Re: Getting married to a psycho??
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Re: Getting married to a psycho??
she needs to grow up a little.
Re: Getting married to a psycho??
She sounds exactly like a girl I know from Karachi. Seriously, you still have time...end it if that's what you want. Better to end it 3 weeks before than to live in misery. This is not normal behaviour, and this is not the kinda mood swings normal girls have.
Re: Getting married to a psycho??
not pyscho living in her own fantasy world as u mention she has master plan for all weddings thing... then u r from europe...so she might think u will spend more money as she thought and will give more mehar also ..she assume everything by her own then if not fulfilled then she complains u about this all .. i think she think wedding is about dresses , etc fantasy etc means people give attention to bride and all ... she should think in realistic manner now becoz wedding in a bond,comitment ,trust,understanding,love,,,, not for complaining about his or her partner...
as as far 2-3 hrs time of talking so here in pak mostly fiance or in a relationship people do this and share with his or her cuzns and frnd and yur fiance not replying or talking for any reason others are like """wo tum se bat kyun nai karta" kahi aur chakar nai " etc like things and girls easily pick those things and get upset ...
well i think she has so much expectations from u
Re: Getting married to a psycho??
Thanx all for the response.
I called her mother today and told her the whole situation. She was apparently surprised and furious. She told me not to worry and she will talk to her daughter to make her understand. I told her that her daughter behaved immaturely and now she is not only criticizing me but my family too. She has given some not nice statements about my parents. I also said that marriage is a serious business and if her daughter is so much disturbed and unhappy then we should make it clear beforehand. I conveyed this all in most sophisticated manner.
I didnt talk to my fiancee because i do believe she is never going to understand what i say. If i say i am disturbed and having second thoughts then she goes two steps further saying she is more disturbed, and usually i end up giving her assurances that everything will be fine. I am going to meet her family in next few days. Invited for dinner plus some shopping. All set, all planned with her family. But we are not on speaking terms with each other.
Re: Getting married to a psycho??
No one can advise you by listening one side of story. May be she will be thinking same as how she will survive with a ...
Re: Getting married to a psycho??
May be she's just stressed....wedding does that to some women.
Re: Getting married to a psycho??
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Re: Getting married to a psycho??
Cold feet perhaps.
I hate to admit it I gave my now husband of 12 yrs a hard time a week before the wedding.
He actually had to sit me down and talk about what the reasons for us getting married were and that there was and all that jazz.
Try that.
Re: Getting married to a psycho??
Iss mey gorah ka kiya thaluuq?
Re: Getting married to a psycho??
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Re: Getting married to a psycho??
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Re: Getting married to a psycho??
Cold feet perhaps.
I hate to admit it I gave my now husband of 12 yrs a hard time a week before the wedding. He actually had to sit me down and talk about what the reasons for us getting married were and that there was and all that jazz.
Try that.
I dunno....doesn't sound like cold feet, she's been like this for a while? If the roles were reversed everyone would be screaming at her to run the other way.
mood swings like those are normal.
No they're not.
Re: Getting married to a psycho??
Assuming her behavior is the result of wedding stress.....then here's another thing to consider. Married life is FULL of things that test our ability to handle stress. Not only compromising with our spouse....with adjusting to having in-laws in our lives can also cause issues. And having a child.....I don't know ANY parent who would say that being a parent is stress-free.
So if being under stress for a wedding makes her behave like this..........is she going to do this for the rest of your life every time something stresses her out? Why would any man want a wife who handles stress by turning into a bitc* towards him?
Re: Getting married to a psycho??
Iss mey gorah ka kiya thaluuq?
Pata nhi, saw this pic on fb while reading this thread, thought its perfect for this thread
Re: Getting married to a psycho??
A 26 years old girl is not a baby/bachi.
First thing first, you should ask her. I am also providing you reasonable/acceptable answers but her words would decide her fate of this relationship.
1) What is her reasonable amount of money/standards of spending?
I believe girls are emotional in their wedding preparation and considers it one of the biggest day of life, but at this point her allegations on your family is disturbing. She is not even a DIL/*Bahu *of your family and if she is, she still doesnt have right to criticize the specific/general arrangements/preparations of wedding. She may register her specific concerns politely through you/her mom to your family. She cant dictate you/your family unless she has her own term with your family and listen by your family.
You can clear her concern that you are not earning that much money which she believe or under the impression of hotshot.
2) What was her expectation of dowry/Mehar?
Mehar should be reasonable, and I believe it is agreed amount between both families. Using *Mehar *at this point is also disturbing, but you can review her concern by asking her expectations. I personally consider it cheap tactic/trick.
3) If she doesnt want to get married, then what is whole drama of above concerns? Or was she saying due to above two concern, she wants to call off from this relationship?
As many of the posters are saying her behavior is quite normal while few members consider it psycho. I would say her she is under emotional state, but calling off from relationship just because her Mehar and wedding preparations are not according to her desire is big red flag. She has all rights to whine but showing this kind of attitude at this point of your relationship is not appreciated. Imagine if she use this at this situation, what would she do later in your life?
You should talk to her and give her time of one or two days. If she reaches at final decision then let your family know if it is calling off.
Talking 2 to 3 hours and keep complaining that you dont care is quite ok in your relationship. I personally consider it too much communication. You cant get anything new if you talk daily two to three hours. You guys will keep repeating same issue/stuff/batain *again and again unless you both/one of you are smooth tongue or *batooni. I am also surprised that she is not considering your tough schedule (9-6 office). Have you ever informed her that it is annoying for you because you feel tired/etc/whatever the reason.
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If i start giving her time everday and tolerate her mood swings (which ranges from me being a blessing for her to me actually destroyed her life)** then few days she remain normal. She tells me that she is very happy about the marriage and i am very caring and understanding person. But somehow again she goes to cycle of complaining that if i loved her then i would be spending much on her. She think she is a blessing for me and i should realize that.**
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lol. Only time will prove who is blessing to whom. One can claim anything but actions determine the actual worth of those words. To be honest with you, she is kind of confuse girl. She should take stand on one side. Her behavior is contradictory.
I am not saying to call off this wedding but for the sake of your understanding, there is nothing bad to call off wedding now then later. People do break off engagements one day before wedding, and in your case things are control and have lot of time to cancel arrangements. Again, I am not saying to take my words as your final decision. I am just clarifying your misunderstanding on it.
My POV is quite clear and underlined.
Re: Getting married to a psycho??
don't all girls/women do this?
looks like she is doing it a bit too much, but this happens to all right?
Re: Getting married to a psycho??
don't all girls/women do this?
looks like she is doing it a bit too much, but this happens to all right?
They dont do it if they are into the guy. Its a shame Pakistani guys have such low expectations.
Re: Getting married to a psycho??
Are you calling me a feminist?! 
I’m not ! I have women!!! 
Actually I think this because he mentioned that she’s getitng like this as the wedding approaches.
Think about it - a girl pretty mcuh will have to leave her whole family and live with this dude (and maybe his family) - the guy at minimum still has the comfort of his surroundings. Its a turbulent time for girls.
They lash out.
Re: Getting married to a psycho??
They dont do it if they are into the guy. Its a shame Pakistani guys have such low expectations.
look around man. its true for paki women. you gotta work with what you got.