we’ve both told our parents about us…parents have even talked and everything seems to be going fine.
however he’s in Pakistan and im in UK…and we’ve never discussed where we are going to live. from everything Ive heard from him, it seems like he wants to stay in Pakistan and settle there cuz his family’s there etc. soon he’s going to start his business there.
my parents are probably assuming that he’s going to come to UK…and he’s parents are probably assuming that im going to come pakistan. and I dont know if either one will be prepared for their daughter or son to go away. I only thought about this recently and I will talk to him about it soon…
but I want to know what do guppies think. what should be done in this situation?
You guys should work out where you'll both be happy with the work & family opportunities that you both have.
You may have work opportunity issues in Pakistan, he may have work opportunity issues in the UK.
You would have family opportunitiy issues in Pakistan, he would have family opportunity issues in the UK.
Why did you only realise this now, rather than earlier? When you first started considering a future with him, where did you mentally envisage it being geographically located?
R u guys nutts, when you fall in love with a person u dont sit there n go 'hmmm he lives in blah-land, where will we live' but yeah it is important and she will talk to him.
Impulse i dont think you have much choice, he made his intentions clear to you and its not fair if you make an issue out of it now. And Better think of ways to talk to your parents, i know cuz my parents were worried too cuz my fiance's family is in pakistan.
I agree with Tikhi, looks like he has made up his mind, so u better talk to him about it soon and then talk to your parents. It should be a mutual decision.
Alhamdolillah, i have no issues like that. She promised that she is going to buy me a seperate house so that I dont have to live with her parents and she earns enough to take care of the two of us.
girls usually go to their susral guys don't come to theirs.....culture is a huge thing to many PK ppl.....I am sure though if u discuss it with him that maybe u can stay in UK for a while and once u make money go back to PK.....
This is true, even though old-fashioned but since his folks are in Pakistan they are expecting u to come and live with them…but really this shud have been discussed early on, i think it’s only natural for it to come up at some point when ur in a long distance relationship…well talk to him, better now than even later and best of luck to u both
yesterday we were talking and he said hes going dubai soon to work for about 6 months....then he said to me "we'll live in dubai. what do u think?" I shouldve discussed it then but I just said to him "its up to you wherever u want to live"
but I will talk about it soon....I just feel strange asking him that now...
Have your parents spoken to his parents yet? It will come out sooner or later. Don’t wait for a bomb to explode … I’m sure they will be extremely shocked when they find out.
It sounds like you have not spoken to him properly about this either. It is an important issue and you should discuss it clearly and lay out what both of your expectations are so that you can work through whatever issues you may have before the wedding.
Tell your parents you are pregnant, then laugh and tell them you were only joking and that you have found your man and will be moving to another country. I am sure they will be relieved to hear that it is not so bad. Plus Dubai has probably the most relaxed visa policy in all of middle east so they can visit you anytime they want to.
today I talked to the guy im considering marrying about where he wants to live.
he says he wants to stay in Pakistan cuz thats where his parents are....and also he has many contacts there and its where he wants to open a business. hence there is no way he'd even consider moving to UK. he says unlike alot of other pakistani guys he did not like me just cuz i have a british passport....he loves me for other reasons.
so being as thats clear...he doesnt want to move....
im scared, how do I tell my parents that? im sure they assumed he will come to UK. will they agree to me staying so far away in Pakistan?
right now my mom is in Pakistan for another 2 months so should I talk to her about this over the phone or should I talk to my dad about it (which will be even more scary). I actually feel bad saying this to them....cuz my parents are the closest to me from all my bros/siss so it would be harder for them to part with me.
on the other hand I am looking at my older and younger bro's wives....they are both from pakistan and they will also have to leave their family. so its the same thing. but im thinking will I be able to easily adjust to living in Pakistan. he says he can provide all the luxuries cuz they have everything in their house....but what about my friends and family. how often will i see them. how am I to tell them?
It boggles me that you didnt think of all this before and assumed he'd move to the UK. What you should do is, since your mum is in Pakistan, ask her to go see this dude and his family, check them out, their house, lifestyle and stuff, and since she's your mum she'll be the best judge as to whether you'll fit in there or not. And also, are you willing to make some major sacrifices?
It's about time you started discussing these issues seriously with your parents girly.
if not directly.. than print the copy of your post and hand in to your father and fax it to your mom…
well seriously… i wonder how someone else over the net can tell u what u should do and what would be your parents decision
it’s your call… merely yours and your family… and a very personal an sensitive one… Think Wisely
you dont love me no more:crying: just coz i gained a few pounds:(
