Then as I said…this is the wrong time for marriage.
Relationships that are as serious as marriage are all about changing and adapting. You sound like you’re in a good place right now after a bad stint and that’s great. You should enjoy that for a while before you think about adding someone else to the mix because things WILL change. You want someone to work with you and she will want someone to work with her.
As for shallowness…physical attraction is important. Women can even overlook those things to a certain degree but not men. So yeah, you want to be attracted to her and she should be attracted to you. For that, its not bad to do things she likes and vice versa.