Getting Married - good or bad?

Lifestyle Relationships
21

Re: Getting Married - good or bad?

thats quite an offensive statement to make…

22

Re: Getting Married - good or bad?

Well his crime was offensive too....remember some people were taken in for a very verbose emotional roller coaster in that thread, revealing their sexual life, or lack thereof.

23

Re: Getting Married - good or bad?

Cuddly toys equal eccentricity?

Wants a marriage without ANY expectation? (LOL. Life is about expectations..let alone relationships)

Troll!

24

Re: Getting Married - good or bad?

considering you guys never were able to spot the troll… u be least authority on troll spotting :chai:

and the onus of getting ridden and disclosing sexuality is on the idiocy of the person who chose to ride the rollercoaster…

25

Re: Getting Married - good or bad?

Actually no one has the authority to call anyone a troll so I suggest everyone stay clear of the thread if they believe we have a troll situation. Not that one isn’t allowed to be critical.

26

Re: Getting Married - good or bad?

^ But those of us with uncanny skills to detect one reserve the right to judge those who can't :D

27

Re: Getting Married - good or bad?

TBH You can read here

http://www.paklinks.com/gs/life-and-relationships/503758-unfortunate-story.html

Also, what’s wrong with cuddly toys all of a sudden, this is what I mean by being accepted for who you are, they’re perfectly harmless.

28

Re: Getting Married - good or bad?

I used to feel this way, now I see it very much as venturing deep into the unknown, carrying a bomb with a timer, however you just don't know when the bomb will explode, which is the scary part.

I think point 5 is the scariest part, as I have heard this happen with a few people :(

29

Re: Getting Married - good or bad?

I don't know if I want to get married or not? HMMMM

30

Re: Getting Married - good or bad?

I think personally, communication would be key before you decide to jump into anything because if you want to get married to a woman, there will be expectations - we're created that way, its called being emotionally in-sync for a reason. If your wife loves flowers, she would expect you to know that.. and remember it - so maybe you need to think a bit more - I know its hard.. to be alone but you have to realize that with every relationship you need to compromise a bit, and the woman does too.. good luck finding a zero expectation kuri, because as far as I've known the world, I haven't come across any..

31

Re: Getting Married - good or bad?

So I'll ask again. WHY do you want to get married for a 2nd time? What is missing in your life right now that you feel the need for a "wife"?

If its only the occassional boredom you refer to in your original post, then why not focus on making more friends?

32

Re: Getting Married - good or bad?

  1. There’s nothing “wrong” with cuddly toys. But I’m sure you’re intelligent and socially aware enough to realize that MAJORITY of the people are turned off by the idea of a grown man having cuddly toys on this bed. I’m sure you’re aware that to most OTHER people, this seems weird.

  2. You state in your original post that you’ve been told that you’re eccentric. So you’re already very aware that many people get a negative impression of your behavior/attitude.

All this being said…when you decided to marry your 1st wife…the 1 HOUR you choose to speak to her being the nikah…was she aware of all your behaviors? Since you’ve already been told by others that your behavior is eccentric…did you make the girl aware of this? The idea that she might also find it eccentric and may not able to live with your as your wife due to her feelings towards your eccentric behavior never crossed your mind?

What’s done is done. I don’t think you’re anywhere near ready for marriage. But IF and when you do choose to marry again…I highly recommend you talk to the girl more than 1 HOUR before the nikah. And be very honest about your “eccentric”/non-traditional ways of behaving/thinking. She has a right to make an informed decision on whether or not she’s ok with marrying a non-traditional man.

33

Re: Getting Married - good or bad?

True, I guess more friends is an option, now to go out and find them :P

34

Re: Getting Married - good or bad?

True, I guess it may appear to your spouse as unusual, but perfectly harmless IMO.

I didn't make her aware as personally I wasn't aware of it, my sisters have them too. Its important to accept your spouse for who they are(within reason), my ex never mentioned that she suffered from HPD and was obsessed with flirting with strange blokes to the point of destroying her marriage, lying about everything she thinks she can get away with and thinking she's above Allah himself, accepting your husband has a collection of soft toys? Not the end of the world.

35

Re: Getting Married - good or bad?

might wanna follow this......

Marriage does not come without its fair share of drama, expectations from the spouse or the family members. You cannot control everything in a relationship or expect a certain way things should go in it.

tbh its not marriage what you are looking for.

36

Re: Getting Married - good or bad?

this is so funny

37

Re: Getting Married - good or bad?

Poof

38

Re: Getting Married - good or bad?

True, could go one of three ways

My happiness level could improve - great who doesn't want this?
My happiness level could remain the same - can't complain about this now can I really?
My happiness level could decrease - whilst not the end of the world, it's certainly not ideal.

The last one happened last time, and then some. :/ there is a risk to be taken, wether it's worthwhile or not who knows.

39

Re: Getting Married - good or bad?

as Hassan Jahangir advised

Hassan Jehangir Shadi Na Karna Yaroo - YouTube

40

Re: Getting Married - good or bad?

what kind of cuddly toy was it? :s