understand certain things that are annoying you. When things have been discussed you will feel happier. Kindly explain to your fiancé your situation. I am sure once the wedding takes place you guys will not have these little arguments, it's probs because u r so far away from each other which is why you are having these petty arguments. It's a bigger step for a woman to get married, your wife to be will be leaving her family home and country etc. just offer her reassurance and support, and ignore the comments that annoy you. Infact just laugh them off and try to explain to her kindly your side of the situation. I hope that helps you.
false allegations....totally false......
I am glad she is happily married. ....
p.s. I know both of you...
lol
i wish you had explained a bit further...
on a serious note, if your ex fiance was what you had described then you definitely have made the right decision...so dont think much about it...
when i was getting married and my inlaws asked about haq mehar ...my father had said...rishtay paisoun say nai bantay so whatever my inlaws had decided to pay in haq mehar we accepted.....and in my opinion keeping religious factor aside...i seriously think whats the point of getting money from a guy if the relationship between the two is stale or at breaking point?....you cant survive on a few hundred rupees/dollars/pounds for a long time these days anyway...i dont understand the point of fighting over big haq mehar amounts when it can never guarantee a successful marriage....
i am pissed off and jealous that the one who made my such time miserable has apparently happily gone through her wedding for which she had the master plan.
okay so she got the wedding of her dreams . Thats it. Thats all she wanted and thats what she got. A Material thing. Which we all know the value of:here today,gone tomorrow. awedding at which aunties will say yeh kaam tha woh sahi nahi tha u know no matte how beautiful the evnt is there is always someone complaining about something.
Allah gave you a gift -he gave you an opportunity to be free of such a shallow person thank HIM , alot of families would pressurize their kids into going thru with it cuz it was so close to the functions.
I'm sure her hubby is a prince and wont let her forget the favour he's done to her by getting married to her.
Even if it doesnt feel this way right now, trust me , you got the better end of the deal.
Fights in the engagement period are common, especially when the couples live in different countries. Be positive, and remember the good things about your wife to be. You should be enjoying this period before your wedding. It might be a good idea to speak to one of her elders so that they can have a word with her and make her understand certain things that are annoying you. When things have been discussed you will feel happier. Kindly explain to your fiancé your situation. I am sure once the wedding takes place you guys will not have these little arguments, it's probs because u r so far away from each other which is why you are having these petty arguments. It's a bigger step for a woman to get married, your wife to be will be leaving her family home and country etc. just offer her reassurance and support, and ignore the comments that annoy you. Infact just laugh them off and try to explain to her kindly your side of the situation. I hope that helps you.
you do undertsand that he called off the wedding? and she is marrying someone else right?
false allegations....totally false......
I am glad she is happily married. ....
p.s. I know both of you...
Though i strongly believe that you trolled, but even after giving you the benefit of doubt ,, it makes me feel more good about my decision that you said she is happily married and my allegations are false (when you are talking anonymously on public forums then it's not allegations, use some common sense please). You obviously dont know jack about the statements i had been hearing from her in private since a very long time. She is no doubt a perfect narcissist.
p.s. Only regret i do have is that it took me so long to reach that decision.
why get rattled so much. He was just trying to pull a fast one on you...
All things said and done, I salute for the courage to take the right decision. Better late than never. Sometimes we worry about society so much that we tend to forget our own future.
She's probably stressed out. For everybody who's saying this isn't normal- go watch Bridezilla. She may be a clingy girl by nature but that doesn't mean she's psycho.
Instead of thinking about ending things, first talk to her and see whats bothering her in general and why she's going back and forth about the marriage. Then tell her you're busy at work, cant talk to her everyday, and she needs to trust you.
so she married a cousin that she had rejected just because she had the wedding preps and all? if she’s such a gold digger, why did she marry a student whos efamily needs financial help?